I'm being serious.


I have been wishing to die for some time now. I have attempted but it's hard because the body wants to self preservate. Is there anyone in the dollars that would be willing to terminate me? My life has no purpose and I need to end to make the people I love life better.

I don't think somebody here would try to "terminate you" cuz its a murder you know ?

You know that those loved ones will probably be devastated if you were terminated. Everyone has purpose so don't think that.

Try to see the good things that happen throughout the day! Like the weather being nice or someone complimenting you. See how that works and please don't terminate yourself. Please please please.

One thing that kept me from continuing to commit suicide is thinking of the pain of cutting your wrists or the feeling of smashing on the ground from jumping and not yet dying and having to wait a few more minutes in pain before actually dying. Or you might almsot be on the verge of death and someones saves you. Its just something to think about before trying. :3

Yeah and think that one person have to clean your suicide. Its very depressing

Is it still murder if I ask for it?

Those "loved ones" have nothing else but abandoned me because I am not worth it to them. Have you ever said I love you and the world responds I'm disgust like its the worst? I am not loved. People just say they care but they are done with me. The people I love have just abandoned me. I don't deserve to live.

I would look at nice things its just not enough. At least I've tried and it doesn't work.

Thinking how painful it is, is what makes me stay away from it. That's because I am weak. I need someone who can do it for me because I will not myself. I know I cannot be here anymore. Some people are worth more when they are dead. I know that while I am alive no one would care for me, that all I do will be wrong but if I am dead then everyone will say I am a great person or something even though they think I'm crap.

I also try to kill myself one time, i mean, i did a lot of bad thing to the people and i had an love illusion, then i met the dollars, and i start to do good things to all without expecting anything from the others. I mean, why don't you try this too? Do things to people without expect anything. It's really good. Life can be amazing, man.

I also did a lot of bad. I had a girl that when she decided it was over, I pushed and pushed for it to not be the case. While I was messaging every day stating why the decision was wrong, I messed up because I hurt her feelings.

After time passed, I developed a crush on a friend and I got rejected because simply I wasn't good enough.

Not to mention that I lost a lot of fo friends because my now ex-girlfriend told everyone that I was being verbally abusive.

I can't get my life back and all I do is get on the way.

Sure I can do good things but it feels like there is no longer any point to it. The people I loved have abandoned me and I need an out.

I truly just wish for things to get fixed and for me to not be alone all the time. To not have a moment when I was angry to determine my future. I really wish to be forgiven and to be able to move on but there is something that feels like it is impossible. No one has been able to help and that's all I want.

Yukito, I'm sorry you had to deal with all of that.

Well, its not like anything anyone here says will really make a difference to someone in your state, but are you seriously asking random people to murder you? Thats just dumb, nobody would do it, and even if he said he would, CIA would be going get him lol. Nevermind that he probably wont even live anywhere near enough to bother even if the previous two things didnt happen. Thing about the plausibility of stuff like this before posting if you are actually serious. If you just want to vent, there are already threads for that. If you are just dumb and/or not even willing to think about probably the last thing in your life well... i guess nothing can be done about that.
Also, how would you dying help anything? If you think you are bothering people just run away from home or something. Its not like none of the 7 bilion people on earth all despise your existence, thats statistically impossible.
Also, I personally think suicide is pretty stupid because its an irreversible "solution" to a reversible situation. Anyways its not like youll be there to care about what happened afted you died, why should you care in the first place? Get that through your head again, death means you completely stop existing and everything youve done and coulve done no longer means anything to you, because you dont exist. Duh.

And yes, it is still murder if you ask for it, you can easily google that.

Yes I agree with the person above me. Even if your current friends, family, or ex girlfriends don't like you, there are over 7 billion people in this world. Go out and make some new friends. There are a lot of nice people in the world, and you just have to go out and find them.

And you mention that you feel stuck and unable to move forward, and to me it seems like you are holding yourself back. You are the one that is refusing to move forward. You talk about how the people in your life don't care about you, and keep drilling on that like it's the most important thing in the world. It's not. And don't keep messaging your girlfriend if she says it is over. Move on. As I said earlier, you can go out and meet new people. And I know that it's easier said than done, but just go out there and give it a shot first.

And also, you say you want to be forgiven, but the real person who has to forgive you is yourself. You say that you don't deserve to live? Come now. Do you murder puppies and kittens in your free time? What have you done that makes it so that you don't deserve to live? You hurt your girlfriends feelings? Everyone hurts others people's feelings from time to time. That doesn't mean that everyone should die.

And lastly, other people can help you, but it seems to me that most of your problems are just because you perceive there to be a big problem when there actually isn't. So ultimately, it's up to you to get yourself out of this.

I wish you the best of luck.

Good luck!!

Reading things like this makes my heart beat fast in concern. I hope you don't continue to believe that you're not cared about. I wholeheartedly believe that problems aren't meant to last forever. Once you've made it through these hard times, you'll know it's not impossible. My heart felt so much lighter with relief after I got past my problems. So I need you to keep hope that it'll get better. For me it wasn't easy or quick, it actually had me struggling the majority of my life but I'm still here and much better that before. I know it's possible. Nothing is impossible. I believe in you.

And there are good hearted people that want the best for people that they don't even know. I treat everyone that I can like a loved best friend/ sibling but you also have to protect yourself emotionally/mentally. While I try to show love to everyone I know and meet, I also keep in mind that everyone's different. The truth is that there are cruel people out there too and people you know change over years.

To protect myself, I don't expect anything of anyone. Even people I've know for what seems like forever. I may be surprised for a while if they act out of character but I can't let their actions keep me down. You can do the same. Don't give anyone so much power over you that you devalue your own life. You're just as important as anyone else on this earth. Don't you think everyone has a purpose? You've had an effect on someone by being here. Bad situations can be resolved into something good. We just have to learn from the bad and keep moving. From my bad past I'm able to talk positively to you. So whether you think you're good or bad, give yourself and your situation time to change.

Stay positive. Please don't give up. Staying determined was key for me. There were many trial and errors. I didn't type this paragraph without watery eyes after reading your post. People are here for you. What exactly is it that feels impossible to you? can you explain?

Ill keep this short. You posted on the dollars...yeah you dont wanna die and for you saying the body wants to presefve itself? Its actually your mind. What that means is that your telling yourself that you wanna live. The answer to life is that there is no answer it just IS. You dont have a choice if you dont give yourself one. You do however have the choice of how to live your life. Im a freelance therapist so take my advice and do with it however you please.

just saying but the fact that you said "I'm being serious" usually means that you are split about it yourself

Never, EVER believe that suicide is the option. True it's an option, but there's always others. 1. Facing the problem. You're life may be in jeopardy now, but realize that out there in the universe, you will find your reason of living. Live for the people who will miss you. Live for the things you will lose one day.
What i'm saying is, that You Only Live Once. Destroy this life, and you will lose everything and only gain Nothingness.