Hey guys I hate to ask for help on this but I'm not sure on how to handle the situation right now and I'd like to do it anonymously since this issue is just... ah I don't know... fucking personal ya know.

So where do I start... Hm a friend of mine is switching from one relationship with a girl to another (about every 1 to 2,5 months) sometimes with less than 1 month between the breakups desperately looking for love. Most of the time the relationships are not even that serious and if then only from one side.

About 3 and a half weeks ago he went together with a girl he knows for about 1,25 years. The thing is that she has serious issues regarding her mental health (episodes of her reappearing eating disorder with moments of throwing up, depression, having suicidal thoughts in the past, having not much motivation and complaining about every little thing that goes wrong, being clingy and not being able to stay on her own because she doesn't know what to do with herself and not to forget getting easily jealous). He has issues too (severe panic attacks where he locks himself away in rooms at home or in public toilets trying to calm down, thinking that his life has no purpose anyway, listening to everyone’s problems while trying to ignore and suppress his own). Now he doesn't like to hear critic from anyone and brushes it off as if only he knows what is right and how the situation is while view friends, even acquaintances see that something is just not right. Sometimes he even knows that the critic is not wrong and how he acts is not cool but he does it anyway since he thinks his live isn't that important anyway.

I don't know how long he can handle living like this and I fear that once this relationship is over he'll kill himself since he revealed a lot about himself to her and they knew each other the longest as opposite to the other relationships. Now if something happens I can't rush over since I live about 1300 miles away from him. Everyone keeps telling me I should just break off the contact since he neglects friends when he is in a relationship anyway and he needs to learn that lessons since acting like that is simply shitty. The thing is... Many times I do not agree with how he acts but I just think he adapted a bad thinking pattern because of his low self-esteem and need for acceptance and isn't that much of a bad guy inside. He matters to me and I do not want to give up on him as a human being and friend even if his behavior truly pisses me off from time to time.

Now I try to keep in loose contact so I do not annoy him but I still try to contact him at least every three weeks and then seriously ask how he is doing and how things are going at the moment. In between I share some funny memes I have on my phone or tell him a short funny situation that happened to me that day or ask him serious questions when I think something is going down the drain at the moment. I'm a brutality honest person and try to find a balance between being honest, telling him when something is not okay, giving support but also space and not being harsh.

If some of you have any advice I'd love to hear it. It’s just that I don’t know what the best way to handle stuff like this is. Thanks for reading this long story.

I think there are only two choice
1. Not letting their relationship break
2. Try to fix his mental issues so he won't kill himself when they break up
Imo option number 2 is the best,he can't live like that forever. Maybe you can try to make him to have some hobbies that suit him and he will love so much,a hobby of life that will make he thinks if he died, he can't do that fun things anymore. And maybe it'll make him to stop looking for girlfriend so he won't getting hurt from love anymore. Just introduce some fun things to do to him! Having no purpose in life is one of the cause of suicide.
Btw,what about his family? you can ask their help too right?

His whole family is abusive (not only mentaly) so they aren't an option. The problem is that relationships consume him to the point where he is giving a lot of himself up and would even compromise a part of his personality to stay together with the "love of his life". He has some hobbies he loves but he'd reduce them to a minimum if his girl (who ever she'd be) would expect that of him to be her boyfriend.

I also tell him I always have a friendly ear no matter what time it is (I'm leaving my phone on 24/7. I know its not healthy so I put it not directly next to me but still in my room) to make sure that no matter what happens he knows someone supports him. Sadly I do not have my own flat yet otherwise I'd tell him that he could always come here. I also thought about saving some money for a long distance bus and a cheap hostel so I can come over for a view days when I don't have school. We both aren't teenagers anymore which makes it on one hand easier but also harder since we both do not have much support.

Have you try to talk to them about their son? Or his cousin/brother/aunt etc? If they give you help,it'll make everything easier
And how about living together with him? That way you can always know his current situation and you also can hide sharp things and rope to prevent suicide

If you know where the person lives you can call their local police department directly and ask an officer to go to their home and make sure everything is alright, alternatively, if you can contact the school they go to and tip-off the administration about a possible suicide attempt, they'll have to speak with the student via the school counselor. Outside of that, there are a lot of things you could do to indirectly influence a person's surroundings. You have a lot more power you realize just by being implemented in the person's life. Be creative and courageous and do what needs to be done to keep your friend safe if you really believe that your friend is in danger.

>>5 yes, I've tried to talk to his aunt and uncle because his parents do not take the situation serious (They think he is just a little wayward brat) but his uncle and aunt do not know him too well like they understand each other but they do not talk about too much personal stuff. I guess in an emergency situation I could rely on them but not when it comes to emotional support. Living together is not possible since he can barely pay his little rental flat and the homeowner is a prick so he'd most likely throw him out because he isn't too fond of having young, poor people in his house and then he would have nowhere to go since he doesn't earn much which he fears a lot. That's why I started to work outside of school so I could take a cheap hostel near his place(just as an excuse if needed) to stay there and help him out if possible. I've thought about getting a driver license next spring so I would just live and sleep in the car if needed.

>>6 I know where he lives so contacting the school should work as well as calling the police. I just need to get the phone number but that shouldn't be too much of a problem. We've seen each other 3 times in person already so it should work I guess. I thought about writing cards/real letter to special days, playing online games and talking over TeamSpeak or planning events together (like watching a football team/band/play or so together in person to always have something to look forward to).I just hope he doesn’t break off the contact with those view people who care, critic sometimes and are close to him since most of the time he does that when a girl comes along or when something bad is happening.

Thank you very very much for replying and giving advice. It truly means a lot to me.

Sounds to me that he's kind of suicidal. Well here's the thing. If he wants to kill himself," Think about what you will lose and gain."
And about the girl. The reason why she's like that is because she feels scared. She feels as if she is going to lose your friend, so she's feeling kinda a little bit jealous. Usually in this problem you can just convince the girl that she is never gonna lose your friend. They should fight to be alive, not to kill themselves just because they think that life is cheap.
You Only Have One Life, So Make it Count !
You know, we're humans. We make mistakes. But we learn from it. Throwing his life away is a permanent solution. People thinks that he's okay, but the truth is.... He's suffering. whats worse than death? suffering/ torturing. You should support him when he needs help..
If your friend need help, you can just send me messages.
Kik: BooWd
Whatsapp 62 813 1888 6338
Line: wolfdragon7

I'll be happy to be helping people, especially even when they're desperate.

>>8 Telling him "Think about what you will lose and gain" isn't easy. The problem there is his kind of thinking pattern sometimes. He’s like "I've always been a nice, calm and caring person who endured everything and tried to life a good life. But where did it get me? Nowhere. I'm good at school? So what, no one cares about that quality of me. I'm talented at singing and playing bass? Most consider me crazy and pretentious when I talk about stuff like that. The way I am I do not fit in. My head wasn't really wired for this world, no one wants to stay by my side because my qualities aren't worth a damn and if some like me now they’d would hate me after a while of being together because that’s just how life is for me. So why should I still take care of myself."

The problem with the girl is that she is getting so clingy that he has barely any contact to other people. And then, if something is not okay, he usually feels bad for neglecting others (but does come back to them) but is too afraid of seeking help because he feels bad for letting the others down and doesn’t want to bother them. It's kind of a spiral if you know what I mean. But too much contact in this love phase of a relationship pushes him away as well so finding a balance is really difficult. Please do not get me wrong, I understand him as well as that girl but I believe getting consumed entirely by the partner and focusing only on the other without thinking of your own needs is not healthy in the long run. Like I said I live far away so I can’t have a relaxed conversation with the girl to calm her down a bit.

Thank you for offering help. If you don’t mind me asking do you have any suggestions on how I can stay in close contact with him without pushing him away or making him feel like I do not care? I know he is suffering (most of the time in episodes)that's why this is so important to me. We both aren’t found of Facebook and preferred to keep stuff more privet so tagging and stuff isn’t really our thing.

Hmm. I especially hate people who says bad things because they're jealous.

He is good at what he do most things, and people call him names. Why? Because they need someone to talk about. Someone they're jealous of. Just say that it's a human thing to do.

I had this problem once, and even though I'm not your friend, I just ignore them. They love to see your reaction when they call you names. What infuriates them more? Getting no reaction. I'll go all smarty mouth when they call me names.
Like: You're such a dick.
Me: If i'm a dick, should i dress up like a dick? Condoms and balls? Hmm. I'ma gonna look good in a mushroom vest.

Well it works for me. All you have to do (when they keep on calling you names and you ignore them but they never stop) is to give them public humiliation. Smart mouth works well.

About the girl...
Do you know the reason why the girl is getting clingy? And if I may ask, what type of clingyness. There's the desperate one, and the gold-digger one.
Desperate: The girl knows that something bad is going to happen, and its going to happen to either her, your friend, or those around her. Maybe she just wants to spend her "remaining time" with her loved ones?
Gold Digger: She just wants something that only he has.Can be anything. Money. Popularity. Stuff like that.

I do agree that its not healthy for someone to pay attention to someone else instead of he himself. He sounds like a person that will sacrifice anything for his loved ones. I don't know much in this area, but I suggest you to try and lose the burden? You might get the girl's contact and talk to her about what's happening with your friend. If she still is the way she was before (clingy), then I think that her clingy-ness shows the gold digger side.

Close contact... Skype? XD

well the main point is: Make him distracted. As in invite him into online games that he finds interesting? or maybe something that he likes. He probably don't find himself uncomfortable with the girl, but make sure he knows that you're concerned about his health and the state he is in now.

Good Luck JustSomeoneWhoWantsToHelp XD! Hope he gets better!

"Person that will sacrifice anything" is quite a good description.
I'd say she's a little bit of both but more on the Gold Digger side. He'd do anything she want's. Buying expensive stuff and taking her to expensive places she couldn't and wouldn't want to pay for (he really hasn't got that much money too so he limits his needs to give her more). If she needed attention because she is bored of all her spare time (sounds funny but it's like that) he'd come over to her house and neglect school to the point of nearly failing a subject.

To many people he hangs out with his kind personality is a useful tool and a "steppingstone" to a more relaxed, more carefree and better life. She, for example, always expects him to do something if she helped him with something by expressing underlying wishes for something she desires (see above). I don't know if he really doesn't see it or if he just doesn't want to see it. I've witnessed it in person last time I went to the cinema with him and his friends (June, since right now I only have the money to come over twice a year and living in different countries doesn't make it easier). Anyway, I just hope he somehow is able to recover one day.

Thanks for all the suggestions guys and girls, I hope it'll all turn out alright. XD

Hmm..do you think by making your friend thinks that she is a bad person,it will make them break up without suicide?

I do think its possible, but thres a high chance that he's going to act with emotions. Which, i think, will be very bad.