1 Name: anonymous : 2016-02-15 20:10 ID:mn//NHNg [Del]
guys, i've been thinking about it lately...
i was like, giving up on college. i felt that it's not really my thing. i felt that it's not going to work. i've been on it since 2011. i tried to finish my 1st year, but i failed. i've failed 3 subjects, which all of them is 3 units. and in the university i have studied, 9 units failed means dropped out. it really hurt my dad, because he is a graduate of that same university and same majors. so i stopped for a year and a half because i wanted to. then i changed school and continued. i started again last 2013, second semester. i changed my major because i ALSO gave up on my first one. but now it's 2016 and i dont have a single hope of graduating. i really felt really, really bad about it. i know it really was my fault for cutting classes, but i really dont like the feeling inside the classroom. im not really good at talking to people personally. and because of that, my college life is really fucked up. i dont have permanent classmates because im an irregular student. a transferee. i dont have any friends at school, i dont have someone to talk to, so it made me like, "fuck it's school time again. hmm, maybe next meeting. i dont have someone to talk to anyway.". having no one at school is really hard. but in this country, if you didn't finish college, you wont have a good life. poverty will surely strike you in the future.
i wanted to earn money, instead of paying my tuition fee.
and so, i thought that i should continue our family business. a bakery. It’s okay and we’re selling good and my grandfather is the one who manages it. he's the one that should be followed. his rules are absolute. ofc my dad and i cant complain because of our respect to him. and because of my grandfather's desicions, we're barely earning money because of the fucking bills.
it really pisses me off because you know what guys, my grandfather wanted our helpers to live with us. but it's kinda okay because we have a large house enough for atleast 18 people.
but the real problem is, our helpers live here for free food, water and electricity, plus they have a fucking salary. FUCK IT, RIGHT? my grandmother said we should make the last part of our house an apartment. (because the style of our house is like, divided into 3) but my grandfather didnt want to. because actually, our helpers are our relatives from the province.
OUR HOUSE REALLY IS FUCKED UP. IM REALLY PISSED OFF OF IT. SOMETIMES MY GRANDFATHER BLAMES ME FOR THESE HARDSHIPS THAT'S WHAT IS GOING ON HERE. "WE DONT HAVE MONEY, BECAUSE YOU KEEP ON ASKING FOR IT" well, duh? im going to school ofcourse i need money.
sometimes im thinking of running away. "fuck it. fuck that. fuck this. fuck everything, im running away". but i cant because if i ran away, im really sure im going to die out there.
and right now, I REALLY DONT WANT TO STUDY ANYMORE.
my motivation disappeard a long ago ever since i've realized that our budget for food is becoming short. because of the fucking decision my grandfather made.
So now, I was thinking of the business I thought long ago. And my dad is actually supporting me on this, but little did he know, im kinda planning to leave university. Im just waiting for him to give me the money for my capital, and I wanted to do this full-time. I want to earn money instead of going to school without motivation and failing again. Guys, I need help.. I need your moral support and advices. I really cant say this to my boyfriend. That I want to stop studying and start this business full-time. We have plans for the future and I don’t think that it would go well. Im 21 years old and he’s 20. and we’re still both studying. Our friends already graduated, and have jobs. *sigh*
2 Name: Waterdrinker : 2016-02-16 06:26 ID:mkqCvwzr [Del]
Life is not as hard as it seems. No matter what you chose to do I am sure that you will manage. You shouldn't be mad at you grandfather, or you dad, or anyone else in your family. They are your family and, if nothing else, they have cared for you all this time. Your grandfather made his choices and you are old enough to make your own, but I advise you to discus it with your boyfriend, or your dad, or a friend, anyone whom you consider yourself to be close with, anyone you can trust. Just one person is enough. You should do this not because you need another opinion, but mainly so you can hear your own thoughts coming out of your own mouth. This will help you form your choices and then stick with them. You are young so you have nothing to fear. Your whole life is in front of you, do with it as you please!
