My aunt recently died, and I'm feeling kind of depressed now. I really don't know what i should do, I miss her so much! I really wish she hadn't died. I'm thinking about either hiding my emotions and locking them away, or gathering up a bunch of deadly poisons and killing myself, but I really don't know what to do; but I do know that I want to live, and I i know i don't want to lock up my emotions again. But I really miss my aunt, she meant almost everything to me.

Grieving is always difficult. It's something none of us wish to be familiar with.

Cry.
Talk to your parents about it.

I can't cry when people die anymore, cuz I've already locked alot of my feelings up, but seeing everyone here in the dollars, I feel like I belong here; so I decided to give my feelings another try, but it's now second nature to me to hold back my tears. I want to cry when things like this happen though...

I get it it's sad for you but fuck people die all the time.
She died.Deal with it there is nothing about it you can do.
If you actually have depression and not pretending talk to someone to get you a proffesional.
Ending your life is never an option, it's just a pure evidence of human idiocy.
Be strong and live on,goodluck.