Hey guys. I'm a real piece of s#%t. It's been a little over a month since my mom died and things have been up and down. My dad and I have a very rocky relationship as of late and today I just flipped out. A lot of times when I ask my dad something or tell him something, he gets so angry and starts cursing at me. I know he doesn't mean it, but today I just didn't want to hear it. After our fight, I told him that I wished he died instead of my mom. Yeah, I know. I'm a real piece of s#%t. We are apologizing through text messages, but I told him that I don't want to talk to him for the rest of the day. What should I do now? This is something that I'll have to live with for the rest of my life.

i don't think you will live with it for the rest of your life, things probably will settle down... for what you should do now? i think you should grab your favorite book/something you like, make some tea/favorite drink and read/watch/etc. whatever you have and trust me after that you wont feel so bad and maybe you'll get on good terms with your father

I agree with the above. And, without knowing the relationship you had with your family specifically, I will try to speak with the best of my ability to help.

Do whatever it takes for you to be able to move on and turn your mothers passing into a means for growth. Don't let it tear you down, and don't let other peoples reactions to the situation tear you down either - regardless of who they are.

Don't let his or even your anger dishonor her life.

That's a personal endeavor, certainly, so as for your relationship with your Father... It seems like he needs some time to ensure that it doesn't tear him down either. I'm certain at this point the last thing he wants is for his relationship with his son to be destroyed.

If you have the strength, be patient with him, and try your best to be independent and take care of yourself. This is your journey.

You can grieve as much as you need to, and you can always hold onto the memory of your mother without shame or much difficulty. A the same time, know that it doesn't help you to be filled with self-pity or thoughts of what was or what could have been.

Here and Now has no place for the past. Here and Now is for today, and Here and Now you can grow into having a purpose for helping others to overcome the loss of their loved ones.

For starter try telling your dad that your sorry, that you acted of impulse and that you need to talk. And say to him that you love him but his been acting very angry lately after mom died. Say without being loud, say this softly. I'm pretty much sure he got the idea that he was acting quite stupid when you said that. So also try making him see someone related to your him Like his father, mother or brother so that he can Think more clearly. And try giving him some space until his ready to enter society once again