Ok, so me and this guy (lets call him Idiot) was set up by our friends at the end our freshman year. we went to different schools and at first i was scared. yet we instantly clicked and were happy. we never had any arguments that first year. but then i could not hang out with Idiot that much during our second year together. the reason for that was my mom is very strict, and does not allow her kids to date or be with our friends outside of school. i made this clear to him the first time we talked, that we would not be able to see each other that much. he said it would be ok with him, but i knew he was not happy.he would always ask if we could hang, but we never could because of school and my mom. i am so terrified of her. i can never stand up to her. i know. i am weak and pathetic. soon enough he broke up with me because he could not handle it. eventually he asked me back out because he missed me and that he "loved" me. In the back of my mind, a little voice told me that he would just leave again because we could not see each other. he stopped asking if we could hang out.during my junior year, i couldnt take him being unhappy,so i broke up with him. yet he said he would always love me and he would wait for me. he always said he would wait for me until we graduate. during that time, he started to like another girl and asked her out. brokenhearted, i stopped talking to him. i needed time for myself and to heal. after a month, i started talking to Idiot again. i was prepared to deal with what he had for me. during my absence, she cheated on Idiot. without anyone to talk to, he started to talk to another girl (lets call her Mini-me because she was a freshman at this point and Idiot told me that we are very similar, Idiot and I are juniors). and guess what? you guessed right, he started to like her too. i thought i could handle it but i couldnt. i told him that i couldnt talk to him anymore. he told me that he wanted me to stay, that he missed me, and that i was important. i told him he had to choose. he never could. i gave in and dropped the whole thing. we got back together at the start of our senior year. that was in august of last year. i thought that i finally had happiness in grasp. one of my oldest friends caught my eye (lets call him Happy). Happy was so sweet and loyal. i broke up with Idiot to be with Happy. Idiot only said that he hoped we could get back together one day. Happy was indeed happy when i asked him out at the end of November. he had liked me since middle school. we had some bitter fights but we always resolved them. at the same time, i stilled cared about Idiot so we stayed friends and texted each other. everything was fine. At the end of December, Happy told me that he was leaving after we graduate. he was leaving town. i was not sad at all, i was happy for him. but we would have to break up when he left. i cant do long distance relationships anymore. Idiot was still my best friend and i told him was going to happen. he told me that he would take care of me. of course i asked him what was going on with him and Mini-Me. Mini-Me started to like Idiot's best friend. so he didnt want to loose her, so the three of them are in a open relationship. being a good friend, i told him that she was playing him and it wasnt fair to him. he said he still liked the both of us. like before i told him that he should choose who he truly loves. and like before, he cant.

i am going to be honest: i still love Idiot. and yes, Happy knows this. Happy is willing to let me go so he can go fulfill his dreams. i just dont want to miss out falling in love with Happy and being left in the dust by Idiot while he whisks Mini-Me away. i want to know if 3 years with Idiot is worth throwing away.

What should i do?

Please no mean comments about me being an idiot high school girl who is only concerned with love or anything.

Thank you for reading.

Paragraph break

Yeah, sorry. i needed to get my thoughts down quickly without stopping.

>>3 No excuse, paragraph break

Other than what >>2 and >>4 has said, there is little to be added. I will, however, assume that OP is not trolling and that an intelligent conversation can be made. I will try to not be too mean, but you've been warned.


The opinion of this stranger who has no idea of who you are, what your priorities are nor how your living circumstances are, is that you should do nothing.


There is no rational reason for you to feel that you would be throwing away 3 years of your life, if you ever cared for "Idiot." Does your relationship with him (friendship or whatever) lose value if both of you cannot "love" each other as you'd wish? Does it make you think that your experience (or his) has been meaningless? If yes, then you've already wasted 3 years without even doing anything more.


Assuming you are from the US, you are have a life expectancy of 81 years. You therefore have more than 2 decades to correct whatever decisions you would be making now (if you ever regret them) and fall in love again. Your idiotic friend himself has almost as much time as you.


Before jumping into another relationship/drama as you have, you might want to consider taking time to reflect upon your experience: THAT is the only thing you are missing out on. You got to understand that there are many (equally) great things in life that you can do: getting an education, meeting new friends, get a working experience and falling out of love, for example.


I am not saying that your experience is invalid in anyway, but I do feel that you would need a break before continuing.