I'm really considering suicide. I have for a while. I felt the need to off myself for awhile now. I think I have been a pussy about it and been afraid of the pain. But I think that instead of just feeling it I should make a goal. January 30th I should do it regardless.

Reason is because so far in my life everyone else I have loved simply don't love me. I cannot be alive if love is not a thing for me. I'm already 23 and I'm exhausted. The rejection the people who just tell me that my emotions don't matter.

When I was in high my freshmen year a guy killed himself. It changed our class. For the better. All of us respected each other in high school because we understood how people feel.

My passing could be the Same. It could give a chance to teach people that others around them feel. Tragedy brings understanding and pain bring closure and a chance to feel.

That's why I should off myself. It would mean more than my life.

Hello,
I am sorry that it has gotten to this point for you. I know it may sound cliche but you are not alone. Honestly it takes a lot for me to say that personally... I am 22 and I know what it feels like to feel completely alone, ever since I went to college. I dont know you personally and you dont know me but i have found friends on the internet who have helped me through rough times and I realized I wasnt as alone as I thought I was. They didnt know me but they tried to get to know me and lift me up from the pain I felt and I am grateful for that.
The reason why the people changed when that guy in your class passed away was because they realized what they have lost. They will not get the chance to see that person each day, to talk with them, to connect. Loosing a life shows how short your own life really is. it creates a void where there shouldn't be one and we try to fill that emptiness with kindness to make up for the sadness. At the end of the day we are all humans struggling to make sense of the life we are given and make the most out of it. each person carries their own burden.the happiest person you see can feel as if they are dying inside. pain, sadness, loneliness they are part of what makes us human. so even though you dont know me im here for you please email me if you want to I would love to talk kaiyo.dollars@gmail.com

Hey.
Dial 2 months back i considered suicide as well. Im transgender and at the time was nearing the 2 year point of my transition and i just seemed deadlocked in german bureacracy, left without hormones and noone seemed to really be about to make that happen soon either.
And that meant that day after day i needed as much effort as others spend on everything in a week combined not to live, but to just barely survive the day, to literally drag myself to work and sometimes i literally called in sick on the grounds of depression. Emotionally i was dead. Nothing i felt was valid, i always needed to scrutinize and filter what feelings were mine, and what testosrerone was trying to push me into, and that didnt leave much.
I was literally at the point of if i didnt get hormones on my next appointment, then i would either get them some other way wirh no fucks given about whether its legal, or just end my life if that fails.
Luckily i did get hormones then and im happy with the result. I have felt feelibgs i could call my own without doubt and im finally living and on the way to thriving.

My point is: suicide would kill any chance of the next day bringing something better. Your reasons to kill yourself are petty damn weak tbh. You should either find out the real reason your life is worth so little to you (you might be in denial about the real thing) and fix it, or you stay alive and either wait for someone to make your life better, or do it yourself. But killing yourself for such reasons wont mean much either.

Who is telling you that your emotions don't matter? Friends? Family? Girlfriends/Boyfriends? Are they literally saying that your emotions don't matter, or did they just hurt your feelings? Since I have a hard time believing that one person, let alone multiple people are telling you that your emotions don't matter.

If you mean that they hurt your feelings, that does not equal to them thinking that your emotions don't matter. People hurt each other emotionally all the time. I'm sure you've hurt someone's feelings before too. We all have. And you may think that nobody cares about you, but people do and they'll hurt if you're gone one day.

I'm sure that the boy who killed himself in your high school thought that nobody cared about him, yet your whole class at least cared enough to learn from his loss. As you said yourself, maybe your death will teach others. Well it'll only teach them if they care enough, so if they don't care about you anyways, suicide will accomplish nothing except serve as a means for you to run away from your problems.

Obviously I don't know your situation as well as you, but almost certainly you are wrong if you think that nobody cares about you. Hell even above me there are two other people trying to convince you to not commit suicide. At least they care enough to take the time out of their day to try and help you. Secondly, if nobody cares about you anyways, they're not gonna care to learn anything from your death.

But with that being said, it's up to you what you want to do with your life. It's your choice to weigh how bad your problems really are, and if they're worth throwing away your only chance of happiness for. Your life is your one chance of joy. I don't know your situation, maybe your problems really are that bad. But, I'd say that if you're worrying about something such as "love" and "rejection", I personally would not toss away my life for problems such as those.

I wish you the best of luck.

Look, I'm just a kid, so maybe I don't understand, but I strongly believe that killing yourself is selfish. Its an easy way out of pain of life, leaving behind all of your friends and family behind, causing them unimaginable distress. Even if the people in your life don't understand your problems, thats no reason to punish them. Ending your own life wouldn't be so horrible for you as it would be for others. Your life could get better and you should stick it out, rather than running away. Please don't do this.