I feel it's important to have an outlet for anyone trying to manage their home life with a dysfunctional alcoholic. It goes unspoken much too often and learning how to cope with it can be challenging.

I personally have very little to add because I have no experience with these situations, but I certainly support this idea. I do have friends that have had their lives pretty screwed up by alcoholic parents/relatives though, so I know that is a problem that needs to be addressed.

I just ignore them and bring home my papers from health class and leave them all over their stuff.

My best friend gave up dealing with his alcoholic roommate one day and just beat him half to death and moved. ...maybe he's not the best example.

Personally, my father is an alcoholic and its affected a huge chunk of my life (it wouldn't be a huge stretch to say that my depression throughout most of my life was caused by it). Mom used to fight with him almost every day with him because he came home late, piss-drunk and our house has echo so my little brother and I heard their constant fighting. Because of this I spent a lot of my years closed up in my room crying. Anyways, now--after so many years and a-little-too-close-death-experience--my dad is making an effort to change.

So, my advice to people who are going through something similar;

Help them out, but don't be on their case all the time. Let your feelings be known when it counts and support them. But, if you notice that they don't improve at all--that they make no effort to change, then you move on, no matter how painful it is. It is their life and, hence, their decision. All you can do is offer help.

I can't keep hiding in one room all night. I'm so tired of feeling like I'm camping out in my own home.

have you tried talking to them at all? or maybe stay at a friends house? i have no idea what its like either, but i wish you luck.

The hardest thing about talking to an alcoholic about their problem, at least in my case, is that they really aren't even the same person.

Imagine blaming a good person for trouble they caused while sleepwalking. Do they deserve that guilt?

It's truly a case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde

Has anyone witnessed an alcoholic who claims to hear voices (experiencing auditory hallucinations)?

In this case, the symptoms are only present while they're intoxicated. But I've been doing research and can't find anything linking the two.

I've come up with all kind of labels like

Alcohol Induce Psychosis
Alcohol Hallucinosis
Pathological Alcoholic Intoxication

None of these are a perfect match. I'm starting to think it's an underlying condition being exaggerated by the alcohol.

Bipolar disorder maybe?

>>9 I was shadowing an occupational therapist for a project in tenth grade and I think I saw one or two people with similar symptoms to what you're describing. If you are able to maybe you should visit a clinic and ask to speak with the occupational therapist or psychologist there. An expert is likely to be the most accurate source of information when it comes to these things.

If you have someone in your life who is an alcoholic I know how difficult and intimidating it could be to get them to confront even having the problem yet alone solving it. Don't give up hope and maybe try to gently point out the negative effects this has on every one once they've sobered up and are able to hear it. It's important that the person doesn't feel attacked.

Hm I personally don’t live together with an alcoholic but two of my relatives were addicts as well as a close friend of mine, so I’ll try my best to give advice.

Most of the time deep down there is a reason why they started drinking. Some start because they can’t stand the pressure at work, at school etc. and want to get away from all of that, they just don’t want to think about it and have a break. Others because of a break up that left them heartbroken, because they are depressed or because they can’t forgive themselves for something they’ve done so they try to numb the pain. From what I’ve experienced there is always an issue that made them do it. They simply didn’t know how to deal with it and couldn’t stand it anymore. Even if that reason doesn’t matter that much anymore and its just a craving now it’s important to understand they didn’t start drinking “just because”. Most of the time it started because of something that happened in their life and then it got out of control. They are still people. There is more to them then just their addiction.

If you realize there is a problem get to know that person better when they are sober. Try to be sympathetic, even if it’s hard. Believe me, I know that. It can pull you down and it might be painful to see that person this way. When they’re drunk it can be scary, depending on the person. Some are simply depressed and cry, while others are totally aggressive and might beat you up. Especial when the second is the case leave them be. Your safety is important. When they are sober try to make them feel comfortable around you. Try to address the topic gently and not judgmental. The Person might snap and tell you that there isn’t any problem. Try to keep calm if that happens. That reaction is quite normal. It is never easy to talk about personal issues in front of someone else, no matter what it might be. It’s hard to accept that you have a problem. It’s for them as well, but they have to realize that either by themselves or by you approaching them. The earlier, the better. Show them that you are there for them and give them emotional support, but give them some space aswell. Try to talk about that topic with someone close to the addict if you think that you can’t handle approaching him/her. Let it be their longtime friend, fiancé etc. Just let it be someone who cares. If the addict wants to change just one bit support that decision. There are programs out there where they get professional help too.

Change won’t come easy. But Drinking or any addiction for that matter can be cured if there is a will. It’s sometimes hard to stay sober because sometimes there is a craving, in many products is alcohol as an ingredient and there is always a certain risk of relapse if something goes wrong in their life again. Still it is possible to move on and live a healthy life again. But if nothing helps, they just refuse to listen, no matter what you do, as harsh as this sounds, you are the one who has to move on, no matter how hard it is. You can try to influence people but never change them. They have to do that themselves. You can’t do that for them.

That post is just way too long and sorry if my english is flawed. It’s not my native language. 

Parent: slams door open "Get this shit off my TV"

Me: "Okay..."

Parent: "You got like 9 seconds"

Me: "What? It's not my fault."

Parent: "Yes it is, you know it is."

Me: Walks into room with TV "It's off." walks away

i live with my dad.. he's too alcoholic i was wondering why he's still alive.. he would tell us (his kids: me my bro and sis) that we were ungrateful, we dont respect him etc etc. that we should just.. well die. he also said that we were just his kids.. nothing more

when my brother got a job.. he would call him arrogant. , because he took the responsibility my Dad never gave to us.

as we grew older.. we learned how to reason with him but he doesnt listen... so we just ignored him.. and ignored him..

and one day his sister(my aunt) got angry because we were ignoring him..

she told us that we were ungrateful to him, that we dont respect him, she means, he feeds us and all.

....

Respect? I think respect is for those who deserve it. not because they're older.

and simply because they're born earlier than us, it doesnt give them the right to be a bastard.

Me: *walking down hallway to my bedroom at night*
Parent: *shouts my name from their room*
Me: *startled, but not wanting to draw attention*
Parent: *shouts again*
Parent: *shouts again*
Me: "What?"
Parent: "Don't 'what' me"
Me: *leaves grumbling*

My step dad is an alcoholic and he just makes a big deal about the smallest stuff. Once, I was cleaning the oven like he's asked me to and he can into the kitchen to ask if I would go buy him cigarettes. I was eighteen, but I look a lot younger than I actually am. Also, my I.D. hadn't arrived in the mail yet. So, I told him I couldn't for those reasons. He blew up. Started screaming about how I do by respect him and how I should just go talk to my biological father (who I've never met) and how he has his underage little homies get him cigarettes all the time with no problem. He tried to guilt trip me, said that I wouldn't have had anything for graduation if it weren't for him. All this stuff. It was the first time I'd ever left the house after an argument. He's hardly ever sober and I'm surprised he still has a liver.

If everyone thinks that respect is earned by respect, then no one respects another before they are first shown respect. So in the end, no one gets respected. If he is like this then step down off your high horse and allow yourself to be below him, respect him and show/prove that you are grateful, he cannot ignore that.
Also, you are his kids, if he doesn't truly care if you're anything more, then you have to accept that, there aren't a lot of peachy-fuzzy people in this world. If he feeds you, keeps a roof over your head, and lets you have friends; then you should accept that. Don't ignore him either, it's not getting you any closer to proving yourself deserving of respect

I've lost track of how many times you've fallen and busted your face on furniture. Why do you seem to be the only one not concerned by this.

Kick him out.

>>18 It's my mother, I'm living with my parents. I need to move out, but that still leaves my dad to deal with it alone.

Then he himself needs to deal with it. That's his journey, and while it's expected for you to be worried about him- he should know what to do regarding these things. It might even be that their only together to protect you, but if you show your independence, he'll start to get the picture that you can take care of yourself well enough not to get negatively affected by this.

This one's life needs to be completely destroyed before this one will stop drinking. If that means this one will destroy you in the process, then so be it.

This one MUST find no other imaginable means to improve his life before this one considers removing alcohol from this one's diet.

To an alcoholic, any priorities, any responsibilities, any primal instincts come AFTER the drink.

In order for you to better cope with the situation, you MUST understand 3 things, which are of ABSOLUTE IMPORTANCE.

1.) NOTHING you say or do can change their behavior. STOP TRYING TO FIX THEM. DON"T TRY TO EXPRESS THE PAIN THEY ARE PUTTING YOU THROUGH. DON'T TRY TO MAKE THEM FEEL BAD. DON'T TRY TO TAKE AWAY THEIR ALCOHOL. They have to realize within themselves that they have a problem and that they need help. They must be the ones to see it. You're interference with that process WILL, WITHOUT A DOUBT, postpone their betterment.

2.) NOTHING will change unless they stop drinking. They will tell you over and over again that things will get better. They will give you a thousand reasons why you should believe in them and support them for a little longer. They will manipulate, they will lie, they will steal, they will cheat, they will do whatever it takes to get that drink. They will hurt you in ways you never thought possible, and if there is only as much as an iota of love left for this person, you MUST MUST MUST forgive them. You MUST NOT retaliate. You MUST NOT interfere.

3.) Alcoholism is a Sickness. It is a Disease. Is is a Mental Illness. It is a Sickness that is symbolized and diagnosed by the users particular attitude towards Alcohol, but has absolutely nothing to do with it. The actual Disease is within the Mind. The person, themselves, is SICK. Taking away the alcohol is NOT A CURE. The alcohol is merely a symptom of the disease. Removing the alcohol is like putting a band-aid on a broken leg.

One final statement about this Disease. They may never recover.

Someone swallowed a Hanar today...