Ever since school started, I feel like killing myself.

It's just that I feel very busy and pressured into getting good grades and trying to get a scholarship. I'm currently a sophomore, but I still have no idea what I want to do in the future. I don't know what college to go to, what field to major in, etc. My parents are constantly pressuring and threatening me to be the highest in my grade and to get a scholarship as soon as possible. I've been told all my life that all I ever need to do is get a scholarship, attend a good college, and earn lots of money.

I am taking about 3 AP classes and 2 Pre-AP class, along with band and debate (band is also for college credit. I don't even like band. Debate is of my own choice). I just feel incredibly overwhelmed and lost and stress and tired...On some occasions, I feel like killing myself would relieve everything. It's not a particularly strong urge, and I don't tell anyone about it. It's just this really dark thought at the back of my mind. There are so many people that are taking the same amount of classes as me, and they look so fine with it. I feel very envious of them for that.

I understand that school is important, but I feel like I am carrying a huge burden on my back. I know it's not something worth killing yourself over, but I feel as though it will somehow make me feel a bit better. And the sad thing is that I've installed a piece in my brain that keeps on urging be to be better and better, and I'm afraid that I can't just delete it.

What do I need to do? I'm sorry if I'm complaining or ranting, but I just need to let this off my chest. Thank you for listening, anyway.

Some other students are happy on the outside but they may be having the same feelings

Do you have time for friends? It sounds like you need to join a group of people who are feeling the same

You might feel better and having friends that could help you study and feel better?

Please try talking to your fellow classmates

Wow. I thought I was the most stressed teen ever. Well, sophomore to sophomore, my teachers say that this year and junior year are super important. I think you might be trying TOO hard for someone who doesn't even know what they want to major in or knows what college they want to go to. Sure, it does seem a little early to know about what college you want to go to/your major, BUT you should have a few options. What are you interested in? Is band class really going to help you? Are any of those AP classes going to help you and are they too much for you to handle or do you think you're fine? If you think your fine, then please do continue, but don't bite more than you can chew.

Your parents need to chill. Look, all of that is very important, but they should not be pressuring you and you need to tell them that you feel like killing yourself, because they will most likely (and if they don't they suck) understand and try to make you less stressed.

DO NOT KILL YOURSELF. High school is the least of your worries. Imagine what life AFTER high school is. =/

Still being in high school you have a lot of time to figure out what you want to do in life. I didn't take a heavy load, with that many AP, classes till my senior year. I only took them since those classes were the only ones that seemed interesting.

Take the classes you want to take. Also it might be easier to get a scholarship based on GPA, opposed to the AP classes you take. For it is a lot harder to get good grades in all AP classes than regular ones. Also not all Colleges accept AP credits, especially the big ones. My AP credits that would count towards my degree wouldn't transfer to the college I will attend, except the non-core credits. So take the AP classes you want to take and don't pay for the test at the end. Re-take them in college for the credits. Also see what scholarships are out there and you can start gearing your classes towards them.

Also I am 24 and just realized what I wanted to do for a career. It would have been nice if I stayed in school and got good grades, but I didn't. It was my choice and due to it I'm retaking those classes to get a better GPA. I don't regret doing what I did, for I just didn't have the motivation for a degree then. But it added a year to obtaining my degree.

I know it is hard to let down your family by not doing what they want you to do. That was the main reason I dropped out of college, before, since I was only going to make them happy. Now I want to go for myself and I have a completely different mentality towards school.

The people that take the same classes as you may look fine but I bet they are stressed out beyond belief. Try asking them how they manage their schoolwork.
Also, try setting aside some time for yourself. School is important and all, but you still have to find a good balance between school and you. I'm in the same position as you are and trust me, if you are able to set aside some time for yourself and do something you love, your burden won't seem as heavy.

You must be Asian.

do what you feel is the right thing to do. listen to your heart.
isn't it a bit unfair for you to push your mental state in risk just to please others? is it really okay to just sit there and be quiet, and not be honest to yourself and tell your parents whats happening to you? you don´t deserve this. you don´t deserve to live a false life like this. you are a strong person. i can tell with your way of speaking in the thread. you can live on, and you should live on. a great life lies far ahead of you. but as always, life is not a dance on roses. "the reality is not what it seems". the other students might suffer from other demons as well. you are not the only one. and there is no one who are completely pure either. perfection is just an illusion. people can force you to be the best, but you will never be that if you don´t want to be that either. do what you want. and listen to your heart. it never lies

Going to school can be stressfull..especially when adults treat it lkke a chore i stead of an opportunity to learn.
Its hard but it shouldnt be something to hate and thats what they have made it..i would try to relax and focus more on learning rather then getting good grades if i were in your situations.

>>6 RACIST :D :b

Email me (raku.dollars@gmail.com) and ill listen to what you have to say. Sometimes people get stressed, but letting it at and knowing that someone is supporting you will help. I felt lime suicide for many reasons including school for a few years of my life. I've tried about 4 times, but always got caught. Been going through a lot the past few years, but now I think I'm ready to start helping others to stop. People support you, so don't kill yourself yet. Let me talk to you at least.