When I found out I had this mental disease I kept it from my parents. I didnt want anyone worrying, that's why I'm posting it here where they would never know.
I told my boyfriend about it. I expect him to understand me and all, but he just cant. I get more disappointed everyday, but i still love him anyways.
Before we became together I knew he was a player, he had many girls when we started dating. I didnt mind it at first but now that it's been 1 year I asked him his passwords and re-read all their conversation again, then I got furious. I hit him with a vase his head bled so bad, slowly Im feeling more and more insane, one moment everything's alright, then a minute later I wanna kill him for every small mistake he makes. I think I need help.

If your parents are understanding people, go to them! Bipolarity is a serious disorder that needs attention from a professional. If you can't trust anyone close to you, go to a website called 7 cups (http://www.7cups.com/211345035)

Good luck and remember that you are not troubling anyone by telling them about this. You're only hurting yourself by keeping a tight lid on it

Go to a doctor, you can't really diagnose yourself.

You don't ask people their passwords mate. That's so rude. And, when you started dating, you knew he was a player and you knew he would have other girls that he liked to hang out with (or more but for now I'll just assume a pretty good scenario). You also can't self-diagnose bipolar disorder. Also, hitting him on the head with a vase is assault. Go to a doctor, get a diagnosis, then go to a therapist or get a medication.

I already have been diagnosed. I had bipolarity through childhood, in ph they dont really have programs or mental health helps. Yeah it was assault i know that, he forgave me, but i know im getting worse that's why i need some help

See a doctor and if there's one person or group you can trust it's definitely family it's ironic how you trust your boyfriend more than your parents, as said you told your boyfriend your secret but not your family. No matter who you are your family will accept because you are there responsibility and priority, and of course loves you. Try telling your parent your secret it don't have to be only you and your boyfriend carrying this burden and plus as you said his a player he might leave you anytime soon, I'm sure you and your parents will find a way
Izaya: I simply switch the faith from there boyfriend or family to me to create a fan club that praises
Your faith with your boyfriend rather than family try to have faith in them, after all you been with them your entire life unlike your boyfriend that you met just one year ago

>>6 Its not uncommon to keep some things secret from parents, especially if you are used to bad reactions to non-conformity.
Plus you cant choose your family. If your family is shit you cant do much about it. But you can choose your boyfriend.

My parents find me annoying and they dont have much time for me all they do is work. When they get home they would either hit me or scold me and the next morning they would apologize because they are stressed. I have a boyfriend because Im searching for the love they could never give me.

Hitting you seems pretty harsh,how hard do they do it,like a hard punch, a slap,or with a cane. Maybe you could talk to them at night or something or talk to your friends. Also hitting him on the vase was probably too much,he could've gotten a concussion. Maybe if you take some pills it can help you. Try getting some good hobbies like maybe videogames,books,hiking,sports,ect.

There was thus once dad kept kicking me until i coughed out blood. Mom once hit me with a plywood on the back.

Atleast you came to this family. We love you and we don't owe you anything, you are freaking out and that is the bigest problem. I don't know your boyfreind but if he was a player, a hole year seems prety long. He might have played but a year and after uou hit him to blead and he is with you. He might love you the most out of this world. Make him everything and show him you are sorry. It might be the best thing you do to him.

You do need help and I understand your feelings. Screw telling them honestly, if they care once you tell them sounds pretty dumb to me like it should make a difference. I can tell you this I have cancer and my parents don't even know bc I really think they should've paid more mind if they really care and was sorry. Plus about your bf yeah you were wrong to hit him bc you knew he was a player but at least he apologies and I really think you shouldn't find love from someone like him. If you want attention that bad find someone who will give that to you without asking. I think you just need a more sweet of an affection that you're looking for that fits to your liking. Don't kill ok, as much I like about it too it won't help you. The thought at least can but the action not really as good as it seems. Just go to the doctors, I'm literally in a very similar position but I'm not sure what I have yet but tend to get nervous breakdowns that I can't function really. I never knew how serious it was either but mental sickness and stability is very important. take care.

Ok Wait a second >>12. You have cancer and you havent told your parents or did I just read that rong? You can't tell if someone has cancer and they might care but you need to tell then anyways even if they don't.