I wished i can turn back time because my life now is not the way I wanted. I want to turn back time, the time when i am always with my best friend, the time when I have freedom, the time when everyone is fair with each other, the time when i was fair and kind. But...I also do wished...that when my mother dies... or I die...time would turn back for me, to the day I was born,SO I can restart my new life, but i'll also could remember those times I've been through...i want to change myself and the world too, to have a better life...forever.

*Cough cough* Well, time for analysis.

In 2 words, "it's shit". In 3, "it's really shit". In 4, "Stop asking, it's shit".

First of all, your structure of your post is shit. No information, no introduction, nothing before the essay. We have no idea what this essay is for, and what you want us to do with it!

Secondly, the essay it self is shit. No structure at all! This isn't a rambling, it's an essay! Get your shit together, man! Another problem is the grammar. "Who taught you?" I feel like asking, because they seem shit at teaching, but that would be unfair on the teacher because most likely, you're just shit instead. With 3 sentences and 107 words, the latter 2 sentences are extremely long. And with only 107 words, how many times do you want to say "I"? Also, type it right, it's "I", and not "i. You got that wrong 5 out of 14 times.

Lastly, what the fuck are you trying to accomplish? With a essay that sounds like the rambling of a child that dog recently died, or a teenager with depression, and that doesn't help either me or YOU. You wasted a thread with this, and managed to waste your own time. Have a proper structure next time, 'kay?


P.S. Your thread name is also shit.

Nice ideas, but as NZPIEFACE said, you need structure. Also, you only present the ideas, instead of going more in depth about the events that brought you to this conclusion, such as "I miss the time I spent with my best friend. Ever since (event), we have begun to drift apart, and have never been able to close that rift. It started in (time), when..." and end that thought with something like "Even if I can't stop (event) from happening, I would be happy just to see (friend's name) smile at me one more time." An introduction would also be nice, something to hook in the reader. For example "We've all made mistakes, done things that we wish could be stricken from our records. Ask yourselves this question; what if you could turn back the clock? You could mend soured relationships, apply for that job you've been dreaming of, maybe even see that special someone one last time. If I could turn back the clock, I would..." The ideas you presented in the essay were nice, but like I said, add some detail, and don't be afraid to create more paragraphs.

Good luck on your assignment!

Also, please don't just copy word for word what I wrote. Not only should you do this for yourself, but all of my examples kind of came off the top of my head, and may not be well-structured and/or grammatically correct.

I wish I could turn back time so that my past self wasn't such a little bitch.