ok so, I dunno what I have but here I go. I this web page wher I help anyone and everyone that I can who is struggling with depression. I talk with them one-one in private rooms. it makes me happy I can help and I'm glad I can make others happy but. the problem is. I can't make myself happy. and when I do get happy....I just I try to make myself depressed. I try I ducking try..i try so so hard to make myself feel bad. and I have no idea why. I just want to be alone and depressed for the rest of my life. but I also don't want it. I don't want to be alone. I wanna be happy I wanna smile I want to make others around me happy. but I also want to be depressed. I want to be alone I wan to hate my life and when I see people smile it makes me sick...please PLEASE help me what is wrong with me DX why do I think like this...please If anyone has any answers please tell me.
its gotten to the point where now when I think of something positive the opposite happens completely and everything goes bad. lets say I think i'll have a good day in the morning. when I get home im practicly crying. when I draw a picture of my friends. or do some art work. they say they love it next day they hate me.
please anyone with anwsrs help

Believe me, I understand this feeling. There is nothing wrong with you, I promise. It's a normal feeling , you aren't alone. I really wish I could tell you how to feel better and just be happy, but if I knew that then I wouldn't still be struggling. You'll get through it, just remember something, You Are Unbreakable.