Hello, and for anyone who doesn't know who I am, I used to be king0fcats (No one will probably remember me, I usually hung out in the plug.dj. That doesn't matter right now.)

So lets get some history down first. I've always known I've wanted to be a girl, but kept it inside for being weird. When I was little (I'd say about 8). I would cry my self to sleep wondering why I had the body of a boy. I never really knew this was a problem that anyone could have until it hit mainstream media.

I have developed depression partly from experiences with my family, partly from being transgender. It fluctuates from time to time and I say it is pretty bad right now. My grandmother/my entire family discussed and agreed that trans people should grow up to be their body's gender. The problem is (if you guys couldn't figure it out already.) that with the depression I feel a need to come out. I'm only 14 now and I won't be able to keep it in till when I'm 18 (Living in US). Even though my family is strongly against it, I will be coming out this week. My father (the more violent one of my parents) Is on a trip this week, and telling it to just one parent would be easier.

I've always been shy and not very close to my parents. Even though I have my mind set on it I'm very scared of what the outcome might be. I have backup plans in case of the worse, but I am looking for advice on coming out. I've pretty much seen all the videos and wiki-hows on coming out. I'm wondering if any of you guys have advice you could share about coming out in general. It would really help me and possible others.

Thanks
-Amelie

tell your mother and ask her for you to get therapy I'm not even being mean, just try it.
if you do you'll thank me for saving you years of ridicule and general angst.

I personally think you are what you want to be. You shouldn't let other people (yes. including your family) decide for yourself.

just be honest. tell them the truth. If you have accepted yourself already, then there's no way of stopping you.

I'm confused about Americans. Why can't you keep it in? It's hard as hell, but it's possible.
You keep it in, you feel oppressed. You come out, the bullying and judging is probably gonna drive you suicidal. It's just a matter of which one gives you less suffering (it's highly negative, but you used cats in your name before so you know).
And those videos are BULLSHIT. It's about connecting heart to heart, not about how creative you are in coming out.

>>4 America is a culture of individualism. Self-expression is a key aspect of individualism. It leads to a sort of dissonance, though, when coupled with familial/societal expectations and norms.

When i ususally confess something i always choose the cut and dry mwthod fo just telling the plain truth with plain facts.....however that may not be the best course....or it might be....i really dont know enough about your family to say but with my family it usually works

>>5
Well yes, but do you really need to bare everything personal about yourself to the whole community?

>>4>>7
Keeping it in is hard. I feel guilt like I'm keeping a lie and being a minor I can't be treated for it.

Everyone
Thanks for the advice it really helps. Hopefully I can do it today and hopefully I get accepted.

>>8 be sure to let us know what happened (if you feel like it)

Ah, looks like I might be a bit too late. No matter what happens, stay strong! It won't be much longer until you can make your own choices without your parents'! Hope all goes well!

>>10>>9
Thanks I'm going to be doing it in a couple of minutes. I'll try to keep you updated about my mother's response ASAP (my dad is on vacation.) Thanks everyone for helping me out and I hope this thread can teach other people. Again, Thank you everyone

UPDATE:
Okay so I came out. My mom seems to be fine with it but does not understand. My dad is still on vacation. You guys were a great help and I'd love to thank you all. If anyone in the future needs help with similar problems you can always ask me.
Thanks
~Amelie

Tell us when you you tell you dad.. neh~

and your mom is cool.

ANOTHER UPDATE:
So I talked with my mom more and she said that she couldn't ever see me as her daughter, and I kind of felt disowned. She is trying to convince me to be a buy and I have no idea why. She always said she wanted a daughter so I though she would be more accepting of me.

Well, you've lived close to a decade as her son, she isn't going to change that view in a few days time.
Let's say, your Dad decided to change gender, you would be creeped out, and your Mom would fucking rage quit in life. Close to the same concept.

Try to give it a bit of time, as >>15 said you've been her son for a fair while, that won't just go away at once.

You also need to remember that you're asking her to make a change, hopefully she can be accepting of what you want but you need to make sure you listen to her as well. Strive to reach an agreement but at least come to an understanding, otherwise it will make life very difficult for everyone involved.

It can be quite a confrontational thing for people in this sort of situation, make sure you're patient with her. Don't let her put you down though, make sure things stay civil and that you don't experience pain simply because you want to include your family in this part of your life.

Ah I didn't really mean to single your mum out for this, you ought to apply it to everyone you want to involve, I think.

I hope that helps a bit ^-^ good luck with everything!~