I find it funny how I type about all of my problems here without any expectation of someone reading and responding to all of my shit, and then someone does. Anyway, this problem happens to a lot of people, and I am by far not in any special case; it's just taking a toll on my already non-existent sanity.

I was going to go into this long story that would go on for at least 4 solid paragraphs, but I decided to let you keep your sanity (and possibly your tears) and ask you a "simple"question: What would you do if your dad is having an affair with your mothers cousin who's halfway across the world, and now your parents nightly ceremony of screaming like banshee's while throwing death threats at each other is driving you mad and full of broken tears?

I would run to some place safer, but the thing is, I'm a minor, I literally cannot go anywhere. I can't go to my aunt and uncles because they're too old and live too far away to take me to school every morning for 2.5 years. And I can't drag my friends into this; they through enough shit as it is. Now what? The only other options I have are to either reveal my entire inner insanity so I get some solace in the mental hospital, live out on the streets, or to live at my public library and school and lock myself in my room for the rest of the time. (trust me, i'm already trying the last part)

I remembered when my parents fought, all I did was drown them out and watched my shows or listened to music until they stopped. I am someone who doesn't really care at all and wait for things to pass on by. But sadly I don't know what to say I just let them scream at each other so they can just say what they need to say. And in the end they stopped and everything went back to normal.

Sadly your parents cheated on one another and my parents fought because my mom suspected my dad cheated on her. I don't know what to really say but wait things out I guess. Sorry if I wasn't much help but in times like this you really need someone to talk too and just let things out. No one really knows how to handle this and trust me you need to keep your sanity because if you don't, you might regret it... Trust me.

Well...umm...err....
Honestly, I have never been through this nor have I ever have been somewhat involved in these matters.

But, I think its safe to say that everyone wants a normal, happy life. You know, the happy-end cliché dad pushing the happy daughter on the swing while the mother laughs along with the entire family thing.

Throughout my life, I have observed on how people feel and react, and I realized, that being the most normal will bring the most happiness. Don't get me wrong though, as I absolutely hate boring days. But what I am talking about is going to work/going to school, hang out with friends, keep in touch with loved ones, and have fun in general while at the same time, being a productive member of our so cherished society.

Moving on to this matter: I'm not sure why your dad is cheating or even why your mother's cousin isn't even doing anything, but I'm pretty sure it isn't a great life for you.
Moving on, whatever you do, DO NOT AND ABSOLUTELY DO NOT lose your sanity, because you WILL END UP REGRETTING IT. You don't want to hurt your friends and relatives right? Then don't do it. The consequences: depression, rejection, sadness, anger, regret...In general, society won't accept them.

If you really want to solve the problem, you'll have to calm one of them or risk it and even enter the crossfire yourself. Honestly, I'm not sure this is a good idea. Try taking a more positive way. Family movie weekends, family dinners, family fun...all that good stuff. However, be aware of their feelings too; after all, you are their last hope to turn the tables on this great ordeal.

And if all else fails, you'll have to resort to...

1. Something that will calm your nerves. Step back and realize the positivity in your community like hanging out with friends, having fun, listening to music, watching TV. Yoga and peaceful music on a calm day really gets my stress from school down.

2. Take your negative emotions from their fights or from anything and transform those emotions into something that they or anyone will be proud of. Strive to win tournaments, championships, and lead the way as a role model for others like you to follow. It may be hard, but I think with extreme determination, moral support, and help when in need, you can achieve things you thought you couldn't.


Hope this helps you. Sorry if none of my suggestions actually work. I'm simply can't relate to the trouble you have been enduring. But if they do, Ganbatte! I wish you good luck, and may the odds be ever in your favor.

"We must accept finite disappointment, but we must never lose infinite hope."
-Martin Luther King Jr.

"Fall down seven times, stand up eight."
-Japanese Proverb

"Just DO IT!"
-Shia Labeouf

✧*｡٩(ˊᗜˋ*)و✧*｡

P.S. I respect you for sharing such a personal problem toward the many public. It tells me you are confident and determined to solve this. Not many people have the courage to share these kinds of things.

If it makes you feel a little better, I'm probably one of them.
(￣▽￣)

>>3 Thanks, but I only share on this anonymous website because it's a hassle to tell people who are around me everyday because I know that they're going to treat me differently - I simply don't want it to flow that way. As for the other pieces of advice, this is simply the bomb going off after the fuse has finally dwindled down. They've been fighting for as long as I can remember, so I think we can all agree that a divorce is just what we need. I've been working on #2 but it's for myself, not for them.

>>2 It's the same thing with my parents, they fight at night and then in the morning they avoid each other while acting normal. And seeing someone else with a similar story is comforting, so you did help. I would be listening to music but because I do just that and always drown them out, my mom got pissed off and confiscated it.

Pretty fucking ludicrous though. They're blaming my misery on everything that's not their fighting. I wouldn't worry about my sanity by the way, this balancing act of staying "gray" is something that I'm used to. I don't mean keeping my world gray by the way, heavens no.

hello there, i have been in similar situation, although it's kind of depressing also. here's my story, my father kind of have a affair with another women behind my mom's back, that time i was just like twelve y/o so i didn't understand much about marriage and all, but they always argue with each other.

sometimes i would always hide behind the door or in closet(lol) cause i'm afraid. then my father get out from our house and went away with the mistress and let my mom's bear all of my siblings alone. it's kinda hurt to remember when she cries alone, and i couldn't do anything at that time.

later after the year, my father ask for divorce to marry off the women, and my mom reluctant to agree, but he insist too. i hate my dad that time and that women for ruining my family, i know i have a perfect memory when were having family dinner and laugh together. it's kinda sad how one could just leave everything behind.

i have six siblings, and i'm the youngest. he took me, my brother that years older than me and my older sister that two years older than me with him. although it almost ironic and tragic to said, we only spend a few days with him before he passed away because of sickness.

it's a dilemma when my dad that i began to hate suddenly pass away before i could understand anything. i grew up and missed his warmth presence and all, even if he still alive and be with another women, sometimes i just wish that he would, still be alive and i could hear his voice again.. i love my mom. i love him. i love my family, and my family won't be the same, ever again.

all left is just a fragments of memories back when i have a complete and perfect family..

i hope that you would be strong to overcome your life. even if you would come to hate your parents at some point, trust me that once you lost them, even when you hate them, you will feel the same as me, you will miss them..

I don't have experience with your particular brand of stressor, but I've been through a few dark times myself.. The most apt explanation I can give is this. We all go through crucibles - of different sizes and shapes. How we emerge is what defines us. You can get tattered and torn, tossed around and beaten. But you will emerge out of the crucible and the knowledge you've gained will have strengthened you. I'm a bit intoxicated right now so I won't ramble. But just know you have people who you can talk to - hell, that's probably one of the reasons this group was created. That being said, if you need to talk, or vent, just hit me up at ignis.dollars@gmail.com. I'm sorry you're going through this. But you will make it through.

Do not get involved in your parents' fights. It could be dangerous for you, and their problems should never be your problems.
If you hear them fighting at night, drown them out. Do something you find comforting, watch a show, listen to music, do homework, read, anything.
I so much wish that seven years ago, before my parents divorced and were still fighting, I could have had a pair of headphones of my own.

Spend time out of the house when you can: not only at the library (like you said) but with friends, doing things that make you happier.

Don't try to run away or land yourself in an institution. As stressful as your home life is, it is safer and healthier than any other option at the moment.

If you get the chance (that is, if there's a truly calm moment in your house and you feel safe doing it), mention your feelings to your parents: that you like it when the house is this calm.
If the fighting ever gets physically or sexually violent, please call authorities, especially if your parents try to involve you.

I'm so sorry you're going through this.

>>5 I know I'm gonna miss my parents a ton when they go my dad might be an alcoholic, and my mom may biased beyond comparison but I know they love me a lot. It's going to be a pain in the ass to be financially independent of them when I turn 18. (especially so since our education says that calculus is more important than how to manage bills) I never hated them though, it's just really... really exhausting being around their unhealthy aura.

>>6 Thanks, I really appreciate that. :3 I know that everything is slowly changing and morphing me- everyone, in fact. You needn't feel sorrow for my misery though.

Yep, our role as their child, we just have to put up with it and only could hoped for everything to turn normal back, which in reality wasn't likely to happen. But still hope and pray for that.

I wish you all the best and be strong buddy :) all of us can be strong.