So recently, I've been feeling really confused about everything, about my gender and sexuality, to be specific. I'm still quite young, so I'm not sure if anyone I actually know will take me seriously.

I'll go back to when it started, about a month ago, I was browsing the Internet and I learnt about a lot of new things, and managed to relate to some of them, for example, being genderqueer. Sometimes I feel like a boy, and sometimes I feel like a girl, for the record, I was born a 'she'. I always felt slightly masculine, I never wore dresses when I was a kid, I always wished that was born a boy, but always knew that I was a girl. Now that I'm older, like I said before, I sometimes feel like a boy, and then I'll suddenly feel feminine, or I'll just feel like neither.

While I'm writing this, I feel like a boy. I decided to try something new, so I put all by hair up in a beanie, and wore a baggy t shirt to make my breasts less visible, and I felt really happy, I didn't feel weird at all.

And onto my sexuality, I feel somewhat attracted to both genders, but I can't really describe it, I don't feel particularly in love at all, I never have felt that way. I'm mostly confused about this, am I bi? Lesbian? Aromantic? I just don't know.

for your gender, if you switch between both, you might be genderfluid! meaning you 'flow' btwn genders, sometimes you feel this but others you feel that. bigender is similar, you could be that too.

If you're attracted to both genders, but have changing preferences, you might be bi or pansexual? and maybe look into grey-aromatic, its not the same as full on aro, it's sort of in the middle.

Idk how much this helped but! give it time and accept change, you dont be able to figure everything out over night, but in time you'll be fine!

There's nothing wrong with what you're experiencing. Just relax, if you're still young then you'll have plenty of time to explore and learn. There's no need to put a label on yourself if you're not comfortable identifying as lesbian, bisexual, Transgender, etc. Seriously. No one is judging you, and if they are, they're obviously not happy with themselves.

Just breath. Dress how you want to dress. Act how you want to act. And be what you want to be. Focus on yourself, and on making yourself the best "you" you can be and support those who can't or aren't brave/ready to be as comfortable with themselves as you are.

You'll have time to go out, explore, and meet amazing people when you can. It's important to create a personality you can be proud of before labeling yourself. That way you can be more than just that title.

Just rembeber: you're YOU and you are awesome!

A personality like that, which encompasses and balances both genders, are good for relationships.

Strive to remain in balance of bboth sides.

You really don't need a bbunch of stupid words and labels for this.
You are a female with a fluid and male-like personality who is attracted to both genders.
Simple enough.

if u have a dick thats mean u are a BOY if u dont have a penis and u have just pussy then u are a GIRL if u have pretty big tits and penis thats mean u are SHEMALE

>>6 TIL fat guys are shemales

>>3 that's some hq advice right there.

OP, you said that sometimes you'll feel like a boy, sometimes you'll feel feminine, and sometimes you'll feel like neither. The word "genderfluid" means to switch between genders, as in, you're not permanently a single gender all the time. It's okay to switch around.

You say you're attracted to "both genders," but there is more than two genders! Bisexual people are attracted to two genders, so if you like boys and girls then you could be bi.

If you've never heard of non-binary people, though, then you can't be sure if you're attracted to them or not. Look it up! Plenty of people on tumblr tag their selfies in the gender tags like "agender" and "bigender" and "demiboy" and whatnot.

It can take a lot of Super HiTech Internet Research, but you'll get there. If you want a label for yourself, I promise it exists. Best wishes!

I have always wondered there's this shit on the internet. You are who you are, do you really need to ask the internet for this? Why ask? We don't know shit about you, so we can't make any real judgements on what you are. Experiment yourself.

>>9 the OP is trying to discover themself, as well as find labels that properly describe them.

The internet can't choose who they are, but it can supply definitions for words that they might feel comfortable with using.

>>8 >>10
This is the kind of help that ruins people. You're wrong, they don't need a new definition of themselves, they need to be comfortable being what they are.

Those children on tumblr don't know much better.
There are only 3 genders, male, female, and multi-gender (of two forms).

Just because a kid posts it on tumblr does not mean it's recognized as being a thing.

>>9 Actually makes a good point.

>>6 what about if you're an anthropomorphic asshole like yourself?

>>1 Anyway- who cares about the attraction part. Just. Ask out attractive people.

Gender stuff is important because of the whole dysphoria thing. If you like the whole male aestetic- short hair, smooth chest, ect. that might just make you, you know, butch. I'd go butch if I could reasonably get away with it.

Dysphoria is, you know, intense discomfort with your sexual characteristics. When you look at your naked body, how do you feel? How about clothed normally? Clothed passing as well as you can?

Anyway, on one hand, fuck "this is tumblr bullshit". On the other hand, fuck "i don't like wearing dresses so I must be some percent boy". At the end, it comes down to how you feel in your body and what sort of treatment you need for your mental health.

hi x
The person I'm with identifies as 'non-binary' and 'gender neutral'. It's not important to label yourself but I understand that it often helps. It gives you a sense of 'hey, this is me and its a real thing' and if it's not for your benefit, it helps people understand a little better. So find something you like! If you define yourself as something now, you're always aloud to change it and probably will. Your young, your discovering yourself.
But just go for it. Don't hold back on being you!
As for sexuality, I was constantly flip flopping. When people asked what I was, I always said "I'm just... breezy" but in a way I was forced to find a label- pansexual.
Like gender, its just a matter of looking for something that feels right. Older people don't really get it, but we are living in a sexually liberated age- celebrate it!
You can be the cutest girly in the world one day- and be the manliest man the next day if you like. Fuck anyone who says otherwise xxx

I always questioned myself until I developed feelings for another. I think the first person I ever had feelings for was in my junior year in high school. Before that I was not attracted to guys, but wondered if I would in the future. I new the difference between love and lust. I know love overpowers almost all other emotions too. But not having a crush on someone till my junior year made me question if I was looking at the wrong people. Many other factors attributed to me questioning my sexuality, but I finally came to the conclusion that I was straight.

I say it is too early to know for certain where you fall. Give it some time and think about who you are and who you see yourself with. It isn't an instant thing either. It takes time to know who you really are.

>>11
Sorry, but you don't seem to know much better either. There are more than three genders. There are only three sexes, but many genders. And those genders have been around for years before the internet was even a thing.

Some of you have no idea what it's like to feel this way. For some, yeah, labels don't matter. But for others, it gives a sense of belonging and helps find others like you. I like labels because I don't feel like a freak knowing there are others just like me. It's up to the person if they want labels or not. You have absolutely no right to tell them not to label themselves.

OP just wants guidance to experiment with labels. Nobody is telling OP how to identify. We are only giving suggestions that OP can research and decide on for themselves.

Now, OP, based on you're description, your gender does seem like it's genderfluid, as others have suggested. For sexuality, you didn't really say if you find those people sexually attractive and/or romantically attractive. I'll assume both. Maybe pansexual demi-panromantic. Or grey-panromantic (although I don't really understand how grey-identities are a thing). I hope this helped. Look some identities up and see which fits you. And you don't have to label yourself if you don't want to.

>>15 to comment on your idiocy:
"Gender is the range of characteristics pertaining to, and differentiating between, masculinity and femininity."

Two genders, masculine and feminine, and two combinations of both, one where masculinity rules, and the other where femininity rules.

What you refer to is gender-identity, which is, in very simple terms, a word created by society to cause you to start the plummet of loneliness.
Those who find solace in their self-given labels are the slaves you've been created to be, and coming up with a new name for yourself will not help. You're told to be unhappy, so you are.

Trust me >>15, I've been that person you think I don't know, and no word or label helped me feel better about myself. Learning to care about myself did, and that's where so many of you people fail.

All anyone ever cares about these days is needing someone to love them, or feeling alone. But no one will love you if you can't love yourself.

That's what people don't seem to understand, everybody hates themselves and doesn't want to show it, so they hate everyone else, causing the cycle to continue.

There is nobody else in the entire world like you.
There are people who have lead similar lives, and who enjoy similar experiences, but you are forever alone. You are born, and die, alone.

Get used to it and stop crying about yourself, just discover who you are, and fuck all else until then.

>>16
Wow, that comment was filled with a whole lot of "deep edginess". I can't tell what you're trying to prove here.

Honestly, if somebody feels happy and comfortable with labels, who are you to say they can't have them? You're not in charge of somebody else's identity.

"to comment on your idiocy"
Yeah, attack my intelligence. Real mature. You do realize that is a fallacy, right? Using a fallacy in an argument usually makes it weaker.

The point of this thread isn't to preach your philosophy and view of gender. It's to help OP out with something that is obviously bothering them.

What are you even trying to accomplish? To me, it appears as though you are shaming those who are exploring their identities. Please respect the decisions of others even if you disagree.

I ask that you stop replying to this thread as you're not helping OP. If you would like to debate about this matter, create your own thread. I'm sure that would be more effective.

From what I got out of it >>16 describes their way of how best to deal with it. While the same for >>17.

I think >>16 is basically saying be who you are and love it. No one needs labels to love themselves for who they really are. Also labels can become slander, or an insult, as some already are. They just stated it a tad harshly and ended on a pessimistic note.

While the flipside >>16 is trying to convey the message that they are not alone, I think. Basically trying to comfort, or inform, that the OP is completely normal and shouldn't think themselves as any different. To be who they are and don't think bad about it.

I believe the sexuality is more psychological and only has recently come to light. Of course people had varying sexuality in history, but not documented, just inferred. Being a recent field of study there will be mistakes and errors with the labeling. But it is the best we have as of right now.

Above all else be who you are and explore who you are. Don't be what anybody tells you to be, but who you want to be. Labels make you have a sense of belonging, but don't jump to conclusions of who you are.

I have to say that I believe you are born what you are but that doesn't remove any tendencies or feelings you may have. I do not agree with being "who you are", rather striving towards something that is "right" (Let's not get into what is right or not here).

Of course this example will not suffice since it simply isn't the same.

If we all wanted to actually be who we ourselves are, there are many people with violent tendicies and other sorts of things not just violent (that's against the law etc) that they deal with even though it may be hard for them.
For them to "explore" who they are and being what they want to be they then should they be allowed to murder since its how they feel and what they want to do?

No, I am not saying that choosing to be gay equates to murder in a societal sense. Only that it is MY belief that you should choose one over another, I personally dislike the idea of genderfluid etc and also believe that you shouldn't always act on your feelings (If you did, then if you wanted to steal something would it be "right" to steal it because you felt like it?).

I would like to note that I have gay friends as well and they are splendid people, just because I don't believe in what they believe doesn't make me in any way hater of them, I still very much like them as friends and people.

I don't see why people these days think that just because your opinion differs you must "hate" the other person. It's like saying I like a certain food and lets say you don't, I don't hate on you for hating what I like just stating my opinon and belief.

You may say that well "You don't understand how I feel", well you wouldn't know :p. In the end it's true that no one else can choose for you and it's up to you.

Either way I wish you the best.

>>19 The data are all in agreement in saying that neither homosecuality nor transgenderism are choices and that pretending that they are leads to depression and suicide.

You know, if you care.

uh... what does it mean to "feel like a girl" or "feel like a boy"?
You either are or you are not. I'm a girl who sometimes does things that boys are more known for doing or I may have male dominated hobbies, but that doesn't mean I'm not a girl.
Does the fact that I had short hair once and wore baggy clothes mean I was transgender now?
I thought it was just my taste in clothes...

>>21 nope, you're a girl if you say you are! girls can like boy things without actually being boys. the OP is saying that they might actually be a boy. OP might want to be called "he," might want a boy's name, might want to still keep liking feminine things despite being male, etc.

If OP is a boy, that is. OP is still figuring things out by the looks of it.

Being transgender has nothing to do with gender roles/stereotypes, I know many girls like you, as well as boys who like feminine things. Transgender people can be like different things in the same way, too. That's all just superficial stuff.

OP, you said you were young, right? That means it's a good time to try new things and start thinking about who you are. You can do that when you're older, too, but there's nothing wrong with trying new things now!

I've heard of trans people who discovered that they were trans through questioning their gender. I've also heard of cis people who learned more about themselves through the whole process, even though they didn't end up actually being trans in the end. Therefore: no harm done.

The only harm might be from your parents. Some are more accepting than others, so tread carefully if you decide to try new things or if you start identifying yourself differently.

>>17 people should read this post before commenting imo

wow, I always thought that having two X chromosomes was what made me a girl. Who knew that changing gender was as easy as saying "I'm a boy, guys."
Maybe I should try this trick some time.

>>23 Chromosomes determine a person's sex, which is different from gender. Sex is scientific– male/female. (Some recognize intersex as one, but I personally don't know enough about it yet to say for sure.) Gender is a mental thing– an internal sense, a feeling. It's intangible, but it's real. And no, it's not always easy. For some it is, but for others learning about their gender is very difficult.

When a person's gender is different from their sex, it can lead to body dysphoria, low self-confidence, and just generally being unhappy with life. It's linked to depression and increased risk of suicide. So please don't just call it a "trick" and boil it down to something petty, because it's kind of disrespectful to the people who are actually troubled by it, you know?

OP here, I'm kinda surprised at how much replies this got!

Thank you for all of your support, I know that I won't get a solid answer straight away, but this has certainly helped a lot.

I'll keep thinking, trying new things and staying positive. When I've figured it all out, I'll tell my family. Luckily, they are quite accepting, but even though they might accept it, I'm afraid of them not understanding, but I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.

>>21 it's really a mental thing, one day I'll be feeling masculine, and I'll feel insecure about my long hair/ chest. Other days I'll want to where more feminine clothes, and be all cute. It's much more complicated than 'you are or you are not.'

To those who tried to help, thank you all very, very much! :)

>>20 Can you show me the data?

>>21>>23 It's less that and more of a "looking in the mirror is intensely disturbing because it's the wrong face looking back, wearing clothing is intensely disturbing because they hang weird, being called by third-person pronouns is intensely disturbing because they refer to a class of person I'm not in, don't even get me started on sex, and the only thoughts separating me from the abyss are 'there are things only I can do' and 'they have legally-perscribeble medicine for this problem now'"

I'm trying to avoid getting angry but, ya know, there's a difference between "i like crossdressing" and "I have a neurological condition"

>>26 No links, apologies.

Transgenderism had most of the evidence /leaning/ in favor of it being a neurological condition. Brain studies of mtf transsexuals before hormone treatment showed brains in an intermediate state between usual male and female morphologies. Brain studies of mtf transsexuals /after/ hormones showed brains mostly indistinguishable from cis women's. However, sample sizes are small by necessity and so there's room for methodology quibbles. The APA still classifies gender dysphoria as a mental illness sui genris and not, you know, a delusional or hallucinatory disorder.

Meanwhile, there have been so goddamn many studies on both male and female homosexuals showing differences in brain morphology, in involuntary response to pheromones, evolutionary studies showing evidence for a role for a certain number of homosexuals in small tribes... Honestly, /this/ one is, scientifically, a closed book.

Mmm besides problems with methodology. I would definitely not say scientifically it is a closed book because it simply isn't. There should be sufficient quotable sources if we knew so much about it to be honest. However, as I said before albeit phrased differently, born that way doesn't necessarily mean live that way.

Iirc there are also studies done on the predisposition to violence. I'm pretty aure there are people who have a predisposition to murder of varying amplitudes yet we don't approve of murder in society?

What I do agree on is that homosexual couples can love each other (even moreso than heterosexual couples in some cases) I don't deny that. However I simply don't believe it to be "right" from my moral standards. Am I allowed that opinion?

well in terms of sexuality, I tend to identify as demisexual. I can be attracted to any gender, but only after a strong bond is formed. Maybe this helps?

>>28 Alright, I was approaching this from a totally wrong perspective then. (There's plenty of quotable studies, but I've got terrible research skills :I)

Anyway, what makes it /wrong/? I tend to assess something's goodness vs. badness based entirely on whether it does more good than harm or not. From my perspective, allowing same-sex relationships not only increases the happiness of same-sex couples desiring a relationship, but also decreases the /unhappiness/ of a homosexual marrying a heterosexual and then cheating on said heterosexual with same-sex partners (which happens a lot in cultures where homosexuality is stigmatized) and increases the happiness of homosexual couples' potential adopted children who would otherwise live in group homes without the individualized attention that best fosters their lifetime happiness. Gays are happy, straights are happy, currently-asexual babies are happy, where is the fault?

I will hear arguments to humanistic principles. Arguments to religious texts are going to be invalid unless you /actually/ obey all the rules said book sets out (which is, you know, probably not true considering how many goddamn rules there are)

>>30
Granted, I do not mind to be honest, it's one opinion/belief against the other, we may or may not ever come to an understanding/acceptance of each other's opinion hey? Of course I believe that we are all seraching so maybe we still need to search more. At least I think we should be as least be as understanding as possible and just point out what we think to be wrong, I guess that's a good way for discussion.

The question then leads to what is wrong and what is right. Now before saying something is wrong or right you'd have to find the source of what makes something right or wrong. This is commonly debated topic for itself, I guess where you believe right and wrong comes from would also influence your answer. However morals itself is not a simplistic one answer question, it doesn't all just stem from one source, there are some environmental and societal influences but I personally believe that we do have a sort of "Hardwired morals" within us. To fully complete my answer also requires an explanation of why I believe morals come from where I believe they do. Which I might leave for later.

Now happiness is an issue you see, because simply being happy doesn't mean good either. I personally am happy if I kill someone, now that isn't so good is it? Now basing goodness vs badness by evaluating more good than harm is a human concept that I believe to be generally quite sound when dealing with most matters. Though the problem with more good than bad is the question of "Good from doing bad" comes in. If we live by this argument, then we have the problem of sacrifice coming in where, what should we sacrifice for what and what is better than what and how much do we sacrifice, how far do we go before it is "outweighed".
This refers back to the original paragraph of what is wrong and right but for now. Lets keep this in mind for a bit whislt we switch topics briefly.

HOWEVER, of course the counter argument would suggest that "Being in a gay relationship doesn't kill or hurt anybody!"

I think that is the crux of the entire discussion, is being in a gay relationship harmful in any way?
From a purely scientific and secular view, there is not much to say about being "wrong", it is all based on what is good for the human race I.E benefits vs the drawbacks as you has stated above. Scientifically, there is suggestion that spread and cause for sexually transmitted disease is largely due to homosexual couples. Other statistics implore that they also fare more mental health issues not related to social pressure, I DO say that I do not actually know the validity of that source so I guess I'd have to look it up and review it for myself.

As for adoption, a popular study has been SAID to say that there is no significant difference between raising of adopted children between heterosexual and homosexual couples, however the US Supreme Court actually went to review that paper and apparently found issues with the methodology. Apparently, there seems to be serious issues with the raising of children in regards to molestation, sexual promiscuity (Some people regard this as fine, which is why I say your belief of morals comes into play), anxiety, and a few more you can look up on the link below I think:

http://www.supremecourt.gov/ObergefellHodges/AmicusBriefs/14-556_American_College_of_Pediatricians.pdf

I can't exactly say this is all fact because well, I truly am not exactly an expert hey, but from my personal prespective, it doesn't seem to have a very good outlook. Yes there are happily married same-sex couples, from the secular view though, it's basically all about the good vs bad I guess.
I guess we as humans have a bad habit of only seeing one side and choosing it instantly I.E, reading a single paper and soley basing our conclusions off that.
Maybe one day people will compile papers supporting both sides and make some sort of conclusion (Maybe they have, I don't know, link if they have please)

Now, refering back to what is good or bad or moral etc, that in itself would be a key factor on whether you are for or against homosexuality and morals itself would need to be debated I.E where do morals originate from? If they originate from environmental things, then should we stop someone brought up thinking murder is good? If we do, then they should have the right to stop us thinking murder is bad? If morals came about from the idea of "the good of humanity", from an evolution point of view, homosexuality doesn't seem to promote the survivability of a species (Yes I guess you could argue that it doesn't have to be essential for the survivability, just that some people are and we should accept them as just variations in our species). Well you could certainly accept them I guess if you believe it's natural and that maybe morals don't really matter to you just humans living like other animals.

These aren't exactly what I believe ^ those are just some ideas I've heard thrown around.

The theistic view is commonly known and disregarded as old fashioned or whatever, there are also theistic "problems" with it in regard to sin an things like that but since you don't believe in those probably wont help in this discussion. I.E slavery to sin and stuff like that.

So all in all it seems to be what you believe to be morally correct, I personally feel and think that it doesn't seem right to me from what I believe to be my morals and also what I've read so yeah. I should probably proof read this and fix up stuff but eh if you find bad contradicting crap or W.E just point it out and I'll revise it or maybe even change my view. So I guess this is sort of an incomplete answer, sadly I have not really much time at the moment, but yeah. I guess we could discuss where morals come from and what they are etc sometime :S.

I forgot I commented here, but god damn >>31 that is a wall of text.
I just wanted to make a quick comment saying that morality is a small, petty human concept, and in reality, there is no good or bad, there simply is.
Everything has purpose, even destruction, and living in balance is better than living in the light.
Just remember that the light you follow couldn't exist without shadow.

Anyway, you make some really good points, but at the end of the day, there wasn't a whole lot of argument about whether or not anyone agrees or disagrees with homosexuality. One person just got too deluded with what they were trying to say, and it sparked a side-tracked conversation.
That you replied to, way too in-depth..

>>32
Haha yeah it was decently long. Thats why, as I said, your view of morality and its origin itself would greatly influence whether you thought homosexuality was right or wrong. I personally don't exactly support the lifestyle choice, from my morals and beliefs anyway. To simply state the salient points of the issue which I believe I have done (some anyway) only provides the reader with questions that they may ask themselves. I think it's better for people to find their own conclusions rather than me trying so hard to persude and in the end everyone has a fit at each other. I mean, if you believe otherwise of course I'd like people to take the same moral stance as me but that's their decision in the end not mine haha. I might object but it rarely helps when people blatantly shout out "My opinion is right yours is wrong", people just get mad for no good reason. In relation to being part of the dollars I think we should help each other anyway despite our differences in belief. There is too much persecution and selfishness in the the world already as it is.

>>33 When you state that you don't think homosexuality is "right," then my chances of changing that don't look very good. Because yes, it's your opinion. And I don't have control over it, but if your opinion disrespects my existence then I won't respect it either.

I don't always get angry, but I do get upset when I hear people say the things that you're saying. And I do have a very good reason for getting upset. You're literally telling me that I, myself, as a human being, am immoral. And that's, I dunno, a pretty damaging thing to hear for some people? Because it's not a "lifestyle choice". It's never been a choice and it never will be. It's something that I didn't ask for. It's a part of me that has brought me so much trouble for my entire life because of opinions like yours, along with the opinions that are more harmful than yours. (And if you're doubting whether it's a choice or not, then just think about it. Why would I choose to be oppressed? Why would I choose for my parents to hate me?)
I really hope you can understand what I'm trying to say here. I never would, but imagine if I started saying your sexuality was against /my moral standards. That'd be shitty, right?

And by the way, about >>28... How is homosexuality comparable to murder? We're not trying to mess with people's lives... Mass murder isn't on the gay agenda. We're not trying to hurt people. So, like... do you have the same amount of scorn for killers and gays? Because if not, then you shouldn't say things like that as if it's a worthy argument. It's just comparing apples and oranges.

In the end, I'm not very hopeful that you'll actually change your opinions after reading this. But like you said, it's good for people to come to their own conclusions. And to make a good judgement, it's best to have as many different viewpoints as you can get. So here's mine.

My advice for you is pretty uncomplicated.

There's a lot of bs that society will tell you about what it is to be "masculine" or "feminine" and in reality none of it is true. You can feel however and be whatever.

Do yo feel comfortable in your own body? If so, you're probably better of not worrying about your gender anymore, and just dress however you want, without attaching words like "male" or "female" to things that are genderless like clothes.

As for sexuality, you say you're young, so it's natural for you to never have been in love, that kind of intense emotion doesn't come easy, but you'll know it when you feel it. Your body will let you know what you're attracted to though, there are, you know, physical indicators of this kind of thing in response to stimulus. For me, naked dudes really gross me out in every way, of all kinds, but NICE girls (not all girls) turn me on, and my best friend is gay and supposedly feels about the same way.

The important thing to remember at your age is to not overcomplicate things like this, you are who you are, and there's no reason to assign labels to yourself.

Honestly, the single biggest problem for someone in your situation should be the fact that English doesn't have a gender-neutral pronoun. Otherwise, >>35 is the exact point I made.

>>36 Hey, who said? 'It' is a gender neutral pronoun for babies that are yet to be born or new-borns

>>34
As I expect. I know people in the world will not respect my opinon. That's fact, that's okay with me, I'm glad that you do try to respect those when you can and that you do stand up for yourself, that's a good thing.

Now let me elaborate a little. In reply to your first paragraph, saying that you "...As a human being" is immoral. This leads on with the next section where you believe "It's not a lifestyle choice".

Okay so, to believe that a human being is immoral first would have to deal with the question of whether it's a lifestyle choice or not.
If it isn't, then yes technically it would be deduced that as a human you are immoral right?

From your side I know it sounds something like this
"I have no choice and yet you are telling me I'm wrong thus I'm being blamed for something I do not have control over". I get that, yes. Furthermore it would feel like this
"How can I be wrong when I have no choice?".
That's all very understandable yes. It also feels like they are trying to say that your very existence is wrong.

I personally believe it's a lifestyle choice and for that reason, do NOT believe your existence to be immoral, from my moral standards. Why a lifestyle choice you might ask? Well there's a reason why it's called a choice, not a feeling.

It is not a "feeling choice", definitely not, you can't control that. Of course you feel that way and I believe that it is genuine feeling too of course.

You see for me I don't believe on acting based on feeling, but rather what I deem to be moral. From here, this begs the question "Is my feeling wrong?". I personally believe so, but this does NOT exclude myself and any other humans. This is also NOT limited to homosexuals alone. I believe that everyone has different struggles with their feelings and everyone has that choice aside from feeling. I do not believe that you can choose feeling but you can choose whether to act upon it or not. I would like to add that I have had experience with such feelings before and chose what I have and believe it to be right. I'd like to reinforce that it is not limited to homosexuality alone. (I myself have terrible feelings that are very hard to control and I do get very fustrated over them sometimes, I would even go far to say, worse than homosexuality). Am I saying the choice is easy? HELL NO, if only life were so easy. Personally as someone who has seen both sides of the world, not being a Christian my whole life and now am, I would say that I am better off this way in both feeling and decision I feel fulfilled and happier than I've ever been despite not giving in to my feelings. I do believe that Christianity as a belief is a personal thing and that personal experiences would shape your belief itself. I.E how you come to terms with things and see things could be the same or vastly different from mine.

I thought I did explain how murder does not properly reflect the issue of homosexuality. Anyway I'll have a go...
(Do tell me if I'm wrong and any flaws and things you don't agree on of course I think it's good to ask questions of parts that don't seem right and would like to know your viewpoint. Really tired right now probably not thinking too straight :S) But I digress, I personally believe that homosexuality affects the person themselves not others in line with my moral paradigm I personally wouldn't do it because I think it affects the parties involved in a negative way. (It's obviously easy for me to say after making a decision in the past and coming to terms with my own feelings. But for you I'm pretty sure this sounds like a "hate" message which I definitely hope it doesn't, if so then yes voice your opinion please with specificity to each part).

However, now we encounter a problem depression with hiding your feelings etc. I don't think you should exactly hide your feelings within reason of course (There are many people opposed in a violent ways too, to your personal beliefs so obviously you don't want them coming after you). Then again if I openly expressed my opinon I'd probably be lynched to death hahaha. (Funny that hey?)

You see, in this world I would say that as humans we have laws and different laws have different punishments, I.E Murder, Rape etc have much larger punishments than stealing (Or even telling a lie), why? Well society demands it based on the action's impact. So in a societal standard I would not rate homosexuality the same as murder no. I.E I don't think they should be jailed up etc.

I believe as a Christian that all humans are fallen and that we are all sinners regardless of our sin. Some people just love to condemn people to hell, I.E those people who say "Oh you're homosexual so you'll go to hell". They kind of forget that in God's eyes, any sin = you're less than perfect = hell
Unless you get obtain forgiveness through Christ. I am no better than you as a sinner (Infact I would consider myself one of the most degenerate people in society)

All in all I do not believe the choice to be right, I'm not choosing for you.
As much as I'd like you to (As you'd like me to see your opinion as you do) you could choose to just disregard all this (I'd probably say that it's likely) and live how you choose. It's not up to me to come to terms with how you deal with things, I don't have you personal experience so I can't exactly relate to you very well.
All I can provide what I have experienced,which might or might not correlate with how you understand things right?

Feel free to point out any problems etc or w.e, there are probably a quite few knowing me haha. Regardless of what you choose I wish you all the best my friend :).

>>35 "They/them/their" was recognized by Oxford Dictionary as a gender-neutral pronoun. (oxforddictionaries.com/words/he-or-she-versus-they) There are also other invented pronouns like ze/zir, you can find a bunch of them with a quick google search.

>>38 Sorry for making you repeat yourself about the whole murder thing, I jumped in too quickly and missed one of your earlier replies.

The main part I have something to say about is again, the whole lifestyle choice thing. You can say that you believe it's a lifestyle choice, but it's just... not. (And the good thing about the world is, whether or not you choose to believe the truth, it's still the truth.) It's not as simple as just choosing not to have gay sex or something. Because unlike feelings, it's an inherent part of us, whether we partake in gay activities or not. People aren't inherently angry or violent, there's always something underneath.
I get that you have a moral paradigm, but to me a person's sexual orientation itself has nothing to do with morals. It feels weird to start debating about that any more than it's already been done, so I won't go for it.

While I'm not okay with it, I don't totally see this as a hate message, because I've gotten a lot worse and I also don't think you're a person who wants to spread hate. You've got your very strong moral compass, you seem really attached to your faith, and for you this is probably just a friendly sharing of information. (Though to me it's just dealing with more low-key homophobia.) I see what your train of thought is about the subject, but I don't respect it, since it's something that's been quietly hurting me and a lot of the LGBTA+ community for a long time. Tbh I actually strongly disagree with the gist of what you said, but I'm trying not to be too big of an asshole about it since you're not outwardly being an asshole either. I don't really think we need to talk about this any further, cause I doubt we can agree with or sway each other and I'm sure we can both live with that.

I guess, just, thanks for the good wishes.

>>39
No no that's fine.

Well that's what you believe to be the truth vs what I believe to be the truth so haha :P. I mean it was just from my own personal experience with what I felt myself and how I dealt with that lead me to my conclusion. Although I would have to say that I do believe myself to be inherently violent, it's like a part of me too and I couldn't help it, that's why I do say it's really a personal issue. But yeah I'll just leave it as it is.

Well for me I would have to say that yes, it would seem like homophobia to you, but homophobia being "dislike of or prejudice against homosexual people.". No I wouldn't say I dislike you, though I wouldn't say it is prejudice either and thus not homophobia. Everyone these days calls me a homophobe and the problem is that the definition of homophobia does come with your belief, in this case that it's a choice vs I am what I am without choice.

The belief of I am what I am, thus "you disregard what I am as a person therefore = homophobe would be correct for that belief".
In the same regard, I think that "No, homosexuals are people too and they can be fine individuals, I just don't believe in their choice." I think that they are no worse than other people and their existence is entirely valid, so I wouldn't support what I believe is choice but I would support you as a person.

I believe that all humans are flawed and in in sin regardless and that all humans are able to attain salvation also regardless of their actions.
I.E Hitler could go to heaven if he believed and mother teresa would got to hell if she didn't. Anything less than perfect no matter how small is not perfect right? That's not the end of the issue since some people would say "Oh then it's okay to go around murdering and raping because you'll still be saved?" but that's a theological question and for another time.

Yeah thanks for hearing me out without instantly disregarding what I say, it's uncommon these days. Everyone just thinks "You don't believe in my belief and opinion so you're a hater". I just think that the issues is too quickly brushed over because no it's not such a simple topic. Anyway, I think I've gone on a bit too long as I always seem to do :S. Sorry for the walls of text everybody haha.