Hi, guys, I'm not sure if you guys know or even read my posts in the random post board, but if you do, I'm sure you know that I'm a total workaholic when it comes to my academic career. Well, I've been gradually getting worse. I wanted to get all A's this semester, and truly, I still do. It's just I have a D in one class right now, and my grade dropped to a C (79%) in chemistry and I don't know how to help myself.

I am very good about studying, doing my homework, using analysis, taking notes, going online for help on certain topics, etc. I do basically everything and I try very hard and I do it with goals in mind. I've set high standards for myself and would like to go to universities/colleges that were made for people who work hard like me. That's my goal. All I really care about is education.

That being said, education is not my whole life. It is a very good aspect of my life, but it is not the embodiment of my whole life. I'm so sorry, I feel like I'm dodging what I'm trying to ask.

Look, lately, I've been feeling really down about things. Ever since my grades started dropping, I just started feeling really bad and I know I should not be beating myself up, but it's very hard not to, when I want to get the best. I want to surpass my current abilities and reach a higher level. I don't know if maybe that's a bad thing or a good thing, but I think it's good, because I've been like that my whole life. Why would it start affecting me now?

The only thing I would say that really does affect me is the amount of stress I am under and the amount of sleep I get. The stress is unbearable and the amount of sleep I get is not substantial. I really feel like I'm getting worse and worse and going into a downward spiral, which is not good. I am always very happy, but I am getting sadder and sadder by the minute. I've never experienced such a feeling before. It's affecting me so badly. I don't know what to do.

If not the stress and bad sleep though, I do want to say I think it could be another factor. I am usually fine with not being around people. I know myself very well and it's safe for me to say that I would be fine without having any friends. It would clear out a lot of my lunch schedule, so I could work some more, so it really wouldn't bother me. But the fact is, I do have friends. I have two friends I hang out with everyday. You know and at this point, it's really an obligation. I know a lot about my best friend and she knows a lot about me. Our new friend will be the same. Am I happy in this environment? I am really not sure. It's confusing. I am progressively wishing I was not around them. They are making me feel bad and maybe for dumb reasons, but I feel like they don't really care much about me. I cannot stand it when friends do something in secret. They have been whispering some stuff (WITH ME THERE!) and it bothers me. I don't know why it bothers me, not the whispering, I mean it's pretty obvious why that would bother me, but I'm talking about them in general. I guess right now I just feel like I have no one. It's a bit selfish, but I want someone to ask me, "Are you okay?", "Do you need any help?", "How has your day been going?" , "What can I do to make you feel better?" I want words of encouragement right now, but no one gives them to me. I just, I guess I want someone to talk to. But someone to really talk to. And I don't know if that'll help me or not, but even just writing this has made me feel a bit better.

And so I'm asking you guys, what do you think? What do you think I need to get rid of for a bit while I try to bring myself back towards positivity?

identity Crisis

No. You just probably need to approach this differently.

>>2>>3 More insight please???

Well~ any questions following the line "I've been like this my whole life" is almost always a sign of identity crisis
Basically, your conception about yourself (e.g: I'm like this and that) is starting to get out of whack
General advice would be to try and do lots of different things, but really~
As someone going through some sort of identity crisis right now, I'm refraining from giving advises. Apologies.

I know what that's like. The feeling when your grades drop is horrible, especially when people have expectations.

I think that if you work hard, and do your best, you should not feel bad about it. You've done your best, no one can ask any more of you. Friends who are genuine are hard to come by. Those types of people who would always be there for you no matter what you go through, that is very hard to come by. I would go so far to say that 90% of the people aren't like that. Of course you shouldn't assume what people say behind your back because it may not be what you think. I think take it easy for a bit, learn to relax a bit, maybe change a few things up with study, maybe different methods or approaches, those could really help. E.G instead of studying every little detail you could go over the main concepts first and build it up like that. As for chemistry, it's more practice than knowledge, it's like math and physics, you just practice it a lot, all the equations. Don't stress so much, you shouldn't study to the point of dying, what's the point in that right?

>>6 thank you. I will take your advice. I'm still feeling pretty bad right now, but hopefully I will improve with some time. =)

i believe u are a person who wants good results and anything other than 100% is not good enough? this may be the problem.U will feel like your world is coming apart if your expectation is too high and you dont reach it. how about thinking that 80% is good the higher, the better? and if you dont get at least 80% rememeber to remind yourself that its ok! people learn from their mistakes. So instead of dwelling on the sadness of your score, use your mistakes to improve next time :D i hope this helps! try to develop more positive thoughts yeah?

It's nice to know there are people out there like you who have this willingness to learn, even if school isn't your thing.

But the dangerous part about it is that you can go insane gradually, if not under control. You might try to find out about things which will possibly make you a better human being, or does it? Sure you'll be fine without friends but only to some extent. Maybe you can have free-lance friendships meaning you're unbound, if you can deal with that for a while. You won't have to have everyone's back, but that means no one will have your's. To sum up, just keep your friends for as long as you can, don't give them up for the sake of education. They'll at least hold you back from getting into deep stuff.

You seem like a smart person (you get A's usually so that's pretty good) but you don't seem to be going so well in chem. The same goes for me I barely got C's in that subject. I relied on mates, watched videos, did practice exams, read materials, etc. But this is from someone who wasn't built for any science/maths subjects, I've always been the sort for art, English, law, etc. It is true that not everyone is built to get 99-100 in chemistry, no matter how hard they try.

We're probably about the same age (except I've most likely been in school longer) and the most cliche tip I will give you is...Do not deny yourself sleep, 100%. I swear that even if you can properly function and get good grades in every other subject, chemistry will not let this go by. Get more than 8 hours of sleep. If you haven't made up for the day's sleep, then sleep for about an hour during the early afternoon. Even if you haven't finished studying, get to sleep at the right time or go to sleep early so you can study in the morning.

If you've got stress headaches, sleep on it. Don't make it worse by studying. Don't listen to music at that time either, open your windows if it's not cold and sleep.


And if you're gradually getting depressed, I could say it's a phase but one you can pull yourself you just have to, Stop. Stop thinking about ascending yourself in knowledge. This is the root of depression. Not to say ignorance is always bliss. But you will be grateful of staying the way you are instead of constantly thinking and theorizing. When you start thinking about other people's thinking being naive it's when you have to know you're progressing a bit too fast. Internet. The internet is information over load. Stay away unless you really need it, or if you know you're just going to watch a movie or something silly/fun. There is a pool of information here otherwise. Books. Yeah stick with books if you like to read.

"Discover what will destroy life, and you are a great man!—what will prolong it, and you are an imposter!..." - Lord Lytton

yes as someone who has graduated a levels, i know full well how important high level grades at giving that peace of mind.
objectively, i do believe i had a harder time than you. i wamted to get into the most demanding and competetive course but... i had home issues. i was looking after kids like a group of orphaned kids where im the oldest - we werent really orphans but at the time i felt we might as well be.

the reason? definitely like what some1 here previous said. its the hormones and the identity crisis.

i had less and less grades as the academic year incrased. from best maths award in the year to average grades. i was surpassed by many. i eventually achieved not what i wanted and had to retake a year, that bad. from highest grades and CAT test result to repeating a senior year.

But i am npw definitely more at peace. you might think its pathetic that i failed, even i know i am.
but you wanted calm,

so ill tell you. stop bitching, you will definitely understand that you were just a winging shit a few years from now if u do grow as a person.

take a sport and hobby. make that social group, humans as a species can not live alone - itll also help develope your character profile for interviews :) find a hobby and stick to it, become decent at it and youll be happy. find a volunteering scheme and move your ass, theres a special feeling of helping others for nothing in return.
"sometimes the best way to solve your own problems is to help other people solve theirs" - quote by a great man.
again that will also conveniently help you in the future when you need help or to build your PS.
so sleep well eat well. awake early, train your body to train your mind. always starts from foundations. sleep is most important in stress release. dont get trapped in the stress cycle, act now!

and when you dinally sit down to work... you perform 100 times better when you are at peace. clouded mind clouded judgement
quality over quantity. dont skip social events stick to a srudy scedhule, no more than that. leaisure time is as important. fall in love and be loved. no hippies stuff included. you lil shit, take a moment and just breathe. the world at 5am (sunrise) on top of a hill will fix that problem of yours right up.

>>8 yes I am a bit of a perfectionist. If I don't get A's I'm very sad, but I am starting to make realistic goals for myself. Our midterms are next week, so I'm looking forward to bringing up my grade with those and keeping my mind clear. Thank you.

>>9 thanks for the advice. I don't get headaches (thank goodness) and my mom is making it a point for me to get better hours of sleep so that's good for me. Also, as you say some people are not built for science/maths, it's kind of funny, because I love those subjects so the grade I have kind of makes me feel bad that I'm not doing good in what I'm good at. The friends thing. I'm not necessarily giving them up for education. It's just I don't know right now what's messing with my brain. I don't know whether I'm preoccupied with my friends treating me like a piece of trash lately or if I'm just too stressed from school. This is my problem. I don't really know what I should let go of, what I need to do to clear my mind.

>>11 i do have hobbies, social groups, I volunteer, and I attend social events, so none of that's really going to affect me much =/ Kind of hard for the leisure time just cuz my school decides to stress us out by making us (and I mean the whole school, not just me) do a bunch of work. "Fall in love and be loved" lol, umm, no. Hmm thanks for the thought. XD

>>12 I liked those subjects too, but it ended up being something I did terrible in, it's alright if you feel that way.

I guess I wouldn't be able to give you any good advice about your friends unless I know the situation well. But when you're stressed you do get a bit of paranoia, wondering why things are starting to piss you off or feel rubbished. To clear your mind would be sleep, break from studies every now and then or spend your time slowing down, think about things, your life in general, find ways why things are working out for you like 'this' and not like 'that'.

I go for a walk and sit on a bench just before sunrise everyday, perfect time to do all that. It is when your mind WANTS to think. When you've cleared out some obstacles in your brain before sunset, your day get's cleared of those obstacles as well. Although not every obstacles is overcome, it takes a couple of these sessions to pull through. But do it everyday regardless. And because it's just before sunset, you'd get time to do it before you leave for school. If you don't wanna relax, then run. Running it out is really fun and makes you stronger, even if slightly.


(pre-exam advice^)