So I moved to Canada a about a week ago and there are a few people from my countries who help me a lot. They moved here about 15 years ago. There are 3 couples and someone else: a guy.

Since my first day here we met 3 days in a row. He would even stop at the couple I was living with to bake some Romanian dessert. Wow, such a lame excuse XD . I appreciated that they all helped me with everything I ever needed or wanted.

I really liked how they invited each other for dinner or to bake different kind of stuff together. Their friendship is really amazing.

So everyone is in their 30s, but me… I’m barely 21.

He didn’t knew that and he was interested in me and I was starting to like him. For the frickin’ first time in my life I am starting to get interested (for real) in a guy. He is 8 years older than me, but I don’t really care about that age difference.

He is a nice guy, a bit pervert and a jerk, but he is caring, responsible, friendly and mannered. He has a job, a nice place to live and a cheerful yet lazy personality. He’s the guy I ever imagined going out with. He does own a car but I really don’t care about such stuff (I mean: how rich he is)

Most people I met until now used me in their own ways. I can count my true friends on my fingers.

I really hate when people tell me You’re too young or You are too smart. Well fuck you!

So back to the story (more like back to this stupid douchebag)

All was nice until on the second day I slipped and said I was 21 and I guess he heard me. Because the next day he was hot and cold. He would still be mannered and talk to me, but there was no secret glance. He was frickin’ ignoring me! And when he was looking at me it was like I was some underage teenager.

Why the hell did he changed so much?

On Merlin’s beard I AM 21! I can decide what I want for myself. And if I decided I wanted to date his stupid ass he should feel lucky.

Did I mention that 2 couples out of those 3 are trying to hook me up with him?

My heart hurts so bad, yet I have no tears. Just a huge amount of pain. It was already bad that I am far away from anyone I know and that I am surrounded by a bunch of strangers. I am really grateful that this group of friends accepted me just like that and helped me, but I wish I didn’t met him. At least not yet.

…and I can’t stop myself from thinking about him.

…fuck

I'm 24 and due to my personal observations I find it rare to find someone close to my age to be as, "mature." I will use that term loosely, for it is a combination of many things in life and how one reacts to them. Most people will claim they are always kids mentally, but I see that as an immature excuse of not growing up. Of course adults will do some childish things, but they shouldn't act only like a child. As we experience more of life one should show they did.

If he is anything like me, then someone younger, and maybe the same age, is a negative. He might have good reason not to look at people who are younger than him. For he might have had some bad relationships in the past with immature, or younger, people.

Also why have you never been truly interested in a guy before and the first one is older than you by almost 10 years? Could it be due to thinking, subconsciously or consciously, they are too immature for you? It just sounds like you're trying to blame him without even trying to see his point of view as well.

Of course if it naturally shows that you are more mature maybe he will see you in another light once again. But that is something no one can fake for an extended period of time. It shows through everything you do; how you talk, how you respond, what you do, etc.

Also do you see any red flags correlating with things he does? It could be you're finding reasons not to like him as well.

>>3 Just on the point of being mature, I think that it's a minefield in itself. So often those who preach their 'maturity' are sadly lacking in many of the virtues they profess to have.

I think there is some method in the idea of "child at heart". While I agree it may be used as an excuse for not growing up, the ability to abandon reason and worry is a skill I think everyone would be better off utilizing from time to time.

>>4
I totally agree, and that is why I use the term, "mature," very loosely. I know I am less mature than others in multiple ways. But I am also way more mature than them in other ways.

For me, I would like to be with someone that I see as mature. I made the mistake of not really caring about it before and ended up getting burned. Of course if they show they are mature then I will reconsider them. So if it shows then maybe he will reconsider you as well. It may take some time, since everyone judges another in their own ways.

It might not even be due to the age as well. It could have been due to him seeing something else in you that he defines as a red flag.