Would you say it's a choice to like or dislike something? Is it a choice to be interested or disinterested in something?

The reason I'm asking is because I have a very frustrating problem of severe disinterest in other people. For some reason I just can't bring myself to care about or take interest in other people on any kind of deeper level. I don't mean that I hate or dislike them, or anyone, and am not a bad person but rather it's impossible for me to get/feel close to anyone.

The thing that annoys me the most about this is that I don't want to be alone. I always tend to be aware of other people and if I don't know much about them I'll think that they might be someone I would really like, but then when I find out more about them, and I don't mean anything deep or personal or anything, I end up disinterested in them. I've had so many relationships that just felt forced and not real, that they felt like a burden to me having to "be polite" and stuff that I just don't know how to end properly.

I don't know how I come across saying these things, but I feel like such a horrible person for being like this despite never having any bad intentions in what I do. I don't want to be alone but it's like everyone else is the same pole of a magnet as me and I always end up pushing away.

The thing is that I don't feel like my interests and who I can get close to is even in my control but just who I am. What am I missing here? Am I looking at this wrong or something?
And if I'm not then what am I supposed to do???? You can't know enough about someone just by looking at them but if you get too close you just find yourself in an awkward unwanted relationship, or at least I do.

It just feels like I'm in a lose-lose position here, where there is no right answer.

I'm in the same situation that you. I think I can be polite and friendly with these person but i won't help them. In order to be alone i fixed a lot of objectves for a day like : study in peace or read a book.

First off, true lose-lose situations dont exist.
Secondly, before asking some random people on the internet, have you tried talking to a psychiatrist?
Also, I am a bit confused by your phrasing. Are you saying youve never, even a single time, been interested in another human? Why do you want to get close to people in the first place? What kind of close are you looking for?

And to answer the actual question... well, yes and no. You might be able to change your personality, likes and dislikes etc. but you can't really change who you are. It really depends on what you define as "who I am". And it depends on the person and a concrete example as well.

>>3 What would a psychiatrist do?
It's hard to phrase something like this but I'll try again. Maybe a better way of explaining this is by saying "potential interest" when it comes to people I don't know much about. So what I mean by this is that if I don't know enouggh about someone but seem to have an interest in them it's just that I potentially could be interested in them because I don't yet know. Does that make sense? If it does and we separate whether I am interested in someone as opposed to possibly being interested in someone, then no, I am yet to find someone that interests me you could say.
Everything about this seems contradictory so it's hard to explain because it doesn't really make sense. It's not that I'm not interested in other people as a whole, but rather all the individuals that I've met I guess. I don't want to be alone, but I don't want to be with just anyone and have a fake/empty relationship. You could say that I believe there are people out there who will interest me simply because of how many people there are in the world.

I feel like I'm just making it worse by talking more on here. Does no one get what I mean? I don't know what else to say...

Is this what you're meaning?
You don't want to be alone, but you just can't find the right person to be with you without them going away?
OR
You don't want to be alone, but everytime you find a friend, you'lol find that she is not to your expectations?

I have a similar problem with you. Everytime I find a "friend", he or she will find ways to betray me. FE Hurting me or accusing me of something I didn't do. Well, Just say that i put too much expectations.
This might sound simple to solve, but it's very hard (according to my opinion) since every way you try to use, you'll simply grow disinterested in it easily (Call it "Easy-Disinterested-Charm") so what i suggest is trying to find friends with traits that have the similar problems 😊
If you want to add me on kik, the username is BooWD

Anyways, I wish you good luck!

It seems like you are a either a perfectionist, just have weird standards or everyone around you sucks as a person. Not much you can dk about it except for meeting more people I guess. Or lower/change your standards.

Maybe seeing a psychologist or psychiatrist wont do anything, but you cant say for sure until youve tried.

I kinda know how you feel. I recently just broke up with a guy because I honestly just realized that I wasn't interested in him. It happens to me a lot. Maybe one day we will find someone that we are actually interested in.

I guess you could say that I don't really believe in one-sided relationships. The kind of person I'd be be really really interested in would be someone who would be just as interested in me? It's hard to explain, but the point is that I'm never worried about whether someone likes me or not because if they don't then they won't be the person I'm looking for anyway. Things like lies and betrayal this applies to, too.

Perfectionism might be a way of looking at this but it's more that I'm after something different or unique rather than something perfect. So I guess I just have "weird standards" then.

But that's the thing though, every relationship seems to have some kind of bias behind it and not feel real to me anymore. I want a pure and open relationship, something with meaning. But there's just too many people in the world for any of this to not feel like we're just settling with the best we've got, be it friends or bf/gf.

I don't know what to say or do about something like this, but I'll still be here if anyone else has something to say.