About 1 year ago I confessed my feelings of a close friend of mine that I had feelings for and was rejected because she had a boyfriend at that time. I can't lie that I was hurt pretty badly since I really like her; she's really kind, accepting, and independent (kinda like of a tomboy a little). I got problems in sleeping through the night for a few days after that.

Well, in the past we were very close. She would hang around me a lot, treat me with snacks, and always went up on me when I'm alone. Honestly, I was kinda of an introvert myself, I have really scary eyes and an intimidating look that would often mistook me for being angry all the time, In fact she's the only one who actually talked to me in the first day of school. I seldom talk to my classmates. I don't know how'd it happened but suddenly we had became so close. At first I thought of her as annoying but later on, I kinda of got used to it. Oftentimes my classmates would mistook us for couples and would tease us, when that happens she would just be quiet and dodge the teasing.

Thanks to her, I got a little acquainted with everyone of my classmates, I can talk to them normally now and I even had a friend who introduced me to japanimations and got really interested at it. For the time being, she didn't talk to me. I heard she had a boyfriend so I thought this was the reason so I gave her some space and concentrated on other things.

Some time had passed and she was talking to me again like before. So we became very close again, and this was the time that I realized my feelings for her. But I was afraid, I thought that she just considered me as a friend and nothing more, I tried to confess but always hold back countless of times. My friend told me that she broke up with her boyfriend, and in one time she profiled a picture of us two awfully close to each other. It caused a ruckus among my classmates that made the comment box full of questions of "are you two finally going out now?" and she would just reply "no, silly." or something similar. I thought that maybe she also likes me, but fear overcame me that I held back again at confessing. I tried to pay no mind at those and fixated that she just thinks of me as a friend and nothing more.

After some time, maybe I couldn't hold back anymore, I finally confessed my feelings for her through text. My heart was really thumping loud and fast when I pushed every button of the keypad, I even researched on the internet on how to confess to a girl through text message cause I can't do it face-to-face and I never had any single relationship with someone before. But to my dismay, she said she can't because she currently has a boyfriend. In that moment my mind was blown, my heart ached like it was hammered all the way through and I couldn't think straight. She asked me if I liked her, and to my mind that was joggling up-and-down whirling around, I said no that it was just a practice. She said "You're kidding, you really like me that's why you confessed right?", and I denied heavily. I said some hurtful things after that and she ended the conversation saying that she had a headache and wants to sleep.

In the next day, we were so very awkward. We both never talked to each other again. I always avoided her and just nod whenever she strikes a conversation, because when I look at her I remember that night and I felt really hurt. That came up for days. One time, she cried suddenly in the classroom, my classmates and I who was startled went to console her. When I asked what's the problem she said that it's because I was avoiding her, so I told her that I wouldn't avoid her now; that even if she rejected me I was still her friend. But I never stayed true to that promise, I still avoided her because I was really afraid to fall for her again.

A month has passed and she started hanging out with a girl in our class until they became a couple. I was a bit surprised but I thought it wouldn't be entirely unreasonable because she's a bit of a tomboy. But we are still very awkward to each other, I never talked to her again and I feel uncomfortable just being around her. I never paid attention to her anymore and we always avoided each other. Most of my classmates went cold on me especially the girls. The only one I could genuinely hang around with in that time was that friend of mine who introduced me to anime. This went up until our graduation.

Now I'm in my first-year college. I still like her, I still have no relationship with anyone, and because of that incident I got a really hard time being friends with girls. I feel very nervous whenever I'm with a girl and avoid them especially pretty and beautiful ones. Whenever we have our reunions with our classmates it never changes, she still seem to have a relationship with my girl classmate, and we still avoided and don't talk to each other.

So please here me your opinions. Can I still be friends, hang-out with her, or we could go back where we used to be? Do I still have a chance with her? or is it completely hopeless now? Did she even liked me in the first place? Did she rejected me of her will? Should I stop this feeling of mine and move on? and what should I do from now on?

Please, it's really long but if you can please post your opinions and hopefully answer my questions. Thanks in advance.

You should ask her if you wana hang out with her, and if she doesn't want to, you should just leave things be. If she does, you should try to make a fresh start and try to make things better.

Thanks I think I'll do that... I'm quite nervous and afraid all when I'm with her, but I'll do my best. btw there's not much of a response in here huh?

well i want to respond to you~ :) I think that you should follow your feelings for her. If you really like her you should try to be friends with her but if i were you i would try to get over it and move on.

I guess I'll talk to her first and reset my current relationship with her because currently it's very antagonizing. And if I ever had the chance to say my feelings to her again, I would do so personally. And if she says no, then I would have to accept it once and for all and be friends with her again... I guess I'll muster up the courage when the time comes.

That sounds good Ruppo :) hope everything will turn out good for you! :D

Yeah, thanks for the advise btw.

awwww I wasn't the one who help you?? Was I too late???
I feel sad...
Good luck dude! You're a caring person and take her feelings to consideration. Im sure anyone will be lucky to have you so if she's not the one, then there will be a time when you tell your girlfriend about this little moment and laugh it off

Haha, really that meant for anyone who actually took their time reading my little story. I'm kinda grateful about it but I really appreciated the ones who replied. Thanks for the encouragement though, I'll be sure to send some regards in the time I got to sort things out with her.