One of the biggest motto's i hear especially in America is "be yourself" or "follow your heart". But what if being myself means being the worst me, the me I hate and wish i wasn't? The me that my parents disapprove of and that my brother is embarrassed of? How can I follow my heart when I know for sure that evil resides in my there? What if the true me is the person I wanted to be least of all? Half of me still longs to be the "true" me and the other is struggling to be the person everyone wants me to be, that I wish I was but no that I have not the strength nor the will to be that person. Yes small fractions of the person I hate make up "me" but which me is right? which one is wrong? I feel so divided

You can always improve who you are.

Okay Brooooo. Calm down. If being you means being the you you wish you weren't, then i don't think that's you. If you yourself clearly hate the you you don't show often then that clearly states that that isn't you. And if you don't like the you that you are right now which to me seems to be divided and undecisive at the moment, then think of the you you want you to be. At this point i recommend being the you that you like or that you would like more than the you which you hate. Maybe set goals to be the you you want to be, think of the attitude and personality the you you want to be has. I recommend to make a goal towards making that your personality little by little (like a goal every month or so). Example: let's say i'm shy around people i don't know too well and that i don't like coming off shy to people because the me i want to be is never shy. So what i would do then is not suddenly go to random strangers and start saying the weirdest things to them. I would first practice that confidence i want to have with the people i do know and then the ones i don't know too well. Every month i'll set different goals related to the personality i want to have until it becomes my personality. End of example. In short Fake it until you become it, but if it's how you really want to be it's not fake. Well good luck on your journey of trying to find you.

P.s. ignore what your heart tells you. Sometimes it is impulsive and wants you to do things the you you are or want be would never do. And that's bad. You gotta train your self to be stronger than those impulses because it seems the you that you want to be doesn't like what your heart wants you to be. Hope this helps.