This is just me venting. If you wanna offer advice, go ahead.

My girlfriend is in a pretty bad place right now. Her cousin has to stay over at her house often and he treats her like shit. She's scared to dress feminine because of him. And she's told me that she has though about killing herself a few times. I don't know how to help her. I can't really do anything about her cousin and how am I supposed to talk somebody out of suicide if dying is constantly on my mind too? I hate to admit it, but she's the only reason I'm even keeping myself alive right now. So it's really scary that I might lose her.

I don't really have much hope for my future. I can't talk. Who is gonna want to hire somebody who can't talk, can't work with a team or work with customers, and panics often? Nobody is helping me with this stupid fucking disorder. Everyone tells me to deal with it myself. My parents, my teachers, and people around me. They always try to pressure me into talking and I wish it helped, but it's only making things worse. I ask for help, but I keep getting denies it. Nobody understands that I can't do this on my own. Without help, I can't get better and I won't have a future. I'm never going to be the engineer I've dreamed of being if I can't work with people. I can't do it. No employeer will want me. My own family doesn't want me. They don't notice when I'm gone and they've told me that things are better without me there. Nobody cares about me except three friends and strangers on the internet.

I'm so pathetic. I can't keep my girlfriend happy and wanting to live. I can't get myself to do normal things everybody else can do. I hate it. I hate it so much. Why won't anybody help me when I keep asking for help? I've been trying so hard to get better and it's not working. I'm so tired of suffering and having people ignore my cries for help. Why can't they see that I need it?

You know, Idk how much this will help but you're a Dollar. It's our job to show the world the it is not as bad as they think it is. I can't say I can fully understand your situation... But you sound like someone I know who feels that way all the time.... IDK why people won't help and situations like this prove the world is as bad as it seems... As much as it seems useless and sure this might sound empty and not what you're looking for but are you going to let these hardships prove to the world is as bad as it seems or are you going to take this a make the world not as bad as it seems?
Once again sorry if this wasn't what you were looking for. I will say though, I, as a fellow Dollar am willing to help you in whatever way I'm currently capable of.
Shoot me a message if you want to chat: Areigarei.dollars@outlook.com

kill both of them

Yo EpicKT,

I just want to say... you will make it through this. For my own reasons, I went down the path of suicide. I'd thought about it everyday for as long as I could remember until one day, things spun out of control. The only clear answer to my problems was to remove myself from them.

That can't be the only answer.

Everyday, I wake up and I have to remind myself that I made the right decision to live. My mom called me right before I went through with it, and my deciding to live allowed me to answer the phone.I have to live with that everyday.

If can do this... so can you.

Whatever the obstacle in your life is... there is a strength in you that is shadowed by none. Don't allow the darkness to consume your heart. No matter who is bringing the darkness to you, you have the power to illuminate that darkness. Nothing can stop you if you find it within yourself to want it bad enough.

I encourage you to share this with your girlfriend. I encourage you to share this with yourself, and whoever else would need to see this.

And remember...

The World Is Not As Bad As You Think...

Kazu Hiyori


kazu.dollars@gmail.com

Dear EpicKT
All I can really say it believe in yourself. The girl loves you and you love her. Stick together. Try to listen to her, hug her tight when she is sad and just show her how much she means to you. Be there for her. Try talking to her about that cousin and (if it’s okay for her and she’s ready for it) talk about the subject with her and go to her parents together with her. Then they or your girlfriend should talk to the parents of the cousin too. Let them know how the cousin behaves. The most impotent thing to show your girlfriend is that there are people who want to help her and that she doesn’t have to deal with it on her own.

As for yourself. Don’t tell yourself you’re pathetic. It’s not your fault that you have a disorder or that your girlfriend has problems. You’re not the one at fault here. What you can do is working on making it better like I’ve suggested before. And talk about your problems with your girlfriend. I’m sure she’s willing to help you. Remember you are not alone. Never ever listen to your family when they say they are better off without you. Don’t let family members, Teachers, Students and whoever tells you to “just deal with it” drag you down. Keep doing your thing. Keep dreaming. They are not walking in your shoes. They probably can’t even begin to understand what it feels like to be different. If you want to become an engineer then work towards it. Maybe practice talking and working in groups with your girl and your friends to get more comfortable doing that. You have people who care about you. They might not be blood related but they are family too in a way you know. They all would miss you if you were gone. If you truly want to become an engineer I believe you can. Albert Einstein and Leonardo da Vinci for example had dyslexic and still were truly geniuses who played a big part in history. Not the best examples, I know but still. What I’m trying to say is don’t let anyone or anything stop you from pursuing your dream to become an engineer.
To cut a long story short. Back each other up and make it through together. I know you can. And if you need someone to talk to you always have your friends and us, the dollars.
I wish you the best for the future

Scarface