I'm stuck in a lose/lose situation. If I try to do good in school, I become overwhelmed and the pressure builds. One simple mistake now leads to an anxiety attack, and I can't stop thinking about how useless I am. On the other hand, if I try to relax the way I always have, I won't be anxious but I just become super depressed and I sink into myself. I want to do good in school and make up for the fuck ups in the past but I don't know if it's worth ruining myself over.

Try to get a nice simple hobby that you can relax to while not getting too attached that it doesn't get in the way of studies, also what grade are you in, how bad did you mess up inn the past, have you talked to anyone else? You are not forced to answer these.

Whoops, sorry for the late response
I'm in 11th grade and I used to always get C's or lower - a B to me, was an A. I have been trying to paint and read more but I either end up losing motivation or I get restless (which is a little out of the ordinary)

Well do you do all your work and get proficient grades on tests? Talking to friends can be a hobby to or just talking online. Sorry I can't relate much schools always been easy honorable for me

Try budgeting your time a time to relax and a time to study and do projects. If you feel tired from reading take a little nap or do something relaxing then later on continue your study this way you won't get stress because your actions are organize

And also I'm proud of you, you said when you lay down you feel depressed meaning because you never achieve anything (sorry for being harsh) you finally realize that you are searching for your purpose in life, but the problem is that you get depressed every time you lay down you lack a certain virtue which is being patient, you will get a chance to fulfill or find your purpose just wait, during laying down try looking up and imagining what you want to achieve and how it will feel if you achieved it. I've experience this before the main cause of anxiety is impatience.... maybe