Hey guys. So I think I'm living in my friend's shadow a bit. In our sport, he's always winning, and I'm always taking second and third place. He has a girlfriend (who I also consider a close friend) while I'm single. He is acknowledged by everyone as one of the best, while I only get the pity talks as to why I didn't win. Don't get me wrong. He is one of my best friends if not the best and I would take a bullet for him and I know for a fact he would do the same. We've been through so much together, including the unfortunate passing of my mother. It's just that, ever since I lost on Saturday, I just feel inadequate when compared to not just him but the other people who consistently win all the time. Again, I am not hating or anything as we'll always be the best of friends. But do any of you guys feel this, I guess jealousy, towards your friends and how do you deal with it? Or am I just being petty?

A friend once stabbed me in the back because of something quite similar. Don't be a backstabber, stick with your friend ^^ I guess it is perfectly normal to feel jealous. I'd try to take it as a motivation to one day be equally as good or even better than him. I'm also sure that you could talk about that with him, as long as you are not being insulting, which I am sure you wouldn't be. Keep your head up. :)

I agree with >>2

don`t let the feeling of jealous control you and lose your mind and put you down but redirect this bad feeling and make it a reason for you to get better and don`t hate a friend who stood with you when you was down . good luck with live and we are here to help ! .

>>2 I would never stab him in the back. And yeah I do try to use it as motivation. It's just hard sometimes. Thanks!
>>3 I never have hated him and will never hate him. He stood with me through so much and is the reason I even started competing in the first place. He has done so much for me and that is also what kind of hurts me. The fact that he has done so much for me and I feel as if I haven't done much for him. That's also why I get upset when I lose. I feel like I let him down even though he put so much time into helping me. It makes me feel as if I'm not doing my part in the friendship. Of course, when I compete, I compete to win and I think of nothing else but the task at hand. But when I lose I just feel like "wow, he's disappointed in me". Whether he thinks that is not in my control, and during the rides back he always tells me how I did better than last time and how he used to lose too. He's a great person and I just feel like I don't quite measure up. Thanks though guys! It's just hard.

You're two different persons so don't compare yourself. It's pretty normal to be jealous, I'm like that sometimes. Lol. Don't worry, there will come a time for you to shine, maybe not now, but someday! :) You could excel somewhere else different from your friend, don't worry

Always do your best don't get discourage b/c you feel like you have to catch up, feeling of left behind or needing to prove anything. Everyone hard work pays off and maybe your friend is just really good at competing and has the heart to be motivated to get that far. He probably does a lot too since so many does look up to him. If you want to same you have to think about your training, diet and even resting can be a very important thing ppl naturally need to be prepared. To you, you see him as a worthy opponent that's why you're feeling this way b/c you want to win and you can. Your mindset needs that push so you can regain the energy to pass him and win. Don't think its too late and even if he wins still feel proud of him it's good show you can accept defeat and will work harder. If you want why don't you train with him too it might make you feel better b/c he won't judge you but help you too. You shouldn't feel bad about yourself bc compared to the others you're still better and have a higher likely to get better out of the other people. If you feel like your friend done a lot try seeing you can help him with anything since you feel like you're not much help. You can do whatever out of kindness to help someone bc you want to.

That reminds me of Ronald Weasley.

Ive felt the same way. You don't have to be like your friend or better than him trust me having a girlfriend/boyfriend and being popular and all that doesn't make you a winner. Go to college have a career prove all the haters wrong succeed in life and even if people think you're worthless they don't matter. You should know you are a winner prove them wrong

Heya....!! Your story remind to me a bit. I am little like you. I have a best friend. I really really loves her. Like you, i found that she is soo much great than me. In the study, sosiety, and she is a good talker when you be friend with her. Sometimes, i feel envy to her, and scared that i am not a good friend. I feel really bad. But when i think it over and over, i found that my feeling is a proof that i really love her (in a friend way, of course)
So i clear my mind that time. I wanna walk same path with her. Now, i see her not just a great and best friend to me but my great rival too. Isn`t that make easy to live on?? I can keep close to her and i can rival her. It is wonderfull, right??~


#Anddd sorry for a long talking and bad grammar (tehee ^^ )

Thanks guys. I've been trying harder than ever to catch up to him! Whether I compete this weekend (I hurt my foot and knee) is still to be decided, but when the time comes, I'm going to prove him, everyone, and myself that I AM a winner. Wish me luck, guys! Thanks again!
I'm also open to more suggestions!

I get it your envious, jealous most people take it out by hating the person or ruining there good name that why when people think of a person who's jealous as a bad thing but it's not, there's no problem of being envious the thing is if you want something that he has you should instead work harder to obtain that as well, even if you fail to do so be happy if what you already reach be content . You did watch the anime Durarara mikado wasn't content with his ordinary life so persuade to get an extraordinary life but he failed everything that was extraordinary became ordinary so he chose to be content in an ordinary life

I am going through this same problem with my best friend. I worked really hard for 3 years to get a position on varsity for an activity that we're both in, and this year she got one exactly like it just because of her reputation. I love her as a friend, but it's difficult being friends with someone who has a boyfriend when I don't, is more successful, and is more popular.
Long story short, I understand what you're going through. It's not fun.

Find an activity that you're in and he's not in, an activity where you each have to have different roles, a certain class he's not taking, or make friends with someone outside your group. For all you know, he feels the same way about you and by competing against each other you're just wearing each other out. Plus you need to find ways to differentiate yourself from him. You're not just "so-and-so's best friend." There are things that only you can do.

Or maybe you should train together for the sport you're in?

>>13 I train with him all the time. He's one of my best friends if not my best friend. He's always helping me out and encouraging me. In practice, when we go serious, he beats me bad. A lot of my techniques are from him. It's just that, like people have said, that I do see him as a rival as well and I want to win a lot too. I do have other hobbies, such as video games, that I'm better than him at. But this sport, which is jiu-jitsu for anyone asking, is what I really want to succeed at and be acknowledged for.

i actually had quite the inferiority complex with my best friend for a few years in highschool.

All i can say is to remember that your inherent worth as a person comes not from recognition from others, nor physical capability, nor social skill, nor luck or anything else that could be compared to another person.

Remember that you are YOU and that no matter what nobody will compare to you simply in the fact that no other version of you has ever existed or will ever exist. It can be easy to feel small in a world full of people but no matter what remember that your worth comes from within and it is something no person can ever take from you. I think that the people who find true happiness in this world are those who are able to accept that and face every situation knowing that there is something that only they can offer simply being being themselves and being confident in that. In other words, do what makes you happy and work to believe that you are the best version of yourself. I really hope this helps, i know its not easy but little reminders and personal baby steps in cognitive restructuring go a long way.

It's pretty amazing how you are able to keep practicing and try to catch up to your friend. I think hard work itself is an extremely diffucult skill, so the fact that you are able to be motivated to keep chasing after you goal is admirable. From just seeing that I think your character is no less than your friend's. Jealousy is an emotion that you can't really control, but you can control how you act on that jealousy. Good luck with your practice ^^

Of course I'd be jealous too. You can be jealous towards the best of people, and the ones that are dear to you.

But the jealousy should be a good type. Not the bad type where you want to have that ability/thing INSTEAD of your friend having it. The good jealousy would be wanting to have that ability/thing too, but wanting to attain it through your own means.

When you have good jealousy, it's your natural instinct to have a healthy competition, and you should go for it. But don't let the idea of *competition* overcome you.

I'm glad you're feeling more better. I wish you the best in your sport and don't forget to you do it bc you like it as well and this is what you want to do so do it. You both can share the glory rivaling up b/c I can't lie it sounds pretty cool. As a person you sound like a cool hard working person to be getting belittle like that. You keep working hard ok.