So i've recently found out my girlfriend cheated on me with some other guy whom she had feeling for but never happened. when she cheated on my she gave him her "golden ticket". IDK what to do. i mean i don't wanna lose her because i fell in love with my best friend and made her my girlfriend but at this point all my friends tell me to just walk away and not forgive. i just feel wrong dropping all the time i've invested into being with her with also balancing personal life with work life. i just need some real advice. not some drunk "just leave her and go F*** some random girl and man up" type of BS....

Best I can say is when it comes to throwing away your time together, she kinda made that decision for you. When people say you should walk away, what they really mean is you shouldn't forget to value yourself. It's ultimately up to both of you what actually happens. But in the long run, focus on yourself.

thanks FindMuck

How did you find out? What are you referring to by "Golden Ticket"?

You should forgive her but leave her cause she is only gonna keep cheating on you.which will leave you in a really fucked up position.

@Anonymous her virginity also i have friends who were looking out for me while i was gone. saw the guy go into her house and she wasnt very quiet

thankyou Starrz

From what I've read, my impression is that she does not value you the same way you value her. I'd love to tell you to just walk away but that is only because I, myself, have no tolerance or sympathy for cheaters. However, I feel like that is ultimately your decision to make. For now (especially if you feel heartbroken in any way), I'd suggest surrounding yourself with people you know who truly care about you (friends/family/etc) and keeping yourself busy with doing things (school/work/hobbies) to distract yourself from any negative feelings. Eventually, you will realize yourself whether you truly need her in your life.

@Decimate

i know i dont need her, but what makes me want to stay is that i want her. not for lust, but for what we've made from a simple friendship to now. theres still a fire in my heart but even now how im across the pacific and shes state side, i still feel like shes currently banging this guy. when i was home in november, it seemed like nothing happened. she didnt seem to act different or anything but i just knew something was off

Hmm (my opinion so feel free to disregard any or all of what Im about to say)
I'd more or less forgive her but never forget what she did and wouldn't take her back. And yes it would probably hurt a lot. Best of luck

I agree with Starzz suggestion. She isn't woth it and staying would only drag you down. But if you can't find peace within yourself by donig something else maybe you could confront her with that subject, talk about it and then breake up.

>>9 It's understandable that you still have sentimental feelings towards her considering she was your best friend. But does she feel the same way towards you? And was there any reason for her to cheat? A relationship is a two way street. If she's not on the same page as you are, then I can't say that relationship is worth maintaining. Communication is a key component to a happy relationship so if anything, you should be able to talk to her about what's bothering you and why. Someone once gave me a protip that may or may not be applicable to your situation: If you're wondering whether to break up or not, it's probably time to break up.

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Dunno if this thread is still relevant, but I'll assume so.

>>1 I actually had a friend go through a strangely similar occurrence this summer. Likewise, we told him to leave her. He adamantly refused, kept pestering her, she and her group of friends decided to mock his begging for her back though, and she proceeded to tell him she "didn't love him anymore". And now, they're back together. Of course I disapprove of that.

When you enter into a relationship with someone, you're being honest and vulnerable to and with them. In my opinion, the two most important virtues in a relationship of any kind is honesty and respect. When your partner cheats on you, they're taking advantage of and/or destroying both the honesty and respect that was in your relationship.

When you said you didn't want to leave her because of the amount of time and heart you invested in her, it makes sense. But also consider that you've spent that much time on and with her, and she willingly traded it all for a moment with another person.

Have you confronted her about this? How did she respond, if you did? Did she give an excuse and/or apologize? If she gave an excuse at all, I don't think there is no reason to stay with her. There is no excuse for actions like that, only acceptance and apologies. If she made an excuse with you in it ("you weren't here"), then you really need to leave her. Not to mention the fact that she did this with the knowledge that you were not present means she may think she can take advantage of you or manipulate you.

I would not continue to invest any more time or heart with her, because the the cheating may happen again. I know you don't want to see the time you spent with her as wasted, but it isn't. That time wasn't wasted, it was kept and logged in both of your books. You guys had a great time, but it's time to find someone else with more respect for your heart and your time.

>>12's advisor's advice is very good.

But enough of my opinion. The only advice I gave to my friend when this happened to him was this: you're a grown and mature adult now, you can make you're own choices. You know what we (your friends) think and our opinions of your situation, but this is your life and your choice. Just know that whatever you decide, to pursue or leave, that you must stay firm in your choice and what you believe even through the toughest of consequences.

Good luck, mate.

Just wanna say thank you to everyones advice. I broke up with her last night and although i feel broken and shattered, i feel like when i recover i can truly appreciate freedom from pain. Once again thank you my fellow dollars i am truly grateful for a family like you

Proud of you for making that decision, couldn't have been easy. I would have decided the same thing if it was myself, cheating is something I find too hard to forgive. It's not worth investing time into someone who wont invest back. Best luck on the road to recovery!

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