(this is long. sorry)
So the thing is my mom.
Since I'm a kid, my mom doesn't let me go outside to play alone because she thinks something can happen to me and I hate this..

I always stayed at home on my computer and I only had online friends. Everyone at school hated me and they were all bullshits. I had no friends in real life. I was happy when i chat with my online friends but then one day my mom didn't like it and told me to never talk with people online because she thinks i can give personal info etc.

I told her that i will never do this but she never listens to me. She always tell me to play with my friends at school. I never told her about my problems at school. I still continued to talk with my online friends and she doesn't know.

Even now, my mom doesn't let me go out alone and have online friends. We live in a little town where nothing happens. She thinks I'm a little kid and that i can't protect my self. I also told her that when i graduate, i want to study psychology for 2 years or more then i want to be a mangaka and live in my own apartment.

She gets a little mad when i tell her that i want to live alone in the future. She always tell me 'when you're getting married, you can do what you want'....and the thing is i DONT want to get married... I'm not interested in people and these days, every man i meet are just idiots. Even if i find someone good, i still don't want to get married.


I feel like I'm just a pet in a little cage. Everything i do, my mom doesn't like it. Even my family (grandpa, grandma etc).
They always tell me 'your mother is right'. I feel like they want to control everything in the house and i fucking hate this.
I just want to be free.

They always laugh at me when i say i want to be a mangaka and they get mad when i say i want to live in my own apartment when i graduate.


Can someone please tell me how to show them they can trust me?
I want to tell my mother that she can't control me all my life. I want to be free. Some of you will tell me to talk with my father but i can't. My mom and dad divorced and i hate my dad for some personal reasons...

Anyway please help!!
Thank you for reading this.

I know the feeling. My life is basically the same as yours. My mom is just as protective as your's. I would not be able to even go out my own backyard as she feared that someone would kidnap me from climbing the wall.

Most parents aren't going to agree with what you want to do. Trust me, my mom hates the idea of me becoming a psychologist or a photojournalist. I know how it feels to be in that little cage, trapped with no way out. Unfortunately, most parents would not usually believe you because they think they are right. All I can say is show them how serious you are. Sometimes tell them doesn't do much, but action tends to work better than words. If you really show them that you want to become a mangaka that badly, they can't really say much against it.

It's your life, you should be the one to make the choices with what you want in the future. So even if they don't believe you or try to make you do something else, I say stick to being yourself. There's nothing worse than pretending to be someone you are not.

>>2 thank you very much.

I'll do my best.

That's an unfortunate situation you're caught up with. How about trying to open up about your problems at school? Parents, and people from previous generations in general, always tells us "When we were young we do this" and "That wasn't the case back in the days." I suggest you confront your mother and tell them that the world has changed. I wish you all the best and I hope we can talk more :)

Thanks you two for helping me.

>>5 yeah i'll tell her about my problems. Thank you very much :D

I beat a guy at school who annoyed me. He went home crying. I fight a lot. So my mom trust me on protecting myself (tho she is against me fighting). That is me doing it my way. You need to prove her that you are not a helpless kid and that you can protect yourself. I dont suggest you to beat a guy. Just try to convinve her. ^^Good Luck

I totally feel ya sis, its that sort of mothers some of us have to deal with.

I'm not sure how old you are right now, but if you start taking things into your own hands then slowly they'll let you go. I'll give you some example of what I've done. For example filling out your own enrollment forms for anything from school or whatever, it shows you can take an initiative. Get a learner license if you're old enough, gets you into that 'adult world'.

You also got to take up a certain frame of mind, the boar mind. You'll have to be willful, determined, but not forceful in getting your ways. you might have to be a bit cynical and manipulative. I sort of have an idea of what kind of parent youre dealing with so im not going to tell you to basically talk it out with her, im guessing it would be almost pointless. But remember some sacrifices do have to be made. I was exactly like you at one point. I had to hide the fact i talked to people online and my mother was scared about me going out, even with friends and etc etc.

I hope that helped, I still try to convince my parents of my independence, its been working so far.

>>7 Lol i always fight and i one day got a detention the third day of school. My teachers and principal hate me so much because i always fight xD.

My mom always tell me those things when i fight "you're a girl. A girl shouldn't be like this blah blah blah". I hate when she tells me this because it's normal for a girl to fight -_-. But still thanks for trying to hepl ^^

>>8 Thank you! I'll do what i can. I hope it will work.

My mom thinks i'm not serious and she always tell me that all i do is stay on my computer to play games but that's not true. I go on the computer to search things about how to become a mangaka, materials mangakas use etc.
I always try to show her that i'm serious about being a mangaka.

When she comes to my room she tells me "why do you always draw and stay on the computer. Spend time with your family instead of staying in your room". I always tell her that i need to make my drawings much better and that i'm not playing games on my computer.

One day i was in a shop with my mom and i found the materials that i need to draw. I looked really happy and when i bought them and went back to the car, i told her "mom. I really want to become a mangaka. I love to draw and i become so happy when i finish a chapter ..etc." Then when i finished talking about how i was serious about being a mangaka, she just started to laugh and she said "you think you're picasso or something??"

She said this to make fun of me. I was really mad when she said this. I even started to cry because she always make fun of my dreams. I've been working on my manga for more than 3 years. Before i decided to be a mangaka (i was a little bit young), i wanted to become a scientist etc. I loved science so much. It was really interesting, but then i started to hate it because when i told my mom and sisters that i love science and that i wanted to become a scientist, they started to make fun of me and they said "you are really bad at school and we are sure you are so bad at science too. You can't be a scientist". Then after they said this, my cousin (he is one year older than me and he loves space) said he wanted to become an astronaut. They said "Yeah you can do it. You love space so much and you're really serious. You can do it, we know"

I was really sad i just left the room and started to cry in the bathroom. Since this day, i started to hate science but i was really good at it.

[First of all, I apologize in advance for my bad english/grammar ]
I really understand you! My mother is very protective, she doesn't let me go out (even in the garden)because she thinks it's too dangerous. She wants to make all the choices for me, and she still sees me as a little child.I have a few friends but a rarely see them outside school, and because of that I don't have any really close friends. I spend most of my time on my computer, because it's the only place where i'm free to do whatever I want to. But she hates when I spend too much time on the internet and then she becomes even more strict.
In the beginning, I used to get mad very often because of this, but I realized it wouldn't change anything to be angry.
So I decided to be patient. I realized that my mother wouldn't let me do anything on my own because she didn't trust me. So now, I'm trying to slowly earn her trust. I do as much as I can to look like a responsible person, and I always try to put her on a good mood before asking anything. I'm doing a lot of tasks in the house that she didn't even ask me to do. I feel like it's starting to work, even if I know that things won't change so quickly.
You need to be patient too, but you must not give up on your dreams and ambitions. Try to figure out what you can do to make her more understanding with you. If she trusts you, things will be a lot easier, but first it will be hard to get to that point.
I think it's great that you want to become a mangaka, keep training no matter what they say! And if you were good at science, maybe you should try to study it again, it's always good to develop our interests and potentials.
I hope this helped you, or at least made you feel a little bit better.

>>11 Yes this helped me! Those ideas are really good, thank you very much. I'm sure she will trust me a little more and things will get better. I know it will take time.

I also decided I will talk to her today or maybe tomorrow for a few things. Oh and I won't give up on my dreams anymore. I really want to be a mangaka and I will!! ^^

Thank you very much for all the people who tried to help!!

just believe in you and dont let others interupt yor dreams/work dont know the english word now well im german yea getting to mangaka lv can be quite hard but i wanted always wanted to do something japan anime like so i dicidet do graduate high school in german calles abitur before i study im a warehouse worker but that was never a think but now i got a chance and will use it^ just believing and after that i will study japanology so i can work maybe as a translator speak and write wise;p

>>13 good luck

I hope that things get better! Never give up on your dreams and try to be happy. For me I found that other kids didn't pick on me if I was always nice. Good luck :)

>>16 thanks ^^

If you want it, just do it. And show to your mother that you are not a little kid, and that you can't protect yourself. Good luck! I wish the best for you, just that the thing i can do for you. And sorry if my english is bad :) and same with me, i want to be a mangaka, novelist, and illustrator. I love something like writing a story, and drawing an anime character. And if i can do it, i want to be a pro seiyuu :D

It depends what do you kean by free.

The good way to settle your problem is by talking about it straight but don't do it at home, do it at somewhere crowded. Just ask your mother if she want to grab a bite and if she say yes that will be your chance.

When you ask her try to be calm as possible even if she is already angry at you but if she really against it my advice only one: let go all of your emotion and mind and say it to your mother.

Just do it. Do whatever you wanna do cause it is your life. If they don't let you, do it whenever they're not home or something. Just keep in mind that all your mom is doing is trying to protect you, even if she is doing it in a sort of strange way. I've had my dad call me stupid on several occasions, even though I usually get first in math tournaments, and placed in the top 10 at my school even though I'm only in my first year in middle school.

Just say what is on your mind to her, maybe she will listen. If she doesn't she will hopefully eventually realize you are in fact being serious about being a mangaka. Try to make her understand that you feel as if you are trapped in a birdcage.

I don't know how old you are, but maybe you should try getting a part time job. Learn how to drive? I kept a part-time job during my senior year in high school. It can be very challenging and tiring, but it's also worth it. You can get a bit of independence from home and getting a job allows you to prove that you will have the means to pay for college and living expenses. Stores are always hiring for grocery stockers and cashiers.

>>18 Thanks! And good luck ^^.
>>19 We are going out this week, maybe today. I will bring her somewhere like you said and I'll talk with her. :)
>>20 Yeah I know she wants to protect me and she loves me. I'll do my best!

>>21 Thank you I'll do what I can ^^^

Read Bakuman, then realize that if you be a mangaka, you'll be living on the streets within a few weeks. Everything else you think is okay, but listen a bit, just a bit, to your parents advice, because they didn't live through life for nothing

>>23 I watched bakuman and what you just said isn't true...
And yes I listen to my mom.

Parents are protective. They don't want you to get hurt, and if you don't tell them something is happening, they will never know about it. You should really tell them that you don't really like the kids at school, and the people online will accept you. It's a place to start over.

most important do not talk about your personal stuffs with her like ever
also talk only about the good things you have like: i made new freinds today we played together ...etc
cuz in ur case what ur mother needs is sweet lies

>>23 THEY BOUGHT A FUCKING SPORTSCAR IN THE END

But yeah it's a hard dream, you should really have a back up plan. It's not like hard work will show results just because you want it to, you need to be an able writer, draw well on schedule and commit a lot to it, and even if all of that is achieved, you might still not reach the proper audience and fail anyways.
So once again, you need a back up plan.

Your family seems incredibly overprotective.
I don't care too much for mine, but if they'd be like that, I'd hate the hell out of them. I already dislike my grandmother for doing grandmother things like being racist and ignorant. Yes, I love my family despite all the differences, but at the same time, I don't feel like they're allowed to restrain me. If they spit on my dreams, I'd try even harder. If I make it, I'll show them how wrong they were. If I don't, well, then they were right. You have to take some risks in life.
Are you not allowed to leave the house to meet people? And anyways, do you even have friends you could meet up with? Because if that's the case, I'd just sneak out of the house.
As for using the internet to talk to people, they don't seem to check it, so who cares.

p.s. You need a back up plan. Seriously.

I know how hard it is to be a mangaka but I don't need help in this.

I'll talk with her. If it doesn't work its okay. I know what to do next. Thank you everyone for trying to help.

I know how this is too. Thankfully, I know how people's minds work. Try finding something that will appeal to her interests, that also means you have to do something by yourself. Maybe you want to buy her a christmas present, but can't because she's always around. Or maybe say, if there's an extra class or something on public safety and how to deal with things. I don't know if this helps, but you need to find a way to appeal to her protective side and do something to show you're mature enough, without crossing the line yet. If she takes the 'bait', then slowly stretch the limit. Like rubber. Slowly get her to see you're more capable then she thinks

Also; if she's that protective then there's a chance she might have experienced something similar when she was young, or with someone she knew okay? She might not remember what being caged up like that does to someone. Anyway, that's all I have to say *bows*

I was in the same situation. I'm not sure how well this will work for you but to prove to my mom I could handle myself I took karate lessons. As soon as my mom saw me flip a guy twice my size, I pretty much had free reign.

>>29 Thank you so much.
>>30 Lol, I'll try to take karate lessons, seems fun.

All that people who support you. Aren't you glad?
I want to tell you something interesting... but well.. people are lovable, aren't they?

Listen, you feel like you caged up. Your mom want you to made friends at school right? And then you want to living alone and won't get married? Really?

I just wanted to tell you something then :
1. I'm not so soft, so forgive me if you think I'm rude.
2. You want to live alone. Why? Because what happen with your parents? Or because you want 'Freedom'?
3. Your mom want you to play with your friends in school. Then do it and prove to your mom that her task is easy!
4. You want to be a mangaka? If you can live with it then do it and prove it! Prove your awesome drawings and stories to your mom! Post it in internet and show to your mom that many people appreciate your work!
5. Living alone is hard.
6. You live with people, so try to not hate people. We're people too and we give our support. So why did you dislike people?
7. If you want freedom, try not to get your 'Rebellion act' into something that will mess your life. Freedom is good but also a challange, especially now.
8. If you want your mom to understand what you think. Show your mom that you can do anything. Help her with cooking, help her when she's having a hard time. Try to understand what your mom are thinking!
9. Like always, "The World isn't as bad as you think."
10. Good luck with your life.

Honestly i live in a city that is quite dangerous and im also not alowed alone to go out. But the point is.m if you want your mom to pay attention to you about ur career, what u can do it juat do your stuf! Just draw a manga that can touch your parent's heart into thinking like "oh my daughter/son can draw something like this" or join some manga competitions and win it, so that u can prove ur mom this is what uve been doing and that ure aerious and not playing around!

>>32i have my own reasons why i want to live alone and not get married...sorry.
I don't care about the people at my school anymore. Why would i talk with people who hated me, who bullied me, who acted like i didn't exist, they would oblige me to do everything for them, i was like their slave. I'm also trying my best with helping my mom.


>>33i will do this. I always show my drawings and tell my stories to my mom. She always tell me it's really good, and that makes me really happy!

I also kind of found a new solution to make my mom not worry too much when i go out. She knows i love roller skating and i love to walk in forests etc.
Everyday, i'll go roller skating and i'll come back and always say "it's so fun. I feel so happy when i go outside!!!" I'll say this with a really happy face since i have a sad face, she's gonna notice.

Many days are gonna pass and she's gonna notice that nothing happened when i go out alone. She'll trust me a bit more :D

Also, my mom have been in a lot of priblems recently. She doesn't have enough money (she's also divorced), also there's family problems etc.

She always say "if only i could travel somewhere where i can be in peace even if it's for one second". I decided something that i still didnlt tell her. I'm going to bring her to japan and another country (i'll let het choose the other country). There's also a country she really wants to go to, i'll bring her there too.

It's not gonna be this summer, and maybe not next summer (for some reasons). But i promise i'll bring her to japan and the other country she really wants to go to. I know she will accept since she loves travelling, and she said it herself, she wants to go somewhere far from everyone to relax. It won't be for one second, we're gonna stay there for summer vacation :)

>>38 ..a knife and a gun is a little... No i can't bring one of these xD
And i don't hate my mother. I know she cares about me and that she loves me. If i hated her, i wouldn't bring her to japan or another country.

>>1 she have no idea what she's talking about. Personal info can be obtained even if you tell them or not. All your records, your birth certificate, sss number, your bank account, or your criminal records, can be obtained through internet. As long as they are all electronically stored on a device. Anyone can find your location using your I.P address. And those no life idiots can just send you viruses anytime you opened the internet. So if you mother told you again that you would share your personal info, say this to her "It's utterly impossible to hide your personal info" if you really want to keep you personal info, then you should stop using social media sites. Even non-programmers can obtain your info. Try searching google for your name and you'll know how many sites that have your personal info.

>>40 There are many other reasons why she doesn't want me to talk with online people. It's not just for the personal info. The other reasons in personal, i can't say them, sorry. But she just doesn't trust me.

>>41 no worries,my mother doesn't trust me too. She went with me on an interview and she answered all the questions. She didn't even give me time to talk to the employer. I didn't get the job though but when I went to interview all by myself, I got the job. But still, my mother doesn't trust me. She thinks I got in because of the school. My counsellor helped me find the job but she didn't come with me on my interview.