1 Name: Luciferyn : 2016-08-01 21:20 ID:LlplJiGc [Del]
I won't try to make this personal...at least not in the sense that I want anyone to know who wrote it - I never was one for fame. Those who know me either believe that I am insane for consciously going into the darkness alone. But it is not the journey that that concludes their judgment, but rather my expression as I dive into worlds in which society shuns, places which establishments condemns, events that are the beginning of Hollywood horror flicks... yes... I walk into the darkness to see what good has been buried by the weight of other's depression.
Whether it be a 10 hour drive or a 500 mile plane trip, I go into places far away to find their dark places... to visit those that have been abandoned. I won't act like I do it as a self righteous act, I am a man with no god - but many ghosts. In truth, I do it, because I want to share my darkness with the denizens that I meet. Strangely, this sharing of macabre memories treats, albeit temporarily, the agony of the loneliness in my heart.
It sounds moronic as I write this since there are plenty of those who love me - but I wonder if their love came too late. Those people are the waves of hope that come crashing against my salt-laden cliffs... but like real cliffs, the wall of stone existed long before I knew what love was. I worry that no matter how intense their tides may be, that at the end of it all I will still be stone covered in salt.
A part of me still wants to believe that I will eventually find someone else that understands my twisted paradox of going into the night to see what lights have been buried by this reality - preferably someone whose beauty could only be matched by her forgiveness of my stupidity. I thought that I had found her once... but her light just charred my heart as she burnt 3 years of a false fantasy.
I have had some more since then, and they have been good. But they didn't understand my obsession with finding those faint glimmers in the dead of night. Alas, at least they and I understood that our paths would diverge and things ended without scars. That understanding is what helps me keep on my journey. I guess I just wanted to let out some of this darkness to in hopes that a glimmer can enjoy it.
Love, because it's the only thing that will get you through the infinite darkness.
