Wake up, walk to work, get briefed, get on shift, look busy, pretend you're okay, wear the mask of the shy guy, go to the gym, go to lunch, go back to work, 12 hrs later you get off shift you go back to your sad dorm with your roommate, do schoolwork; can't finish because you keep getting distracted, tired you do schoolwork till you fall asleep, then you awake up and the cycle continues for another 7 days, another 4 weeks, they said 8 months would fly by but, time has stopped everyday is the same, you realize people you're with are two-faced and they won't bother to care about your problems unless it's in their convenience. Everyday for the past 4 months my life has been like this, I don't know how much more I can take, I'm only 19 I can't take all this responsibility I'm weak. I hate people, I hate talking, but most of all I hate myself. I must be going insane if I'm writing all this on here, but at least someone knows maybe someone might care. I'm afraid, I'm scared of how much more pain I can endure, I just wanna go home, I want to see my family and friends again. I have a full metal jacket, it looks so easy but I'm so cowardly I can't even pull the trigger. If I tell anyone here they throw me out and tell me I'm ill. I don't want that but, it's harder and harder to live each day like this the same things over and over again. I just want to go home, but no one understands me here. thank you

Number 1.

Breathe.

I don't know as much as I'd like to about you, but I want to know more.

Number 2.

I want you to know that you're going to be okay.

Everyone finds this site in their own way and I'm glad you found it now.

I am a nobody to you. Just another grain of sand at the bottom of the ocean. But I want you to know (and I'm sure you're smart enough to know this already, but) don't even think about doing that terrible thing millions of people say is a "solution"

You say you have a continuous routine. Is there anything you can do to change it?

So you're dormant at some college campus right? Is that where you want to be?
You're working all day to pay that off right? School too? For what? 8 months you said?

Well how far are you through that and do you really want all that time to be for nothing?

Maybe you could take a few days off a week from work or get reduced hours?



Hopefully you come back to this site and see this. I want to know more because I want to see if there's anything left I can do for you. Or maybe someone else can help too.

This site hold some of the most endearing and helpful people on the Internet. It's almost like a whole family and if you want to join it, we are here.

Hi there, I don't know if I can help or if I'm even in the position to do so but, I know pretty much how you feel. I'm in a similar situation like you. I'm on a job I really hate and just everything feels boring and I feel like I'm burned out. But The reason why I keep going is this: I believe in a better future and don't want to miss this. Therefore I keep going. I think most important is that you know the reason why you are doing this and probably even more important is what I think that you have fun in living. So you probably have to change something if this is possible.
I hope it is understandable and the gramma as well as my english isn't this bad.

I'm sorry to hear that you are going through such an awful experience, but you are not alone. There are so many people out there who go through the same feeling for different reasons that it could be considered tragic.
Not to undermine the seriousness of how you feel, since it is important to your value of life and growth as a person that you respond to these feelings, and they are all too real.
You are right, to some length, that we cannot completely understand- none of us are in your head to see through your eyes, nor are we in the exact same situation.
However, you are not alone. We are your fellow Dollars, and helping you through your situation is a great part of our cause in being here.
In case you are prone to anxiety, here is a tip I follow when I feel like I'm breaking down.
Look around you, wherever you may be. Find 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, and 1 thing you can taste. It is called grounding, and it uses your senses to help you feel more calm.
When you are calm, think about things like Zora Lee said.
Think about your goals in this, and how what you are doing can lead to them. Remind yourself of the bright future and aspirations that you had when you started this out, and really connect what you are doing now to where you want it to lead. Next, consider if the future you see your current struggle leading to is what you want- will it be worth the struggle when you get there?- and if that is not enough to remind you why you are doing this and how much you want it, you may open your mind to other possibilites, ones that might lead you to the future you hope to achieve.
Only you can figure it out, but I'll say it again;
You are not alone.
If all you needed was to rant, that's great and I'm glad you shared your thoughts with us.
If you need further counselling or to get more of this tension out of your system, just keep posting here and I will respond to you.
I wish you the best, and hope to hear back from you when you need to talk or have found your way through your situation.
We will always be here.

Hey. I've been close to suicide a couple of times myself. I'm not going into it here, because I know that every situation that leads to those feelings and desires is unique and rattling it off here won't help you. I just want to let you know that I've felt something similar. It's hard.

But things will continue to change. That's a fact about life - there are endless ups and downs. Sometimes downs take longer than we'd like, but if we can hold out, they will go back to an up. And if you need someone to vent to or to give you advise on particular things, then we are here. "The world isn't as bad as you think" - that's the motto because we want to be the good in the world. We aren't going to turn you away or tell you that you are ill. We may not understand your specific situation, but as humans, we can understand your emotion. Emotions connect all people, as long as we are in tune with our empathy enough to think about it.

I won't give advice right at the moment because Zore Lee seems to have covered the basics of that already and said it better than I could. But if you decide to pop back on, I will be around and might be able to help in the future, even if it's just lending an ear and reminding you that I am here and, odd as it may seem at the moment, care what happens to you. Hope to hear from you again.