So recently my boyfriend of 6 months parents found my nudes on his phone.... he sent me 3 and i was really pressured into sending one cause he made me feel bad and he apologized but i still felt bad. So i sent a topless one and sadly his parents looked through his phone and found it. From there on things have gone down hill and his parents hate me. I told my parents about it and they said it was a mistake that I learned from and his parents are over reacting because with todays generation it was bound to happen. I want to keep or relationship but his parents want him to loose all contact with me and they want us to break up. What should I do?
First, let me tell you this: DO NOT EVER share nude pictures with anyone, even if it's your boyfriend. Ever. You have no idea what he could do with those pictures (let's face it, how well do you know someone after JUST six months), who might see those pictures, and who can intercept those pictures (if someone manages to break into his phone... well, you can imagine.) Also, do not accept his nude pictures. That's just not a healthy habit to get into. There are other ways to become close with someone, and greater pleasures in life. I'm not trying to reproach you, just trying to give you advice that in the future could save you a lot of trouble and keep you safe.
Now on what to do. Ask you parents to go with you to meet his parents and your boyfriend so you can both apologize (both you and boyfriend). I'm pretty sure you're underage from what I can tell, so it's best to have the parents around and talk it out. It's not up to his parents whether he breaks up with you or not, but it is in his parents' best interest to look out for him, so try to understand their point of view too. I should ask, what about your parents? What do they think? Do they want you to break up with him?
>>2 My parents understand that this type of stuff happens these days and they told me to use it as a lesson for the future. They also told me its a taste of reality and that i should learn to fix it by myself. They werent mad they just told me to take it as a lesson learned and I am. Im trying to understand his parents point of view and i understand completely why the pictures ore unacceptable but i think they might be over reacting a little. It was bound to happen someday because of how people are now and so on. Im really considering talking to his parents about it but im very scared and i have no idea what to say
I don't know how old you are, but this kind of thing is super normal. Their parents are overreacting quite a bit. My advice is to just wait till you're an adult to send nudes. It's no big deal at that point.
Ah yeah, I disagree that this is the kind of thing you need to fix by yourself, but I can't change your parents' minds.
I understand you're scared to talk to his parents, that's normal (that's why I suggested having your parents going with you); I would be too in your situation. But you have to. There's no other way to solve the problem. First, you need to apologize, because what you did was inappropriate in his parents' view. It might help to write a letter to them in which you apologize sincerely and you tell them that you realize you did something very stupid ("Dear Mr. and Mrs. XXX, I would like to apologize for what I've done... etc etc." something of the like). Ask them to please give you another chance, and tell them that you'll act more responsibly from now on and that you won't do something like that anymore. (I hope you won't do it anymore, will you?) Talk to your boyfriend too if you go to the same school or if you can meet up, and ask him to talk to his parents too. There has to be a dialogue between you, your boyfriend, and his parents. There's really no other way but to gather up your courage and go out there and apologize and talk to them.
(I know you think they're overreacting but you're from a different generation -- his parents' values and morals are different from yours, they grew up in a different era.)
Yeah I understand although i said that too he keeps saying his parents are rather young and that they should understand. They had him when they were 18 and i guess they dont want us making the same mistake. But its not like i wanted to have sex, I had no intention of indicating that... but I can understand where they are coming from.
Good that you understand. Explain that to them too, because I'm also pretty sure they are/were worried you intend to have a sexual relationship with him. Now gather up your courage and go fix this up, you can do it! Good luck! :)
>>8 I would say the problem, as far as getting advice, has been solved. I don't know the full story, you don't know the full story either, it's best not to make assumptions.
