Some of you may know this already, but I have selective mutism. For those of you who don't know what it is, it's an anxiety disorder in which a person who is usually capable of speaking can't speak in certain situations or around certain people. The disorder's name is somewhat misleading as the person doesn't select these situations. It just happens, and we have no choice about it.

Now, I'm 16 years old. And like most this age, I should be getting a job. However, I already know that I will be unable to speak. I don't know how I would make it in an interview. And if I did manage to get a job, I still might be expected to speak.

My ex boyfriend said that I could email employers to explain my situation. He also said that learning sign language would be a good idea. The email advice might work, but I'm not sure if sign language would. I doubt that many people even know it and my anxiety is so bad that I can't even manage to wave to somebody, so signing would still be a challenge.

I want to go to therapy or get some kind of medication to help me, but my parents refuse to see it as a problem. They tell me to just get over it. My dad even tries to put me in situations I have to talk to try to "fix" me, but it only makes things worse.

What can I possibly do to cope and live a normal life? At this point, I feel like I'll never get better, and it makes me really hopeless. I'm scared of becoming an adult because I don't think that any place would care to work with me and my disorder. If anybody has any advice, please let me know.

I sort of feel similar, but i never took it as selective mutism =/ I've had the same type of "i can't talk in certain situations" thing and it's gotten so bad that my mom tries to do the same thing your parents do.

So I haven't got a job or anything like that, but in my school you're expected to speak a lot during classes. I always dreaded this, but the only way I could speak was by telling myself that I had to or else I would get a bad grade. Now, i'm pretty sure i have to start volunteering at the library, but I know I'm going to have to talk to the workers there since they've known me for very long. I'm not sure how I'm going to do this, but I try to put something in my head like "if i don't talk then i can't do this." It's very hard to follow through though. Something like that could work for you, but if it doesn't work at first (which it probably won't. It takes time) then try to nod or give really short replies if possible.

Hope this helped.

It seems really complicated... but what if you try to use a text to voice software? It wouldn't solve, but it could help a little.

I think that your dad isn't entirely wrong, confrontations are probably the best way to resolve this issue, but those confrontations should be held as comfortable as possible for you, with friends surrounding you in a known environment, progressing slowly.
In terms of finding a job... I really think that at this day and age, an e-mail suffices and the actual interview has less influence as long as you got good qualifications. I don't know what kind of work you're looking for, but during summer, I'll work in a warehouse, basically sorting stuff out and putting things in order. Safe for ordering meals, I wouldn't have to talk. I get my instructions and that's it. Of course, conversation helps to pass the time and get to know my coworkers, but it's not necessary.

Why don't you practice speaking to yourself in the mirror? Something to give ease of speech because (I'm just taking a stab in the dark here) your selective mutism in some situations could be because you are scared of screwing up certain words or of making a fool of yourself so then you brain is like STOP!!! Not even going to try!

Perhaps try getting your self comfortable with talking to your self and how the words sound and feel might help a bit. Sign language might be a dead end as no one really knows it because people don't generally need to, you'd be best off sticking to typing it out on your phone like Celty does. It's quicker and most people can read.

Other than that if you really wanted to go pushing yourself right off the bat you could try forcing yourself to speak but that may just make it worse for you. Start small, put out a little bit at a time, speak small words until your comfortable. I have moments myself where I can't speak because, well, just because usually, but I get very nervous and antsy and I can't find the words to make myself heard so I just say something every now and then until I start speaking.

You should email potential employers about your situation and if they call you in for an interview just try to cope as best you can, if you can't speak words type, type away ;)

Thanks for the replies!!

>>2 Yeah, selective mutism is more than just not being able to talk. There's a lot more to it, but that's the main issue. I wish I could use your advice, but it's been tried already, and I don't have the motivation to continue it.

>>3 That could work, yeah. Not in school, of course, but other places. I'll need to find a good app for it.

>>4 The only reason it doesn't work is because I panic right away and start stressing out. I have been trying really hard. I've been able to say a few phrases to people I don't know, so that's some progress. But it is taking a toll on my mental health, so I'm trying to take it easier when it comes to uncomfortable situations. It's reassuring to know that emails would work. I'll probably work stocking shelves or something.

>>5 That is part of the reason I panic, yes. But I love talking and even when I know exactly what to say, I can't get the words out sometimes. It's such a strange disorder. Typing is way easier, so I really hope that I can use that option.

Thanks a lot guys! This is a lot more helpful than being told to just "deal with it".

Nice to hear that there's progress, even if it comes at a cost. Don't overdo it, tell that your father too. You want to resolve that issue, but do it one step at a time. I hope he'll understand that.

Yeah life is putting yourself out there, even if you may be hurt or embarrassed. Even if it's more difficult for you than others. With good friends and your family such as cousins, siblings, or your parents, you should try to act out certain situations. Everyone is nervous during interviews and the interviewers know that. What I did to try to be prepared for my job interview was pretend I was being interviewed. I had my papers ready, I was dressed up, and the chairs were placed in a certain way. My friend asked me questions that would probably be in a real interview and I answered. It took me multiple tries to formulate words as I stumbled over words, and I blurted out answers that weren't carefully thought through. My friend criticized me on these points and told me to slow down while talking, don't forget to breathe, carefully think through my answers (but not think for too long), and know that the interviewers are aware of how nerve-wracking an interview is. She also told me that even though I stumbled and my face was bright red with nervousness, it was barely noticeable. Well this is more of how to deal with the interview itself, but you could also try and pretend the interviewers are people who you are comfortable talking to.
A good thing about learning sign language is that you can use to find a job. You could get a job with those who are deaf of can't speak. Then you don't even have to talk!