As the title says I'm going to be bothering you lot about my life :) I'm a girl who's from a very well known family around my place. We are viewed as perfect and elegant. They all think it's nice and they believe that I'm lucky to be a part of this family, but little do they know what happens inside the house. Having a three story house is nice, but very lonely. Unfortunately it also echoes. For 15 years I have heard my parents fight over everything. They fight over food, clothes, work, money, school, responsibilities and what the community views us. I'm the eldest out of 3 children. Ever since I turned 3 and a half, I was taught how to be graceful, act ladylike and keep my mouth shut. I was sent to a very pricey school as well, I was the most respected student in my year group, due to my money and standing in society. It was nice and I felt superior for a while. But I was only deluding myself, when you have power you unconsciously form a lot of enemies. I was never bullied though. School was tolerable, but at home... In my 9 years of school life, I never experienced what it felt like to be greeted or to be said welcome home by my father. My life basically consisted of fights inside the house, strong facade at school, mature and gentle towards sisters and a stoic facade outside the house when we are talking to important people. My mother is the sweetest and most beautiful woman I have ever seen in my life. She's so pure and angelic but can be quite bipolar but hey all girls are bipolar :) sometimes I wonder how my mother ended up with a cold, strict and business minded man like my father. He did his role as a father well like, earning money (he earns too much money) leading an protectig the family but his mindset is always to have the male dominant and the women silent and obedient. Why am I writing about this? It's because for 15 years of my life I have finally spoken up. The girl who has her hair fancy and wore fancy dresses and nice high heeled shoes spoke up. The daughter who was told to hold her tongue and keep her thoughts to herself finally spoke up. I was scared. I couldn't breathe when I said it wasn't me who messed up his work table. You could guess what happens next since it was pretty obvious. I love my mother and sisters. Despite having a father like him, I still hold him in high regard surprisingly.

My life I cannot describe in words, but this stuff are what made me today :)

I don't understand. What happened next? Sorry, I really can't guess.

^2 I was beaten

That sounds really hard. Have you ever seen the zekken arc of sword art online? It seems to be a similar situation to yours. I jave trouble standing up for myself in a situation where all I have to fear is a 3 hour lecture (not as bad as being beaten in most eyes). Try learning martial arts focusing on defense if the beatings are bad. Try standing up for yourself more to show him you have a different view on how you want to live your life. I hope this helps, wish I could help more

Well it has nothing to do with male dominance or the life, he is just a dick. My dad always hated his job and took out his frustration on us. So I was always fearful of going home when I knew he was there. This happened for all of my life till I was about 18 too. Only now has he started acting as a father to me, which is weird.

But keeping your mouth shut has nothing to do with gender, for I had to all the time around my dad. He would pick any reason at all to beat my ass, so I kept my mouth shut and got really good at lying.

The best advice I can offer is to do something that is your escape from everything. It is different for everybody, since mine was skateboarding.

Also writing helped me out a lot with all of my lingering problems stemming from my past. I found out things I didn't know about myself along with things I didn't know were causing my depression. So you can always just try to write anything and everything that comes to mind.

Child services?

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I would say try to find something that can get mind away from everything.

I have found that listening to music helps in these situations. My personal favorite is a group called Skillet. They are a christian hard rock group, but they don't get too religious. They are geared toward the teenage generation that are having a hard time with life.

I have also found, from experience, that it is best to go in your room and do something quietly or go outside and do something. Completely remove yourself from the situation. Like those other guys said, find something you love to take your mind off life for awhile and just escape from it all for a bit. I prefer to read and listen to music in my room. I don't have any friends but if I did i would go hang out with them while my parents fought. I also enjoy watching anime, although, this may or may not help you. I hope this has helped and it is my prayer that God will bless you all the days of your life. Please hang in there, for even the darkest of night shall end and the sun shall rise in all is splendour and beauty.

>>7 Best response. I agree.

I can connect with you on a similar level. My situation is the same, the only difference being that I'm a guy. You said you're 15, yes? I'd say it's about time you became your own person, and not just on the internet, stand up for yourself in real life, even if it means getting beaten.

I've haven't had to deal with physical beatings so much as I have psychological beatings, but I assume the same principle applies for that; endure. And when you can no longer endure, you do something about it. You'll find that there are many different ways of making it stop, so I won't say what method I used.

As for the people at school, don't bother with them...at all. If they have a bad opinion of you, whether it's because they are jealous or otherwise, that's not your problem. People like them will never be happy because they can't appreciate what they have and they can't be happy for those that have more than them. And if bullying starts to become a problem, I'll give the same advice as before; there are many different ways to deal with it, you just have to choose whichever one suits you best.

As a last note, I'm interested in how things play out in your life, I always find it entertaining to observe others. This is my email: ValterLund.dollars@gmail.com

Thank you so much for your responses and I'm sure to take note of it. Although it is quite hard for me to find my 'escape' because my schedules are literally packed with lessons (I am actually in a business lesson right now, but I am so happy that you guys responded, so I took a risk) I will try to find a way to get out the pent up feelings.
Regarding >>4 I do a lot of martial arts and currently black belt in most of them. It helped me protect myself from others but my dad, since he does Aikido. (Unfortunately)
>>5 thank you so much for your response, and my father has a mindset of "women must stay quiet and obedient" and he clearly states this. And I have been finding ways like drawing, or painting. I also take calligraphy lessons.
>>6 child services would be quite difficult. I live in a small place and everyone knows each other, and if they find out what's going on my father would hear of it and there will be trouble.
>>8 yes I think it is the best way for me to be able to handle it.
>>9 music is a wonderful thing! And I have immersed myself in it. I currently play the violin and the piano and it definitely takes away my worries. As a fellow Catholic, I hope life is kind to you now.
>11 thank you so much for this response. And yes you are right I am currently 15, standing up will take a lot of courage but I will take you up in it with a few precautions.

Right now, it is quite peaceful because my dad is currently on a business trip so hurrah for me :)

I'm glad I was able to help lift your spirits. I hope your father is more respectful of your wishes in the future. And I'm actually a Christian, but close enough. Thankyou for your kind words, they mean alot to me. If you ever want to talk to me about something you can email me at blaze.dollars@gmail.com. Take care of yourself and try not to do anything to accidentally anger your dad. Even though he may not always deserve it, never stop respecting him. He is your dad after all. I'm sure he loves you, even though it may not always seem that he does. Also, I hope you get really good at violin and piano. I used to want to learn the violin but can't afford the lessons, let alone the instrument. And I love the way the piano sounds, it's just beautiful when played correctly. I wish you a wonderful and happy life. Go, and live life abundantly and to its fullest in God.