I'm sorry if I'm making too many threads, but i want everyone's opinion. Its the friend from before. There was a Latin presentation due yesterday, and because my sister recently came back from Japan i had to help her unpack. My mum and sister forced me to finish my maths homework in the weekends so i couldn't do it. On Sunday 11pm the "friend" suddenly started insulting me and yelling at me on Skype. She said that I didn't finish my part of the presentation. I was about to sleep so I only did 1 part of the presentation (i was supposed to do 2). yesterday she started insulting me about how i didn't manage my time properly. i asked her what SHE was doing because she didn't finish it either but she covered it up with "personal problems" and blamed the whole things on me. I was obviously angry because she blamed the whole thing on me, and used "personal problems" as an excuse while not taking into account that i might have had personal problems as well. my primary school friend and i tried to tell her that she's not the only one with problems, but she denied it and said that everything was my fault. I was tired of her doing this EVERY TIME. whenever we did group work and it failed she would always blame me like i was wrong but when we complete it she acts like she did all the work! i told her that i didn't need a friend who blames things on me and told her to leave the group because she's not my friend anymore.

So, problem solved! Until i told my mum about it. my mum said that she thinks that i should be able to choose my friends, but she said that i went too far by telling her to leave the group because she was the only friend i had in my class. my friend from primary said the same thing and that maybe i should try to make up with her. Even though what they said might be true, i thought having a friend like this wasn't worth it because she never considers my feelings. Just now we had an argument because of one of my sarcastic remarks against her (i have a habit of doing this when i get mad). Now the situation is even worse because i said we shouldn't be in a group or be friends ever again. I don't know what i should do, i still have about 4 group work tasks that i have to do with her.

This is probably the final paragraph (sorry for the length of this, i didn't want to make another thread and fill the personal board with my problems). I have another friend who is in another class. In the beginning i thought she was a frenemy because she annoyed me to no end in class and stopped me from doing me work,but recently i found out that she only talks so much because she doesn't have anyone to talk to. She is a only child and her parents own a factory so they're always busy. because she doesn't have a sibling like everyone else she had minor depression and would sometimes not come to school. but a few weeks ago she stopped coming to school and when i went to her house it turns out that she had been refusing to go to school for 2 weeks for an unknown reason. Her parents were crying while trying to ask me if I could get her to come to school. In the beginning it worked, and she came back to school for a while. the problem is, of course the school would care if a student stopped coming to school for over 2 weeks. The school told her to go to the office, and i don't know what happened, after that no matter how much i tried to convince her to come to school it wouldn't work. I want to help her but i don't know how to.

Finally, this is unlikely but if any chance you're reading this, please come back to school. if your class bullies you then ill be there for you. even if the teachers don't accept you ill accept you. Don't give up on your talent for art just because of a few people who don't want to recognise your talent.

I think people haven't really commented here because it's too long and most don't read, but I'll do my best to help.

First of all, that first friend you were talking about sounds like a drag, but try not to shut her off. Take a step back and let her short her own stuff out, and maybe when she is better you'll be able to talk again because it sounds like she is letting her anger on you. Of course do that if she doesn't accept your help. Like, ask her whether there is something you can do and if she denies (even if she shouts at you) tell her that you'll be there if she needs anything.

For the other girl, this is something you need to be there for. Even if she refuses to come, keep inviting her, go over to her place as often as you can, and maybe get some other people to come as well, just make sure it'll come off as something you do because you care and not out of pity, she'll hate that. If that still doesn't help, then her parents should probably seek professional help for her.

Sounds like you have a hard time there, but hang on!

Hey there. It really sounds like you are in a tough spot! I'm sorry for all the trouble you have right now, but keep hanging in there. You aren't doing too bad.

In the first case, this friend really does seem like she's a bit self-centered. And you do need to watch out for yourself and make sure that she doesn't cause you to get stuck in a toxic environment. But on the other hand, she may be really struggling with something as well and by the sound of the advice from your mom and friend (who know a lot more about the situation than I do), it doesn't seem like she's a dangerous person to you. Maybe you are just both struggling right now. She has admitted to having personal problems, but it doesn't sound like she's willing to talk about them. So maybe your best bet would be to apologize to her. Let her know that you were just upset and didn't mean to end the friendship permanently. Suggest that maybe you just need to back up from each other long enough for both of you to get your personal problems together. If her personal problems are getting in the way of her getting her work done, then she needs to get that sorted out, and if all you can do around her is get mad, then you aren't going to help her do that. Likewise, if your personal problems are getting in the way of you getting your work done, then you need to sort those out and if all she can do is yell at you, then she isn't going to be able to help you either. Let her know that you want to be friends, but for the sake of your friendship, if you can't rely on each other then you might need to take a break until you get your lives in order again. Let her know that you are willing to help her if she is willing to help you, but if that's not working out then maybe you each just need some personal time. You can hang out again when you are both feeling better.

As for the second friend, that is also a difficult situation to be in. But if she doesn't talk about her problems, then no one can help her. I'm a teacher myself, and while many kids will skip school just because they don't want to go (and need to get the appropriate punishment), some kids can really be struggling and need some special treatment. The problem is, if she doesn't talk about it, we can't always tell the difference, and even if someone else tells us, we are limited in what we can do. There are all sorts of ways to get help with depression, but if she doesn't reach out, we can't help. You are in the same situation. You can't make her talk to you and you can't make her talk to her parents, you can't make her talk to the teachers, and you can't make her look for help. All you can do is make sure she knows you are there. Tell her that there are ways to help her with her problems, whatever they are, and you want to help her. Tell her the world isn't as bad as she thinks, because there are people like you who want her to be happy. Tell her that if she wants someone to talk to, you want to listen. Tell her that you want to be her friend and that you miss talking to her. Let her know that you are there to help her if she wants it. Remind her that you can only do as much as she will let you do, but you are willing to help get her through. From there, it's up to her.

Good luck.

If you do not want to be friends with her, then I think that is fine, since she was being self centered. Even if she did have her own personal problems if she had told you guys about the seriousness of it then maybe you guys woudn't have fought but she didn't even explain it so you don't have to be friends with her. When you are doing the group project don't get bothered by the fact that she used to be your friend because now she isn't, so you hold just treat her like a classmate that you aren't close with when working with her. Or you can continue trying to be her friend.

>>2 >>3 >>4

Thanks for the advice, but things have gotten more awkward with the first person. Today she left her phone in Geography, and one of my classmates, thinking I was her friend gave it to me and said "she left this on her desk, give it to her" and left. It was recess and I couldn't find her so I thought I would put it on her desk in our next class. Unfortunately she saw me with her phone and screamed "WHY DO YOU HAVE MY PHONE?" And caused a big commotion. I tried to explain it to her but she wouldn't listen. Then I yelled at her saying "LOOK I DIDNT STEAL YOUR FREAKIN PHONE OUR CLASSMATE GAVE IT TO ME NOW STOP YOUR SHITTY ACCUSATIONS WITH NO PROOF". After that she snatched her phone and walked away. I don't think I'll be able to mend our relationship, at least not for a while now that this has happened.

As for the second friend it's hard to even contact her because I think she blocked me on Skype. Sometimes she would reply to me on private but most times she suddenly stops replying, and I can't add her in a group. Things are getting worse and worse. I've heard from my classmates that we're choosing our electives for language, technology and history/geography next week and if she isn't here next Thursday I don't know if she's gonna miss it. I told her today but she hasn't replied. Even the teachers are starting to get worried. Our roll call teacher even asked if anyone was in contact with her today. I didn't put my hand up because I didn't want to say my friend had family problems. Anyways the teachers are starting to get concerned and her peers don't try to help at all. Her peers don't even care. I know someone in her class and she says that everyday people are just like "oh, she's away again? Seriously? Shes gonna fail this exam. It's been 2 weeks since she's been at school"

I might have a different ID because I'm typing this at home and i was in a public library when I typed >>1 but I'm still the same person!

Yeah, you can't be friends with someone who doesn't want to be friends with you. You tried to explain the situation, she didn't want to listen to you. You have tried to help when she has problems and she rejects it. You have tried to explain the struggles you've been having with the assignment and reach out to her, and she rejects all of it. She projects her anger at you every chance she gets, and frankly, she will get enough chances without you doing anything to make yourself available. I think you've pretty well done what you can do. It might be best to remain open to her if she reaches out to you in the future, but reaching out to her looks like it's only going to cause problems. She doesn't sound like a healthy person to be around right now.

As for the other friend, it's like I said. All you can do for her is be there. If she won't reach out to you, then you can't take her hand. If things are looking bad enough, like her life may be at risk, then I would tell the teachers what you know about the situation. She may view that as a betrayal, but if you fear the worst, it's better to try to save her life, and the teachers will have access to a few more resources than you and can also recommend some things to the parents, if her parents are worried about her. No one can fully fix the situation unless she takes that first step and reaches out, but there may be some things that can be done to make that step easier for her. The only other thing you can do is keep trying to contact her and keep reminding her that you want to help.

>>7 I've talked to my mum about it and asked her what she knew. She said that the problem was most likely caused by my friend's parents because they insisted on going to the school authorities to complain about my friend, and that's what lead to my friend most likely being yelled at by the people in the office. Also, my friend once told me that her mum has "extreme" ways of monitoring her (she plants cameras in my friend's bedroom), so that may be a factor too. Right now I'm trying but it's like the whole world is against her. Her peers won't help, I don't think the teachers will either, and worst of all, she can't even tell her family about her troubles! I try to contact her on Skype everyday but she never replies, and the moment the conversation starts turning to things concerning school, she suddenly goes offline. She doesn't seem like she wants to talk about it to me and there's really no one she can talk to. I don't know anymore, I can't make my way to her house this week because I have exams next week (she does too). I'm also not sure if I should help her with the exam. While she's really behind and will need some help on French, honestly if she takes a day off on the day then it'll be a waste of my study time helping her with French when she's not gonna go to school anyways.

That is definitely extreme. I've had times where I had my door removed for a week or so because I seriously did some bad stuff, but that was a punishment, not a form of monitoring and cameras are beyond that anyway. If her parents view her as a 'problem child', then that might be why the teachers responded the way that they did - they were given biased information. Can you try to figure out what's wrong without bringing up school? Usually severe problems tend to affect all areas of life in some way, not just one. It may start in one, but they have a tendency of spreading. See if you can get her to complain about a different aspect of life, show her that it's OK to complain to you and that you will try to help (only if she wants it, but offering doesn't hurt). Maybe she will warm up to you that way. If you want to offer to help her in French, it wouldn't hurt, and if she accepts it then that would be a good way to show that you are willing to help even with school topics, so even if she doesn't take the test after, I don't think it would be wasted. But if she won't even let you mention school, I don't expect she'll take up the offer for a study session either. If you think she might, it's worth a try, though.

I'm sorry for bumping the thread up. Things are much better now. I'm no longer friends with the person who blamed me for everything, and everyone around me seems to accept the fact that I don't want to be friends with her. My other friend has finally come back to school, and she talked to the councillor. She said the school wasn't going to mark her on any of the tests that she missed and if she wanted she could get someone to move to her class. I convinced her to move to my class, and everything is great; there's just one thing.

She's starting to abuse this "privilege". Now everyday she arrives at school at either recess or lunch, skipping at least 3 periods everyday. Whenever there's a test she messages the councillor and attempts to skip the test. I've been convincing her to study because the school won't let her avoid every test left in the semester, but she's not listening to me. She did this yesterday; I told her about the test today and she said she sent an email to the councillor that night. Today she arrived at lunch and skipped the test. On the 30th we have another test. I don't know if she'll skip it again, but I feel like she thinks I'm just jealous of her privilege. I don't know what to do now, if I help her she'll think I'm jealous and not listen, but if I don't help then she will probably keep skipping school like this.