I used to come to Dollars before. At first, I was stupid enough to try to be 36 different people. Then, I just came to see how people were doing. Then, I stopped coming here.

I seemed to finally have a life. I fell in love with the person who told me they loved me, I had more friends, I became closer to new people. Yeah. But then, after a summer of nothing but internet and anime, i became really detached from reality.

No one changed, really. Everyone just seemed mature. They all had a level-up. They're turning into adults. It's amazing how they used to be such children... well, they still are, kinda. And I've observed how much attitude and manners they've gained.

But, now that I look at myself, I am a pathetic excuse for a human being. Someone loving me? Pssh. Yeah right. Friends? I don't deserve them. And being matured? I'm an idiot.

I deserve to be killed.
I deserve to be shot in the head by a bullet.
I deserve to be called an idiot and die by running senselessly into the battlefield.

Who cares if I died anyways?

No one will miss me.

And yeah, you can say that all of this is bullshit.

My life is shit. There's no fucking sense to anything.

I am the biggest hypocrite you guys will ever hear of.

I am not nice. I am not kind. I am totally just a bitch looking for attention!

Me? A great friend?
Please, be honest. Me leaving my friends behind is called being a good friend? Me ignoring the love of my life is being kind? Loving?

Fuck me. Yeah.

My classmate asked me if he wanted him to kill me. I told him to go ahead.

.
.
.
.
Fuck, I'm lost. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself.

Like I said, I wasted your time.
I'm not proud of it one bit.

I just wanted to post this because no one can understand how i feel. If you guys think I'm crazy, need to go to the mental hospital or something, you guys should know, I wish I was in a hospital. I know I'm crazy. I know how depressed I am.

I wanna kill myself, to be honest.

TO MAKE PERFECT SENSE...
I was a bitch who believed in love, fairytales, anime fantasies... I didn't beleive in people easily, even if i did. I'm a total hypocrite. When the first ever love of my life said he loved me, I was so happy, I could fly. But then, he started avoiding me. Fuck, he didn't love me. I didn't believe in him anyways but still, I still hoped that he did. I really did. I finally felt special for the first time since third grade.

my old friends, they're the best and most loyal you'd ever met! Fuck all that!! I don't know them! Not anymore! THEY'RE COLD?! Leave them alone. They should be calling ME cold!

Me being sweet?
Me being friendly?

I am the greatest hypocrite! No one knows me and it hurts.
No one cares about me, I don't feel anything about that. Fuck all this!

I wasted your time! Go and tell me to die.
I'll do it.

Go and tell me to get fucked. Get banged. I don't care anymore! WHO CARES ABOUT ME ANYWAYS?! WHO CARES OF WHAT I DO?!

I deserve to be put into hell. I deserve to feel those flames and scream in agony. I, a shameful scum, deserve to be killed by the people who trusted me.

Kill me. Please.

You are a Baka truly . If you think you deserve all this . One advice . Wake up and go beat them all with your mind .

What exactly are you trying to accomplish? Stop judging yourself. Make up your life as death won't solve anything.

What the fuck stop crying you're still too young. Seriously I really won't read this walltext because you're just crying and complaining. No one will solve your problems, get it? NO ONE. If you feel like changing, change! If you feel like doing something, do! Seriously, crying won't solve anything, and there won't be any help better than motivation. The only person that needs to love you is yourself, whoever also likes you is not that relevant. Man up, ffs.

You're saying 'no one cares if I die' then why are you posting this. You're the one who is wasting your time.

If you want to die, then do it. But before you do, I'm going to tell you something. When you die, it's not your pain that will disappear, it's your existence that will.

You don't want to give more pain to other people? Well actually, if you kill yourself you will give more pain to your family, and everyone who knows you and care about you. ^^

Anyway, just think about it again and if you really want to die then I won't stop you because I don't care.

Thank you, everyone.

I'll stop complaining now. *sighs* I guess my life is just getting started. XD

it sure is jiro, it sure is =p
Seriously though, stop caring what other people think, typical people are hypocrites :v
And everyone is one, just how they hide it which is different.

Anyways, "life isn't as bad as you think" - Celty x3

Never give up on life. My teachers from Elementary school used to always teach us that the whole world is like a web. Every single person is a string on that web, and though one string might not seem like much, or even do much-- it effects the rest of the web. One string falls down, and the whole web could, too. Even if you may seem useless or stupid, you're still a part of the web, and every decision you make effects it. If you killed youself, it would destroy your web-- your family, your friends, even acquaintances. Don't ever let yourself think that your actions only effect yourself.

Text me, we both can die together, like a suicide-meetup ;)

come on, it'll be dreadful, but also beautiful

Dont give up man, realize that you need to Change get fresh look eventually completely New one if you molly reduce wight... People will handle you like another Person if you good looking yea Sounds wired but it is so well are you maybe german?

Being a hypocrite doesn't mean you're a bad person, if you know what you've done and there's a way to fix it, then you should go for it because like you said it doesn't even matter anymore, if you don't care about your life then give it another chance, it's a win-win situation! And don't go too hard on you, you don't deserve it, no1 does...

Why is it that you perceive yourself this way? Inferiority complex perhaps?
What is it that you are trying to prove here? To find sympathy? I do not understand.
Of course, this is just a fragment of your sentiments, am I correct? Most people do compare themselves to those greater than them and feel shitty in the end. It's inevitable. But to the point where you 'deserve to be killed' and whatnot is way to overboard.
I do not know what made you think this way but you gotta change it. Everyone has something they lack that others are greater at and vice versa.
All you need is to find your worth then acknowledge it.
If you have the will to do so.

People always tend to see their negative points rather than their good ones, some more, some less.. But as I understood it, there are people who care for you, but you don't know why they should? Well, you don't need to understand, its their choice. If they decide to have you around it means that something would be missing without you. And of course people don't know each other 100%, after all they are just not you. But that is not necessarily a bad thing! And if you want them to know you, you need to give them a chance to, instead of just marking everything as bad. Don't go to hard on yourself, please.

people live for two reasons.

to love others,

and to be loved by others.

you need more of the latter. you need someone to love you.

but there are so many people who already do.

your friends, even if you don't see it yet, love you.

your family, even if they can be harsh sometimes, love you.

the people on this website, who truly do care about you, love you.

you do not deserve to be killed.

you do not deserve to be shot in the head by a bullet.

you do not deserve to be called an idiot and die by running senselessly into the battlefield.

you matter, and there are many people who love you.

Read it = Waste time

Don't + read it = Don't + waste time

Don't read it = Don't waste time

Thus, Didn't read it = Didn't waste time

"Life isn't as terrible as you think" - Celty

"The world is not as bad as you think."- That is the dollars motto. try going around and keeping others from what you went through. they deserve to live as much as you do. were here for you, we will always be here for you, so go out and live your life ike you should.

I deserve to have my testicles torn off my crotch to stop me from passing down my cursed genes in this poor unfortunate world and die from the excessive bleeding. I couldn't give a fuck if I deserved it though; I ain't doing that shit. I wouldn't be able to pleasure myself as well.

Email me if you want real advice. Illupo3450@gmail.com I'll give you the pros and cons of everything. I've been around tyne block multiple times

I truly would like to say that I understand how you feel, but there's nothing further from the truth. However, you should look around at the people who give you the time of day. They are willing to spend some amount of time in your presence. Isn't that enough? So, if you want to take it from me, go out there and return the favor to somebody who may be feeling the same as you right now.

Why would you say such mean things about yourself. you were born into this world and therefor you should strive to live.