Hi Dollars. I was having trouble about how I can I join this organization(If it really is one) coz I would really love to join. But anyways..here's the real reason I posted this. You see I have trouble accepting what I really am, physically and as person. I was bullied in the past and my childhood is all messed up..I wanted to escape that PAST but it seems that I'm falling farther and farther . I have pffd,see? I dont know if any of you know what it means but it is a disability. As I grow older, the more I realize that I am different the more I can't stand it. I know I should accept it and I have found good friends to support me now but I dont know. The more they say that it's okay the more I hate myself. I feel like I'm a burden to everyone around me. I tried to think positively, but if someone just spoke badly of me I breakdown again(I'm too fragile, I know) .. what am I saying? ..maybe this is the wrong site to post this but.. it's just that most of the time I try so hard trying to be accepted by other people that I even forget to accept myself. (Or rather I don't wanna remember..)
Please help.

Okay. Accept yourself then. Also, if people who you don't care about don't accept you, why the actual fuck should you care? If you try so hard to be accepted by everyone, your friends will feel that you're just treating them the same as everyone else. They won't feel special anymore. Another point: don't try and escape your past. Wtf. That shit is set in stone. Use your past experiences and past mistakes to make progress today and improve the you of today. Don't run away; you're too slow to outrun the feelings of the past. Why won't you accept yourself? Are you seriously that desperate to be flawless? Christ. If that's how you feel, you're basically denying the existence of every single human on this planet; no one is perfect. Sorry, but if you won't accept me, it doesn't mean that I'll start hating myself. Learn the flaw in that way of thinking.

But Im scared..of accepting myself..I'm scared of being different. Coz then my self esteem would sink to the bottom coz I'd see how different I am from everyone else. .I'm scared coz I'd be alone (coz I'd probably think that I'm a burden to everyone else)and I dont wanna be alone.. I'm one hell of a coward am I?

Everyone is beautiful in their own way, you are beautiful.
And i can sort of understand what you're going through! I am bullied at school too, but after some time, i just realised that people are probably having a rough time at home or somewhere else.
Also, you are not a coward, everyone gets scared/anxiety all the time. And these are regular emotions to feel! But if you are that worried about what those around you are saying, could you maybe get some earbuds and listen to some music to block the people out?

Yeah.. i'll try that..thanks :)

No problem! :D
Stay strong friend! ^-^