I feel like an Olympic swimmer in an ocean who is drowning because a 50 lb. iron ball is chained around their ankle; and that that 50 lb. iron ball happens to e themselves.

I know I have what it takes to be successful. I'm CERTAIN of it. But over the course of verbal abuse and the reluctance to do anything because of it, I literally cannot do anything to help myself. I try schedules, alarms at 5:30, hours of reading through articles on how to be productive that aren't helpful because one of the most important steps in it is to have the willpower to do it! I always end up hating myself because of myself when it's all said in done, and I can't even entirely blame technology for this; because even if I remove any and all distractions, I still get nothing done! It's takes a lot of fucking talent to be this useless, for the record, but it's not the type of talent I want.

I have a lot of ideas and a lot of things I want to do and to express myself, but really, I'm stuck. I at least want to be able to get straight B+'s and to be able to go to community college.

Encourage yourself! You seem fairly creative (the first part of your post "I feel like an Olympic swimmer..." is a great example of that). You're only as good as you say you are! If you're certain you can be successful. Tell yourself everyday! Bring yourself up and eventually you'll want to strive for success. It'll make you feel great. I guarantee it! =) Hope this helped.

>>2 Uuuuuugh

That moment, when I realized you compared a 50 pound iron ball to an Olympic swimmer.

Dude, just, use the time you spend trying to increase performance, on doing something.