1 Name: Kid : 2016-04-28 04:42 ID:7q+nFWzq [Del]
Even as a child, I THINK I've been under depression ever since my Dad got into an accident about 8-9 years ago. He had to retire earlier that expected, and now, he can't work anymore because he is too old, the same goes for my mother. Our funds were all used for my dad's operation (an expensive one) and we ran out of money. We were able to put up a small business before it, but it got bankcrupt. Our relatives, well, they didn't help us. They were the greedy ones, who used to get a hand from my Mom and Dad withouy returning any. From then, everything changed like. From rich to poor. Luckily, my father gets a retirement fund, but that alone wasn't enough for us. Our life style drastically changed, my family's broken up to today, and I think this will continue until I finish my studies. I am currently a senior high student. Now, I can feel that I am slowly driffting away from who I used to be, a bright kiddo who always smiled at everything and would laugh without wearing a facade, strong willed and kind. The things I enjoyed the most won't motivate me anymore. I have mood swings most of the time, getting angry at people without knowing or I would seriously get irritated. I tried reaching out for my friends. They were there alright, but a sense of comfort from their words woudln't bump me. I know that they care for me from the bottom of their hearts, it's just that I clearly see that they don't understand me even though I am open to them and they try. I am the type who does not, as in, does not go outside our home in case I really have to. On my social media, I don't associate myself to others that much. I sleep excessively but would still feel tired. I have become a lazy bum unlike before. I was also an organized person, the leader type,the rational but now, that's just in the past. I am scared to love and trust though I had already overcome a bunch of relationships of betrayal. I am scared that people only love me for my looks. I am scared to be rejected. I am scared of people's compliments. I am scared of people hating me. I am scared of not being able to continue going to school.I am scared to even ask questions in class when I don't know something which was before, what I do the most. I am scared, obviously, at everything. I want someone who'll undersand me and accept me for who I am. I need a listener. I thirst for comfort not for an advice. To you who had read this to the end, thank you for lending your time to listen. You made me, at least, feel a bit of happiness.
