Hi, C. Cat here.
Okay, okay, I'm going to just bypass everything else that looms over me in order to address this one issue that I have GOT to fix before it gets much to out of hand.
In short, I, some time ago, was going through a major depressive episode, and everything was just going down and down and I couldn't fix anything with my mentality. I got steadily sadder, miserable, I thought, and still do think, that I fucked everything up. Bottom line: I began self-harming just to be distracted from everything outside and inside.
Now, I don't do it solely for that. It IS to distract myself, and to punish myself for all my fuck ups, but I wouldn't be doing it nearly as much as I am now if I wasn't actually addicted to the pain it provides.
Maybe addicted is too strong a word, but I like it. It's not arousing or anything, no way, I simply enjoy feeling the sting. It's becoming a problem, considering the fact that there are now layers of scars on my legs and shoulders.
Please, help me. I'm battling the depression, and succeeding {I'm more neurotic and anxious than depressed now}, but this issue is something I can't shake.

I don't know what made you think that you fucked everything up, but let me tell you that nobody; truly nobody has ever only made good choices where everything ended well. Everyone makes mistakes, some more often, others less, but no one is perfect. Everyone has flaws or a dark side within oneself that we don't want others to see, but that makes us human. We are emotional beings who often act on impulses and aren't always able to see a situation from every possible perspective. That simply isn't possible. It's human to fuck up... especially when we are already going through tough times. It's normal. It triggers self-hatred, extreme guilt sadness and sometime uncontrollable rage because we beat ourselves up over it because it was something important to us... It happens to many people, even if we don't realize it from the outside and feel alone because of it. Now... this will be hard, believe me I know that, but try to accept that some things that happened in the past can't be changes and only be seen as an experience to learn from.

Please correct me if I am wrong but I believe it's the amount of self-hatred that still pushes you down. If you don't mind me asking have you ever written down what was/is happening to you? Sometimes it helps do deal with things this way because you can let your thoughts out and don't have to push them down inside. Throwing a ball against a wall or doing some kind of sport, like boxing in the cellar with a punching bag, can help to let strong emotions out. Even crying, when you feel like it, can help a little.

If you can trust someone, a friend for example, talk with him/her about your problem, what caused it what happened before, because I think a lot happened to you from the way you write. Try to remove the stuff you cut yourself with as good as possible. If you have the urge to cut try to take view deep breaths, sit down (if possible) and take your own hands or try to wash your face with cold water. I don't know if you have elastic bands (they are often in the kitchen) but you could take a view (a little thicker ones, so they don't immediately wretch when you pull them), wear them on your arm next to some bracelets and pull them to feel something on your arm. The positive thing is that they don't leave scars.

I hope some the suggestions help you at least a little. Stay strong and if you feel like talking more or have any questions feel free to ask them

Draw a cute animal, a name of a person you like or something like that on the places you usually cut yourself at and if you cut yourself, the animal or the person "dies". Might not be much but it helped some people.

Anyways, is being anxious and neurotic better than depressed? What do you even mean by neurotic and anxious?