I'm not good with words, or knowing what to do, but I feel like I had to ask this, even if it doesn't end up being a question.

The scenario is that you draw a circle around yourself. You make a very clear line between yourself and other people, and keep everything about you inside of the circle. You are alone, and won't let anyone else come into this circle you've drawn around yourself.

But as much as you push everyone away, and keep them outside of the line you've drawn around yourself, you really want there to be someone else with you inside the circle. But not just anyone, but someone who belongs within this same circle as you.

You don't want to leave your circle, and just become another person in the world, but you know that you can't survive alone either.

Does anyone understand what I mean when I say this? Does anyone feel the same way in a way? And does anybody know what to say in response to this?

I know I asked a strange question, in a strange way, but this world can be strange sometimes, and saying what you need to isn't always as simple as it should be.

Thank you for reading.

We're all inside the same circle with the same thoughts as you.

What I've done is sit inside my own little circle and look at everything in it. I had to ask myself why it matters that someone might think less of me because of whats in my circle. They aren't me - I am me. I am the only one who has to live with me for the rest of my life, no matter who comes or goes, no matter who i let in or push away. And if someone I try to trust and let in ends up hurting me, that's my fault, not theirs.

So I gather all my quirks and characteristics, my wishes and aspirations, my darkest thoughts and fetishes, my pride and my insecurity, my preferences and moral values, all of these things, and I just look at it for a while.

Then something happens. After an objective observation of the thing I call 'Me', I realize how silly it is to worry about it one way or the other.

Its silly to worry that people will judge you or hurt you because of who you are. People judge and are judged everyday, not that it makes it OK to do, but there is certainly no validity to their deductions. Their use of brain power to judge or to hurt you is not only downright remedial, its an act of avoiding the spotlight being put on the dark parts their own circle.

It's silly to worry that you won't survive being alone either, because you're never alone. this experience of actually being alone doesn't exist. What exists is a veil of illusion between you and everyone else. Its a hype; a game that your mind plays with you. If you allow your reality to be defined by your thoughts, you get these types of neurosis.

All that being said - what matters is how YOU feel about what is in your circle. If you truly LOVE your circle and everything in it, including yourself - then your circle begins to expand, without effort or concern.

if you would like to discuss this further in private, you can contact me @ omverse.dollars@gmail.com

The problem with drawing a circle around myself is that I can find it hard to understand things that are outside of my circle. And the reverse is that the things that make sense to me here, inside of this circle, might not make much sense to the rest of the world that's outside of it.

How does one see someone who has drawn a clear line to separate themselves from the rest of the world? Do people assume that they're "just like everyone else"? Do people look at them as if they are an alien? Or do people simply say that they don't understand, for they don't exist within that circle?

You could say that I have a problem, but it's a problem that only makes sense within this circle I'm in. I'm not in need of "a friend" or to be cheered up. I don't need encouragement, or any usual advice that people would give.

But I don't know what it is that I'm after, which is why this is a problem.

In a way, I'm hoping for something unexpected, something different. If I had a plan, or could see further down the path, then I would have a vague idea, but life isn't usually like that. We're lost in the dark, with no idea what's going on.

But now that I've given many strange impressions, and reasons for misunderstandings and misinterpretation to occur, I will leave it at that for now.

The idea of an email kind of makes sense, but I wouldn't recommend it unless you truly have something to say. People like to talk, so even when no one has anything to say, I feel like people might just talk anyway.
But if emailing is better, then I'm game, but keep in mind that I am someone who lives in a different world.

someone.yet.to.have.a.name@gmail.com

I know what you mean. Its not about going into the circle of someone else or letting someone else into your circle. Its about taking both circles and sharing them. It takes a lot of trust, sometimes more so (for example when you have secrets, are vulnerable in certain ways or have self doubt), but its worth it. Or at least so I hope since despite efforts on my side noone wanted to get that close to me yet for one reason or another.

Who says there ever needs to be a circle at all? If you're inclined to wanting company, you should invite as many friendly faces you can, because see; even if they turn out to be terrible people you've involved yourself with, then that's just the experience needed to narrow the kind of people you're really comfortable around. Let that experience be your circle, not fear.

Very similar to how Anri looked at those around her as though she was looking through a camera with a smeared lens.
How you feel isn't incorrect. I hate to be a "these damn millennials" kind of person, but nowadays no one has secrets. Every personal interaction or thought they've ever had is put up on social media, and I feel like that makes people's self-worth deteriorate.

So for now just kind of chill out, but don't purposefully distance yourself from others because you think you're different. People will surprise you; you never know how actually similar they are to you.

so in the end you do want people to befriend you but whats stopping, is it because your afraid to talk to them, or you dont like any of them to be your friend because you dont like their characteristic. if the case was the first one simple solution is that man up and open your circle but if the case was the second one well thats hard i guess the only thing you can do is to atleast try to befriend someone know them and if you dont like them pretend nothing happened and find another one :). In other words befriend someone if you dont like him that much just position him/her as an acquintance, never give up in the never ending war of socializing

>>7
The general fear of letting anyone in is that by doing so, you will inevitably be hurt.
The OP is essentially concerned over letting too much in at once and has always originally planned to someday disperse of their circle. It's a literal rip from Chrona's mental seclusion from Soul Eater- until Maka shows them it's completely okay to.
-because yes, you will get hurt, but you will most definitely regret not having had the experience that is pain nor bliss. You need those feelings to live contently. Contently in knowing they're there- and that's not to say the fear is irrational in the slightest. One doesn't simply "Grow a pair and get over it". Especially in cases of anxiety and depression.
Just look where you are.. The Dollars site; one made through the influence of an anime which literally revolves around such issues. None of us would be here if we didn't agree or at the least find it's morale interesting.
See- the world isn't as bad it seems, that's true, but it takes a hell of a lot more than those words to let it sink in.

I'm impressed that there is someone out there who isn't only feeling as I do but also able to describe it in words. Though, my point of view is a lil bit different. I have two circles araound me and its quite easy to enter and leave the outer one, but I keep everyone outside the inner circle. There, I'm alone. That way, nobody can dissapoint me, I simply change him

>>9 I never knew that I was doing a similar thing to what you're doing until I read your post. It's fascinating to me because now that I've had some time to think about it, I feel like my inner circle is already sort-of full. It's weird to describe it, but I imagine it as having all of my friends in my outer circle and just the ghost of my closest friends in my inner circle.

>>4 I agree.

>>8 Please don't put words in my mouth. I'm pretty sure that you have the wrong idea of me here.

>>9 Outer circle... I think you helped me find another way of explaining this so you have my thanks.

I guess the whole point of my scenario, is that I got rid of my outer circle in a way. It just kept expanding and becoming thinner and thinner until everyone exists in my outer circle, and is looked upon as the same. The circle itself has gotten so thin that you can't even see it anymore, and the significance of what I was asking in my op is that there is only one circle with me. So it's become an all or nothing scenario with me, where you can't be any closer to me than anyone else unless you're inside my inner circle and mean that much to me.

As to why I did this, the idea is that I'm a really complicated person. In order to understand what I'm like, you need to see everything in order to get the right idea of things. If people just see bits and pieces, then I will just be misunderstood, and people will get the wrong idea. I wouldn't be surprised if people think that everyone's like this, but in my case, it's gotten to the point where I'm too complicated to "just be me" to everyone. Does that make any sense? Everything I say, in a way, is incomplete, which makes me always wonder if what I say will actually make sense or will just cause more misunderstandings about me.
One shouldn't do things halfheartedly, you could say.


If you all want more reasons to misunderstand me then I can continue. In the end, I chose to draw this circle around me but in a way it's part of what makes me who I am. It's never been about fear of meeting people or being worried that I can't make friends. In a way, it's an extreme disinterest in other people.

Light shines brighter in the darkness. Someone close to you means so much more to you when everyone else is far away. And having only one person who it can work with makes it special.

It's hard to say what I am isn't it? Am I selfish? Am I apathetic? Am I after meaning and significance or being picky? Am I being realistic or stupid? I choose to be alone, and push everyone away, yet ask for a close friend. I drew a line that other's can't cross, yet ask for someone to join me inside. Am I a paradox? Or is a more accurate word "contradictory"?

If people continue to post then I will respond if they read my posts. I am only here because there were a lot more posts than I expected.

I'm like you, in a circle, but I think I'm a square instead.
I live the normal, average life. I barely surprise anyone yet I stay away from everyone.
Maybe one day I'll find someone who can see my square and destroy it,
Not today tho,
_Myself

>>12 you'll just wait instead of doing something about it, i guess it doesnt matter to you that much does it