Ok, so I play the violin. But I haven't been doing so well. And to explain the reason why I think I'm not doing so well in the violin is cuz of this.So, a while ago, I moved to a different state and fell into a depression. And you guys who know what a legit depression feels like, you know its horrible. One of the lasting side effects is frequent gaps in my memory, because of the fact that my brain does not wish to remember this or that ever again. In fact, for the last two years I have been in that depression, its all really murky. And now, my brain has gotten to the habit of falling asleep while I'm trying to learning something. Or especially when I have to memorize something for school. So during my violin lessons, I've been mentally falling asleep, even when I think that the piece I'm playing is really nice. My parents didn't know I was in a depression, and told me to quit the violin if I wasn't going to make decent progress in it. I do not want to quit. My violin tutor has started getting frustrated with me. She says I have great potential, but I'm only using about 5% of my potential because I'm not using my brain. My parents are telling me to straighten up, or I wont have lessons ever again. I want to get better, and I want to continue my lessons, but no one understands, and I have too much pride to actually spell it out to them.

What should I do? Keep struggling with my violin lessons, or quit and watch all my friends progress further without me, in the violin. Both ways, there is a chance I will be left behind again.

I do not know what depression feels like, but I myself am a fellow string instrument player. Seven years of viola taught, and a year now into cello self learning.

I can speak from experience that being taught/tutored makes the learning process a lot easier, but its not impossible to learn on your own. If you own your violin, and your parents do decide to cut off your lessons, I'd encourage you to continue to teach yourself if you truly want to learn. It is possible that you can get back into lessons later after showing that you are dedicated to learning.

I don't know what all you are going though, but if you ever need an ear to listen that will not judge you, you can always contact me at boric.dollars@gmail.com.

Thank you, Boric. That helped a lot, I'll definitely email you when I'm feeling down again.