I finally have some time to do this. But because the is the personal threads I'm sure people need this. If there is a thread like this already please tell me.

This idea belongs to someone else. Google "Post secret" for more info.
The idea is to tell a secret that only you know. Maybe it's something other would find irrelevant. Maybe it weighs heavily on your heart or conscience.
Whether you use your username or remain anonymous is your choice.

This is my secret. I've hidden it from my best friend whom I tell everything.
Three days ago I attempted to end my life. I tried to hang myself in the living room using an extension cable. The ceiling itself broke and I failed. I realized after that that what I tried to do was stupid. And would not solve my problems. Instead it would only cause more problems to the ones I cared about. I told some strangers I had met because it's easier than talking to someone you know, and the following morning a doctor came to take to a rehabilitation centre. I want to apologize to my best friend who has stood by me for most of my life. I want to tell her why I've disappeared and what I've done. The doctor says that doing so will help me advance in the treatment.

But I'm afraid that she'll by angry or disappointed in me and won't want to be with me let alone look at me. I don't know how to go about doing this. Should I write a letter? Make a phone call? I told the stranger not to tell my best friend. Maybe I can ask the stranger to tell her for me.

Any advice anyone can give me would be very helpful. Just typing this out is already helping me.

>>1 You're a brave person for doing this. I wish you the best n your recovery and your endeavors.
I s'pose I'll do one, too. So I had a crisis of faith in high school, and told my parents about it at the time. My dad was fine with it, because I told them all about what I had researched in my search search for something I could believe in. That effort meant something to him, but my mom was distraught by this revelation. She said it felt like someone in the family had died. She asked me to reconsider the Catholic faith, and for a while I tried. I even read Thomas Merton's "Seven Storey Mountain" in my starch for somehing meaningful in the faith. In the end though, I came to the same conclusion, and became a religious mutt with little to no emphasis on my Catholic roots.
The secretive part of this whole ordeal is that I haven't told my parents, especially not my mom. I just don't want to make her cry again. The worst part of this is that I know this will inevitably come out some day, and I have no idea how I'll handle it when it does.

Just don't give up, both of you. You can do anything you set your mind to- recover and even return to faith. Good luck to both of you, even though neither of you need it if you have determination.

The truth is, I'm a lesbian. I'm very conscious about that thought because of various reasons. I keep thinking that people would mock me or bully me because of it. I even looked for a guy and acted like I was in love with him, so people won't think of me as strange. I like that guy though, he's a good person, but I still love girls more. Maybe it was because of what happened before that I come to hate guys. Maybe it was that reason that I avoided having guy friends so much, that I only have one guy in my circle. I'm not ashamed of my sexual orientation. its just that, maybe my friends would think of me as disgusting and isolate me. What's more worse, I like someone within my group. So if she finds out and finds me disgusting, I would be heartbroken. I will never jeopardize our friendship because of an one-sided crush.

Alright. My secret is that I was molested when I was four. No, don't worry about me. I was really young so I did not really know what was happening and am not severely traumatized. Nobody knows but me, and it took me a long time to realize what really happened. It's sickening. It truly is, and if anyone knows what it's like, I'm sorry. I feel sort of uncomfortable sharing this, because I know it's a topic that makes other people uncomfortable... But there it is. That's one of my longest kept secrets.

I think I'm in love with my cat.

>>6 That's pretty hot.

some events in the past
and someone that was an important person (someone in my family) broke something unfixable and kinda ruined how i think and behave
i hate most people now,i always put up a mask so that my family and friends don't think of me as someone dysfunctional and weird
but in reality i hate most people

>>5 Same thing happened to me when I was seven.

My secret is that I used to be a kleptomaniac, I still am and have to fight it when I see something "shiny". I've stolen anything from change to pawning my dad's old wedding rings to pay for school. I feel horrible about it, and I've decided to leave him a note in his grave, because that is something I could never bring myself to tell him...

I hope that the good that I have been trying to do in my life will out weigh this horrible thing I've done. However, it will stay with me forever.

D.I.D. Switch in the middle of posts, posting fast and concise so that I don't decide not to. Lots of gossip spread about friend, by other alter. She doesn't know, her reputation is nearly gone.
Used to be a regular, at least another alter was. Though stuff happened.

i remember my past, because i was in a accident i dont like to talk about, im in the police training force..... i remember everything my hair is different everything is different about me.... n one will believe me so i wont tell the other side of the story.
this person he was black hair and glasses and he caused my memory lose.
im working with him now and he holds a grudge against me.
i dont remember everything i dont remember the people in my life but i keep on having random deja vu.
people come up to me and ask if its me, i dont know them.
i found out my mother wasn't my mother and she was working with the guy that has a grudge
i feel bad that i used to have good friends and a good job but now i dont remember them.

I can't trust people, I have a fear of trust and imperfection. I've been homeless, and almost killed 54 times.

You aren't supposed to mess with things that don't exist. And it just so happens that none have seen my friend (lets call her C) C's parents are not the...most favorable people, drunks and druggies. anyway every day I would talk to and hang around C for hours on end me and her did all these advetures and fun stuff in the forest by my house, well oneday she didn't show up. days went by she showed in my house (no one was home thank god) after a few....choice words of my own....she hugged me and whispered in my ear. "You devoted so much to what should be gone, now I must go where the roses rest." she then walked out the door and into the night with a quiet "goodbye...Y"

if you read this C. I found the place the roses rest.

I promised someone important that I wouldn't cut myself any more, but I still do. It's not much, it really only started up again recently, but I'm scared that they'll find out. I'm actually quite suicidal and self-loathing, but no-one else knows. I don't want them to, they'll poke and prod and won't leave me alone. I just want to be alone to do my own things instead of going out and having to do what other people want me to do.

I'm scared of most adult men, specifically fathers... that's all the details I'm giving you people though.

I only have a vague memory of the past week, let alone my childhood, which I do not remember at all. I have the hardest time holding onto productive or happy memories. I don't know if this is a result of it, but I also feel very disconnected/detached/disassociated from people, whether they are my family or friends. One of my grandparents is immobile from stroke and all I feel about it is annoyance and the desire to manipulate the situation even though I am the favoured grandchild and the closest one to her; it's that 'bad'. I also don't feel any sort of attachment with anyone even though I suppose I am consistently showered with love. ... I don't know the reason for any of this, but I just can't help it and so I am scared of myself sometimes.

I always feel alone, and socialize as much as possible hoping one day it will stop.

I really dislike it when parents spoil their children to the point where their kids become extremely arrogant and obnoxious, no matter what age they are.

I have a tendency to turn things sexual with all female friends I have. Sometimes I do it on purpose, but most of the time I don't mean to. I consider it a blessing and a curse because things are fun, but the friendships never last long because things get awkward.

At school I always try to act fun and outgoing but the truth is that my mother is an alcoholic. i truly love her when shes sober but when she drinks i cant even stand hearing her voice or looking at her. i hate being in the same room with her. this is why i hate christmas.

>>20 same, except my mom takes pills. my stomach turns when shes around me, but when shes sober its great because i really miss her. i've never empathized more with someone on here.

i think i'm Bisexual? I'm not sure and i can't talk to people about it because i'm scared they'll judge or change the way they treat me, and if i'm wrong then they might think i was doing it for attention then definitely judge me. I keep having relapses of cutting, its been alright for a while now but i'm worried i might start again. I need someone i can trust and just be myself with, but my ex boyfriend cheated on me repeatedly after telling me that he would never do it again and now i have difficultly letting people in for fear of them leaving me.

im scared of growing up

When I look at the mirror I feel like I'm just another static. I was a victum of child abuse when i was younger, and I never really dealt with it. I turned to anime I thought if I could smile and pretend everything was fine I would feel better. I thought if I changed my reality everything would be fine.

I honestly, within my deepest heart of hearts, believe that I have an ability. I hope I'm not becoming schizophrenic or anything like that. But if I concentrate hard enough, I feel a whirlpool of energy swirling on my forehead, my hands get excessively warm, and my body feels like it weighs less than a feather.

I know this is a secrets thread, but if anyone can help me.... because I am really scared about this.

I am a very manipulative person. I am able to sense emotions, see through facades and identify weaknesses. I used to turn those weaknesses against others just to see others squirm, because it was the only time I felt true happiness.

My ex-boyfriend helped me see that manipulating people was wrong. I broke up with him two years ago because I felt that he was too good for me, he deserved someone better than a lying, manipulative person like me.

I still manipulate people and hit their weak points, but I only do it in retaliation now. When someone tried to humiliate me in front of the class, I endured it and made it look like I was fighting back tears when I was really fighting back laughter.

I ran out crying. I told people how betrayed I was, how I had to put up with the girl's trash talk (true, but it was not about me, it was about some slut I couldn't care less about but defended because my ex said 'it's the right thing to do'). I dropped my confident mask a little to reveal a broken face, but that too was a mask. Eventually, everyone began isolating that person. We still talk and hang out, but when we are in a group I make sure to exclude her subtely. I know she feels excluded, and I take pleasure in her emotional pain.

I know I'm not sane. Some days (like today), I feel guilty about my actions. But I know this guilt will not last forever, and I will go back to being my asshole manipulative self.

A while back, I was having an episode and I completely panicked over my plans for the future, because I have no idea what I want to do with my life or what my identity really is. In my head, I started making plans to tie up all my loose ends after graduating highschool in a few years, and commit suicide. I'm in the progress of writing novels... which, in this case, I was planning on having my family posthumously publish, with any profits being split between my parents and one other person I care deeply about. My parents would get 1/4 of the money, and the other special person would get 3/4 plus the rights to the characters and universe I created... and hopefully the books would make enough money to give my parents a cushy retirement, and my special person enough money to go through college and all that with no or minimal debt, at least. I don't think it's a plan I'll go through with, but it's stuck in my mind, and if I could guarantee that it would be successful, I'd probably still do it.

My secret is my fear of being normal. I understand that everyone is "special in their own way," but I always feel someone always has something extra special about them, and I don't. I'm actually jealous of some of the people in this thread who actually have someting to post about, yet I have nothing. Sometimes, I try to go out of my way to be different. I convince myself I am what I am not. Once it comes time to tell somebody what I convinced myself to be, I can't. That's when I start talking to myself, playing out the situations of what would have happened if I did tell anybody. Somehow, they still give me the slightest of enjoyment. Even now, I feel to chicken to use my username to post this.

I only just now realized after writing this how edgy it sounds.

People are sharing some dark stuff here, so I thought I would too. Just to give some taste of what kind of people are here. I often imagine killing people, indiscriminately, usually as means for me to gain something. I've hurt people before, both mine and anyone else lives are not of any kind importance to a monster that I may be. Just because I don't care about my life doesn't mean I am gonna throw it away, surely I won't start just murdering people for the kicks of it. Though, do not get me wrong, the toughts I have and the things I do to others seem and are normal. I am this way, and in no way do I hate myself or regret something. Guess, while I might be bad at something else that other can do, I excel at being a predator who thinks only of his survivor. Ahh, also I have extreme interest in joining a crime syndicate of sorts. Just to kill some time.

Edgy is a nice way to describe, but only when someone is faking it. Then again, we are not in a place where truth and trust is in heaps.

>>28
I believe I understand what you mean, and feel a similar way. You want an identity, to be interesting yet you try and you get some boring, mundane, recycled motion/phrase that nobody else really wants.
Yet it's funny, the paradox of wanting to be ab-normal being your abnormality. As then in furfilling your desire you may lose it and therefore either go back and forth or remain constantly 'normal'.
Wanting something unique, even if it is a bad thing, is, I'd say, pretty normal.

Sorry I'm not posting a secret, but by putting anything like that down, i see it as too insignificant or self pitying to post. Thats not an insult to anyone on this thread, just an explanation for my own actions.

Then that IS your secret. Your secret is that you can't share secrets for fear of them becoming insignificant. You refuse to say anything because by saying it, you are forced to accept what has transpired. You're afraid that what you feel is meaningless so you keep it bottled up like a personal treasure. But it haunts you. But we, the users of this thread, accept that you have a secret you are unwilling to share and we want you to know that what you feel is not, in any way meaningless, insignificant, or unacceptable.

This is my secret. I'm cheating on my abusive girlfriend who lives with me, with a girl 7yrs younger than me who I may never actually see even though she lives a full days drive from me. But at least the new girl talks to me and tells me about her day and thinks about me ever.

I shit in the copier

Hello again. It's been a long time. I created this post. It's been over a year since I made the attempt on my life. I just wanted to tell a little bit of what's gone on since then. My brother hated me for a very long time. My best friend that I mentioned asked me to marry her after I was released. I'm seeing a doctor every week to talk about what in my life lead me to where I was. And I've come to learn something.
I'm not alone. The people closest to me have been helping me ever since. My brother doesn't hate me. But he is still careful around me. He acts like I'm made of paper. That just a wrong look could hurt me. But when he looks away he looks really sad. Depressed even. I don't know if that's my fault or not. But it probably is. Christmas this year was hard. My grandparent are very religious and don't exactly look kindly on same sex couples so I just didn't go this year. Or to Easter last year. Or thanks giving. Or to my family's birthday celebrations. I used to go. And I used to bring my best friend with me. She made me feel safe. Still does I suppose considering she's going to be my wife.

Thank you for your support. And for keeping this post (mostly) alive.

hey, the dollars are awesome, and so are you , and so is life ^^
Every moment is enjoyable , because you do exist

I always feel unbearably lonely and disconnected from life. But I'm also afraid of having a friend because I think I'd become too attached and drive them away and then everything would hurt worse.

I always denied that there were things wrong with me in fear of actually getting diagnosed. Now, I know there are things wrong with me, but I still can't get diagnosed. But maybe I really don't have anything and it's a delusion.

I always get really down at least once a day because I know I have so much to offer to someone, but I have no one to offer it to. I also know I need someone with the same amount of care as me, if even more.

I think that's it for now.

In middle school about 4 yrs ago,I was having a really hard time, and I think I might've developed depression although I wasn't diagnosed.

Anyways, I was washing the dishes and a glass cup broke, as I went to pick it up, I got the sudden urge to cut myself. And I did. It wasn't on the wrist but it was kinda deep on my arm.
I remember I stood there just watching in satisfaction as the blood flowed on the kitchen floor. I bandaged myself and to this day, I've never told anyone. My family never noticed. That was the only time I ever cut.

Last year, I was told I was developing depression symptoms. Some days are harder than others. And there have been quite a few times where I've been wanting to cut myself. But I don't. I look at my scar (it's tiny now) and I remember the people that have helped me one way or another.

It's been so long since I've told anyone the truth of how I feel sometimes. But at the same time, I've been telling everyone the truth. White lies, half lies and twists of the real thing.
But I also think others are partly to blame. I blame them and myself for being constantly misunderstood. Assumed to things that aren't true.
I hated it when I told the truth, and everybody believed I was lying. No matter what I said. I think that's what started this train of thought.

I think A certain someone is sexy. But I'm paranoid about saying his name anywhere on and offline. But the way he speaks to the crowds. Loud. Proud. Concise. Effeciant. His hair and mustache and uniform. He makes me quiver.

Man, a lot of these posts remind me of how I was in middle and highschool. I was pretty insecure and unsure of certain things back then. But now three years out of highschool some of those things ended up resolving themselves. for example back then I had thoughts similar to posts >>22, >>23, >>26, >>28, >>29, >>31 >>37 and >>39.
Now though I've had/have thoughts similar to posts >>16 and >>18.

My secret. I've accepted who I am for the most part now and I'm not really insecure about myself emotionally wise anymore nor am i worried about fitting in with the majority. I'm more sure of the decisions I make and have started to be more carefree and actually choosing to do things I want to do when I want to. I don't feel guilty anymore for not being like "everybody else" because I realized it's better to be myself than to fake being someone I'm not just to fit in. I am more comfortable saying "no," than i used to be (basically I've overcome peer pressure).
I don't like spending money and if ever opportunities come where I get to save it i try to take advantage of those opportunities. I think I'm doing pretty well for myself lately... which makes me think something's just coming around the corner to ruin it all.

Mine is when I was little I was very sensitive and I got made fun of a lot so I hid my feelings and it's to much to hold inside its been 6 years since I showed them I get mad that I can't show them and I hold my hand in to a fist and I can't let go of it know I don't now what to feel now nobody knows how I feel it really sucks

I don't have any secrets I'm generally an open person