Hmm not really. If your friends won't talk to you after you push away, Im not sure if they're "true friends." After all, my friend in sydney experienced the same thing. i would suggest you to make a small group of friends first, just 1 or two in it. Then if you feel pressured, share it to your friends. if youre friends ignore you, however, know that we're here for you >.<.. if you need more advices, Line me at
wolfdragon7 ^.^

Aw thanks ^_^ at all honesty, I'm too much of a coward to tell them that. It makes me scared that I might lose them, or other. It's because I never got angry, and I bottled it in and kept a smile when I was with my friends. I did nothing but to act kind around them, so I don't know if they will act differently.

If they are good friends then tell them why you need time for yourself from time to time and why you isolate yourself. Wearing a mask/fake smile is draining so it is, in my opinion, understandable to kind of isolate oneself when everying is overhelming because you don't want to lose that mask in front of others out of fear that the'd abandon you. That might be a cause for it but I don't know a lot about you so I can just assume.

However, talk to at least one friend you can truly trust because botteling everything up inside is, at least in the long run, not a healthy coping mechanism. What I'll say naxt might sound a little harsh but if the friend(s) with whom you talk about what puts you down leave you becaue you're not the perfect intact smiling mask they aren't friends but only acquaintance with whom you can have fun from time to time but back off when things get tough and can't be trusted. Because 1. nobody can be happy all the time, who says that is lying and 2. little quirks that don't harm others are probably those little things that make a person kind of cool too. You aren't a peaople pleaser and aren't obligated to be nice all the time. If you think something is not okey caou can perfectly say that but not in a harsh manner if it's possible. You have to take care of yourself too from time to time too ya know.

I like to think it helps if you put a bit of effort to see your closest friends even just now and then. Try to open up even just a little and try to gauge from that.
I'm sure that even if you have a lot of friends, there are definitely some you're more comfortable around than others...? Personally I find that it's these kinds of people who help you out through life's little slumps and whatnot.

I can't really say the behavior will change completely, but at the very least with the right people around you, times like this won't be as troublesome to deal with.

That's just my own two cents on the matter tho. I'm kind of in a similar situation, except I've got a very small circle of friends.

In any case, I hope you can get past this hurdle! ^^
If you need (net)friends to talk to, we'll all be here~

Things don't just change. If you want it to change, you have to change it. You don't get to flip a lightswitch and expect everything to change from one day to the next. You gotta take initiative.

Say sorry to the people you pushed if that doesn't work you can always run away go to another school and make a new start or if not stop caring about them