So back in September my friends and I met someone on a cosplay app that we decided to include into our friend group, we talked to her on and off for about three weeks before we met her in person and while things were ok they weren't great.

We continued talking to her online after that and made plans to go to a con together in a group cosplay. She ordered her stuff for her cosplay a week before the con and it took two weeks to arrive - which we had been telling her for two months - and then she bailed two days before the con.
We were a bit sad that she didn't go but were ok with it. It wasn't the greatest con, but we really felt like we missed a chance to get to know her better.

The next time I talked to her personally (I was busy with work) I asked her if she liked homestuck - because i was looking for someone else who liked it to talk about it with - and she ended up saying no and that she didn't want to have anything to do with homestuck. This hurt me very badly as I thought we were on the way to becoming good friends at the time and it made me feel like she didn't want to have anything to do with me.

It was honestly the straw that broke the camels back. She has refused to contact us on her own - she has our phone humbers- but unless it's to ask a question or sending us an edit of our cosplay pics - that she wasn't even there for - always makes us contact her.

She has had many chances to reach out to us but she never does, even in group chats she never talks to us unless we directly speak to her and sometimes not even then.
The only reason we know her real name is because of her mother who was there when we met her, called her by her real name.

Online she is always complaining about how she has no friends and how bored she is but she's always unavailable to do things with us.

She keeps saying she has tons of stuff that she needs to do to fix her cosplays. Yet she always complains that she's bored and has nothing to do.

She has been very judgmental since I asked her if she liked homestuck and not just towards me but others as well. If she isn't the center of attention she gets upset. In general she is very picky, especially about how people say things.

Example : "I like your outfit. ^-^ "
Her response : "You shouldn't tell someone that you like their outfit, you should tell them that they look good in their outfit."


So my fellow dollars what are your opinions?
Should we try to make things work as a group or should we 'break up' with her as a friend?

It depends. Do you value her as a friend?

Every time she does something that hurts you, you must tell her about it. Maybe she does not know that you are not okay with what she is saying. If you tell her, she has the chance to change for the better.

This person may have reasons for lashing out defensively. It may be something in her past, or something she is currently going through. Have you talked to her about this and asked her if there is anything troubling her? More importantly, are you willing to? Heart to heart talks may seem daunting, but it is for the best in the long run.

Some people are naturally toxic. If you find that she is actively hurting you, it is best for you to break off contact. I understand that you may want to help someone and are reluctant to exclude them, but you have to look out for yourself too.

Hi Petrafyed. Your name is actually meant to be spelt as 'petrified'.

>>3 O.O Don't steal my trollz

I do not and will not ever intend to imitate your trivial contributions on personal which you call 'trollz'. Everything I say holds valuable meaning.

Hi Hi there, I think you should "break up". IF you willing to put in the effort to be her friend and she isnt willing to do the same then I dont think you'd have a very successful friendship to begin with it. You shouldnt force yourself to like someone because in the long run you could hurt yourself/them instead of doing any good.

>>3 I meant to spell it this way, I know how to spell petrified, but thank you for the concern.


>>6 Thank you very much for the advice, I'll talk it over with the others in our friend group. :)

>>2 Personally, I'm not really sure if I value her as a friend because to me....honestly she doesn't really feel like a friend. She doesn't try to be a friend. Before I met my best friends, I had no real friends. I had people I talked to who considered themselves my friends but never really tried to be friends with me, it was always me reaching out to them and to me that's not what friendship is in my opinion. And I guess that's why I personally have such a problem with our 'friend'. Because friendship is a two way thing and she isn't trying on her part.