I have been born with a speech disorder, graduating further and further from the rest of society as time went on. In 4th grade, I had read every book in my school's library that interested me to any extent. I got a Nintendo DS through a School Competition later than that, and never did as well as other people at games. I had enjoyed video games back then, but now I don't think I do enjoy video games anymore, although I am currently interested in developing them.
To some extent, I think that this has become a Inferiority Complex, and I don't think I will do the right thing the majority of the time anymore. I have screamed at animals, and wanted to cry at recordings of myself talking so that I could improve my speech, it is truthfully pathetic.
I have lost interest in fiction for the most part, and I am losing interest in Nonfiction as well. Instead of actually reading through textbooks, I have started to page through them, for example.
I have an abundant amount of anger and nowhere for it to go but out, and I fear the ways it may surface over time. I am happy at others' failures and at society's cruelties such as others failing a test I succeeded at or laughing at the simple fact of the Missouri State's Government keeping cigarette taxes low in order to make the maximum profit from a Economics Textbook, although this only causes me to hate myself more, I honestly don't know what to do, as I can't see anything better than staying as bad as I am as my most likely path, if not becoming worse. I hate Pity to the point I hate myself for hating the person who pities me.
I honestly don't know how to change at this point, but the truth is, I fear some part of me might not care if I could change, even now, posting this anonymously on a unknown forums site, I don't want to post it.

Everyone honestly has speech disorder or in short stage fright.Everyone gets nervous, some just dont show it, or some is just not to that extent.I have also cried crying because i couldnt make my speech right and I honestly think that im a very bad person. not entirely but mostly. I look down at people alot and laugh at them for the same matter. I look down on people when i see them make very dumb decisions and tend to laugh in their face too. I trashtalk them in my mind. Slowly judgingand torturing them in my mind. I have a very twisted attitude (thats what my mom told me).Looks can be deceiving . And it is true to be proven by me. I always smile at people and things which i am smiling for no reasons. But things that come out off my mouth doesnt match my smile. I happen to just smile because its easier. Why? Well look at it like this. Whatś easier, to be liked by everyone or to be hated by everyone. I honestly feel tired of smiling. Now this topic is kind of off topic from the first one im talking about but whatever

>>2
You can't actually compare a general speech disorder that one has tried to overcome for years to specific stage fright.

-_- you're a sadist, a person who likes to see others hurt, like you said you like looking at others failure or corruption but the thing is I feel I'm somewhat similar about you losing interest in reality. You're just looking for a place you would belong and since it seems that no one around you is of interest you lost interest in reality. You lost interest in fiction because you hate the stories. But probably in some place you could find someone that would interest you bringing you back to reality and if not find a fiction story book that gives you interest to fiction. In short the problem is that you lack adrenaline, a feeling of excitement at the things you do, keep on searching the world there is bound to be something that would make you happy live to the finest. The world is bigger than you think it's impossible that everything in this world you gave them all up already

Ok, you were born with a problem, that happens, your anger is you not your impediment, you choose to be angry, you can be happy with your life now but you're too busy angry about your past and not moving on, you seem introverted because of it, and that's bad, and with your love of books, have you ever thought about writing, it might help, just write down your story, then keep writing, don't let your anger become you.

all of my r's sound like w's and I can't say words with a R and a L next to each other. it is because of my freakishly long tongue and the fact that my mind moves a lot faster than my mouth can move so my sentences get mixed up and sometimes I start saying one word but end saying another. you are too focoused on what you can't do. It only limits you when you let it.

to explain what I mean I can't say girl or things like do a barrel role. it is only annoying when people try to fix it.

Man, just don't care about anyone but yourself and enjoy your life to the fullest.

>>8 I agree.
Honestly if you want happiness you have to learn how to accept yourself over than changing. If something makes you happy do what makes you happy and live to the best of it. Everyone have flaws so don't be hard on yourself. Just be careful in certain actions being taken in case you hurt someone that's all.