I'm pretty sure my friend's parents aren't this way but I'm not sure?

My mom is a really controlling person, I've always known that. I just don't know if it's like, abnormal

When I was younger and we moved into our house she removed the locks from my sibling's and my bedrooms and bathroom, so she could come in at any time (and yeah, she would barge into the bathroom while I was using it even though I asked her to stop). But she left the locks on hers. She told us that she had cameras all around the house and that she was always watching, so we shouldn't do bad things or she would know. (This was a lie, but I believed it until I was about 14.) When I was old enough to have them she would try to make me give her the passwords to my phone and my laptop, she said it was in case I forgot them, but I had a feeling that it was so that she could check them any time she wanted. She actually asked me a few times if she could read my texts, even though I hadn't done anything wrong. (On a few occasions I'd walk into the room after hearing my phone go off, and see her reading the new messages on the display.)

Another thing is that she claims she doesn't really trust anyone, so she ends up going to me, her son, every time she has a problem and I seriously don't understand why. Like can you imagine a 45 year old woman venting about intense adult issues to a 13 year old kid? (that's how old I was when she started telling me some real shit.) I just thought it wasn't really appropriate and I was freaked out. She always asks me if she's right, but if I disagree with her even in the slightest, she'll turn on me and then just rant angrily at me for at least another half hour. The thing is that she has a lot of issues with her family (her siblings and her mother) and she tries to turn me against them and antagonize them when I hardly even know them. She brings people into the house, argues with them way too explosively, then comes to me to vent about it and I'm just so tired. She's just too explosive. I'm not sure why this memory is coming to mind now, but there was a time when I was I think 10 years old? She asked me to get her bag from the next room, and I said alright, I'd get it once I finished this questions of the homework and she fucking blew up at me. Like she was yelling, she threw my workbook on the ground, and she stomped upstairs and I followed her to say sorry, but she went into her room and stood in the doorway. And Idk I just remember her saying "I don't ever want to see your face again, I hate you" and then slamming the door in my face. I didn't see her until the next morning, when she acted like nothing happened. I remember thinking that it was really odd, because usually it's the stereotypical rebellious teenage kid doing that to their parent... not the other way around.

Either way, can any of you guys just let me know if this sounds, I don't know, strange to you? Like is this how all moms are or is it just mine because I know my mom's character is flawed, but I don't know if it's to the point that I should be worried about anything

the locks and the phone, and the venting my mom does that too, but not to that extent

and she sounds a little paranoid and maybe bipolar??? (not sure about this tho)

wow.. you are so strong.

but i dont think your mom should take your privacy. thats just plain wrong.

>>1 I have the same type of mom. My mom and dad were divorced when I was six and my mom would tell me things that are not true about my dad, My mom would guilt trip me just to get her way. Last year my mom called the police when I said I want her to stop talking about my dad, she told the police that my dad abuses me, she told me if I don't agree with her she would throw me out of the house and my dad would go to jail. Of course I did not believe her. Then she told my girlfriend to break up with me and she did, she did that just for me to go running back to her and tell her that I was wrong. When I got home, I tried not to cry and I was hiding my eyes so she could not tell that I was crying. She hasn't even seen my face yet and she asked me whats wrong with a grin on her face. I knew right then and there she had something to do with it. So I pretended like I wasn't suspicious. I told her what happen that day. The next day I asked my ex why she dumped me and she refused to tell me why. After countless times of asking and promising I won't get angry she told me. And I was right. I wanted to tell someone but I was enraged. I got home before her that day, and I went in her closet and dug out some files of my moms court files, and burned them in the front yard when she was pulling in the driveway. She was so pissed, then when I told her everything I knew, she denied. I had proof and told her and showed her the text my ex sent me. So she took my phone away, called a hospital and put me in a psych ward. Then I was diagnosed with major depression and psychologically insane (Even though I wasn't she made up so many bullshit lies that they didn't even give me a test to prove I was sane). 7 months passed and they let me out and said I was perfectly healthy. But told no one who my mother really was, until 1 month ago. I maid a comment in class that was noted "Disturbing" and I was sent to the counselor. The thing I said, " I think its better to be feared than loved" as an opinion to the teacher who asked "Is it better to be loved or feared". I told the counselor everything. She was surprised to see how much shit I have dealt with and pretended not to be bugged by it. I was taken out of the home and my dad was proven innocent and my mom is now seeking help. I haven't seen her since, I don't like my mom, but I still love her, because I have to.

Sorry if this didn't help, I was just relating, but tell a counselor at school. As long as you tell the truth and stick to your story, which shouldn't be hard for all the shit you have been through, anyways hope this helps.

Have you talked to your father or siblings about it? Maybe they are also fed up about it or you're a really sensitive person. Well, with the evidence you have, it is disturbing but look at the bigger picture first. Maybe she had a really traumatizing past or she is that protective about your security. Paranoia is far off because she isn't really a paranoid...yet according to your evidence. (Trust me I've seen some disturbing sh*t cuz med school) Your best route would be to observe more, and the moment she breaks, that's when you call psycho hospital. In this situation though, she seems to be "troubled" by again, either an event in the past or by your family in general. Otherwise, she is just your regular playful but protective mother (the camera thing doesn't seem that creepy, it's maybe her way of telling you to be not naughty and you took it too far :3)

My mom is like that where she tries to invade my privacy and stuff. All I can say is to hang in there until you move out and then you can have your own privacy.

Yeah my mom is the same way. She even barges in the bathroom while I'm in the shower. I locked it one day and she completely freaked out and started cursing at me. Then she tells me that she "doesn't act crazy"

>>5 Even if their mom had a messed up past that's not permission to tell her own kid she hates them... if you ask me, she sounds pretty extreme

Though it's definitely an invasion of privacy, I'm sure a lot of moms try to read their kids texts and remove their locks etc. But the stuff about her venting onwards seems like too much to me.

Not to be rude but your mom seems... well, unhinged. I mean, I'd consider my mom a control freak but she'd never do something like that. That is not a behaviour of a sane person. Either try talking to her or maybe consult a psychologist (to help her deal with her problem or to help you deal with the situation). It's definitely not normal.

What's really fucked up is how common emotional abuse is, and how little it's looked at as serious until it's too late. My mom is the same way, she threatens me all the time, and twice she's told me that she doesn't give a fuck about me blatantly. She's even going as far as to say she's not paying for my college tuition because she "didn't raise me to be an activist."

I spent years convincing myself that it wasn't happening, I developed a selective memory because of it and just started to remember things - often along with a migraine as I do.

When I was a child, she started to get creative with how she would punish me. Once, whooping me with a window rod, then she said she would start whooping me in the morning so that I would behave throughout the day, then with a hanger. I got bruised so bad after the hanger and I remember a teacher stopped me and asked me why I was walking so slow, after I showed her the bruises, they called child services.

She won the case and got me back, but the one part about that I never forgot was how her friends and my family members scolded me for telling. They told me the only time I should tell is if she pointed a knife at me and I was fearing for my life, but I couldn't understand why I would have to wait to be facing death for it to be wrong that she was harming me. Just last month, she pulled my hair and dragged me around the room because she said I lied to her about something and after I wouldn't "admit it", she resorted to hitting me. I had no idea what she was talking about, and the whole thing was just a fucking mess.

It's a lot more than just that, there's been so much that's accumulated over the years...but the issue is that I just started to suffer from it. I've always had problems because of what she's done to me, but I was so numb to it all that it didn't matter what she did. However, now that I have some sense of understanding, it's been harder to do much of anything lately. My grades have slipped, and I'm fighting now just to keep from going into severe depression again.

I want to leave, that's the main source of arguments between us now. The fact that I'm hellbent on getting the fuck away from her makes her upset, but how could I not want to leave after everything that's happened?

I want my freedom and I think the only way I can actually heal is if I'm not around her, because the only time that I am myself is when she's gone.

Geez, all of these stories make me glad that my mom is the way she is... even if she is a schizophrenic, hoarding dolt who claims that her husband is wasting money to hire a group of people to install cameras in the house, slowly kill with radiation, and steal all of her shit even though our entire house is a fucking pigsty but I digress.

Anyways *ahem* yeah, I'd stick to observing her a little bit more to find out a solid reason as to why she's acting as she is. I'd recommend keeping a psyche or the police on speed dial though - just in case. I get that she's being over protective, but going to those extremes is crossing the line to some sort of mental disease. I'd talk to her calmly and when she's in a god mood to go see a doctor or something (unless your mom is like mine and refuses to see one people she believes they're implanting tracking devices into her)

>>1 >>10 Okay listen, first guy I can relate a bit but not enough to say you dont need hell. Janna you need to get the hell away from there. That's easily one of the worst abuse stories I've ever heard. Please call the cops if it happens again. If you need to chat send me an email at victus.dollars@gmail.com