hi i'm a trans boy, and i know i act extremely feminine sometimes, and i'm usually okay with that but... it's always very exhausting to be called a girl all the time, and it would be cool if i could pass more easily.

i've changed my hairstyle and i'm currently in the process of buying a binder, but i was wondering if anyone had any advice in terms of deepening my voice, easy ways to pack, working on gender presentation, coming out to longtime friends and family, etc. any tips at all would be extremely helpful, from cis guys to other trans men to people who've just had a lot experience in the area (i.e. cosplayers and genderfluid people)

Hey I'm sorry I cant say much on this topic seeing as I, and nobody I know have gone through this but what I can say is be confident in yourself. Also I do want to bump this in case anyone can give you any real advice.

Hello, Marx I'm Kuronaii.
I'm genderfluid and also do a lot of cosplaying and some trap singing and know a lot of people who are not cis gender so I've got some experience in this area. When trying to convey a "masculine" appearance there are some things you can do.
First off binding
http://www.wikihow.com/Bind-Your-Chest
I like to use this method a lot because it works for me and doesn't hurt. I have heard from some people that you shouldn't use this method long term or with ultra large breats. I feel the link can explain the basics and some warning with it. Although the best option if you can is to get a binder.
Voice
I'm not sure how well I can explain this but I'll try. When I am making my voice sound deeper and more masculine I tend to try and move where I'm speaking from the front or the top of my mouth to the bottom and the back or at least thats how it felt. Over time slowly practice lowering your pitch and attempting to sound deeper, don't try and jump right to a very low pitch because that will not only hurt and damage your voice but it will sound extremely unnatural. I'm not an expert in this area and my explanation is kinda weird so I'll link you to another website.
http://www.wikihow.com/Talk-With-a-Deeper-Voice
Clothes
The problem with clothes and appearing male is that most casual male clothing can be worn by girls. Unlike how when someone is wearing a skirt its automatically assumed that they are female or at least in girls clothing and attempting to appear so, quote on quote "boys clothes" are just T-shirts and shorts or pants most of the time which girls can also wear so really most guys clothing is just gender neutral. When aiming at male most of the time you have to go with extremely masculine things in order to convey the right message such as wearing things girls normally wouldn't even if they could like the T-shirt with a long sleeve button down over it or the knee length shorts or tuxedo again these are still not clear signs unfortunately. What you have to do in order to make yourself appear male with clothing is wear more nonfitted items such as shirts that dont pinch at the waist or around the legs or baggier things in general to hide any sign of a figure. Also height now this is mainly for if your shorter but it also helps even if you aren't. Most guys tend to be taller not all but most, so having a higher stature will help. What you can do for this is if your wearing long pants Ive seen many shoes and I own some that have large platforms and heels that can't really be seen and look mostly like normal shoes if worn under pants. I have in particular a pair of high heeled boots that when worn with long pants look like normal shoes. If your not wearing long pants but shorts theres not much you can do with this. You could try and find some platform sneakers or something that looks fairly normal. Also in regards to shoes most physically female people have smaller feet and the shoes can be a dead give away. What you can do is either try and find more masculine or neutral looking women shoes or you buy smaller sized male ones. Another thing that helps is if you buy shoes with laces that you can tie that are larger than your size this gives the appearance of larger feet. In order to get them to stay on you can either use thick socks and padding at the ends or tie the laces extremely tight so they stay on your feet. ( not so hard as to cut of circulation please be careful).
presentation
A weird thing I've noticed about girls and guys is the way they walk. Typically girls walk in a more smooth mannner with one foot in front of the other while guys tend to walk more with each foot going strait ahead. This leads to less swaying and more of a broader appearance.
coming out
Now this is a hard one. Coming out if a very different experience for everyone and not really something that can be done in a "right" or "wrong" way.The only tips I have for this is to come out to one person probably your closest friend who you think will support you first this way incase anything happens with anyone else you will have someone to go to instead of trying to face all your friends and family at once. Another thing is although I hope everything will turn out great for you just in case it doesn't make sure you have somewhere to go if your still living with your parents at the time your coming out such as ask a friend if you can stay the night if things get bad so that you have a safe space to calm down and relieve the tension. This part isn't completely necessary but just a back up if your dealing with more conservative people.
Other things
If have any specific questions that you would like me to try and answer or just need someone to talk to feel free to email me at Kuronaii.dollars@gmail.com I am not a professional in any sense but I'm always willing to lend an ear to anyone who needs it.

i feel your pain, i'm currently trying to make everyone at my work see me as a boy but customers see me as fem. (btw dunno if i'm trangender do, but i do like being a boy)

the only advise i can give u is where to get binder and pakcer dont try socks doesn't work well

binder site:

http://www.gc2b.co/
http://www.underworks.com/tri-top-chest-binder

Don't feel to pressured to make others see you a certain way. Always remember you're unique and that how you are maters. :)

>>5 Pretty much what I want to say.
Be certain that what you're doing is what you want to. Being unsure is the most unfitting thing to do for any gender, some people might view long hair or a certain colour as unmanly, but as long as you're dedicated to what you do, nobody can judge you for that.
I'm sorry I don't have any input on the other issues ._.

thank you so much for your advice guys! even if it was just a few words of inspiration, it really helped.

my voice coach is helping me get used to a lower range, and i've been practicing my walking and mannerisms for a little while now. still trying to figure out how to make/find a good packer without arising suspicion though.

my problem with my body rn is that it's shaped a lot more like an hourglass than an inverted triangle, but i'm hoping with some clothing adjustments and a binder, i can fix that. my height's not a problem; i'm already 5'10" and i tower over most of my family.

as for coming out, my mom already knows, but she doesn't like to talk about it much. i think she's hoping that it's just a phase and that i'll forget about it or something. my dad's the real wild card tho. i have no clue how he's gonna react and i'm terrified to find out

1) Sit with your legs spread (manspreading).
2) Get Nike shoes.
3) Get big shoes and stuff them with paper/tissues to make your feet look bigger.
4) Wear boxers
5) Stuff a pair of socks down your pants for binding.
6) Wear loose, MEN'S clothing
7) Either let your eyebrows grow out bushier or draw on larger brows.
8) Wear flannels, but they have to be manly, or you'll look like a lesbian.
9) Layer shirts to hide curves.
10) Get packers online. RESEARCH THEM!

To come out, I recommend asking their opinions on people like Caitlyn Jenner, then telling them.

Talk quieter, and lower. Practice by saying words that end in -ng in a low voice.

I'm a trans guy who sometimes passes and sometimes doesn't.

I notice that when I pass, I'm usually slouching, frowning (or keeping a neutral-looking face), and dropping my voice just a tad.

Don't go out of your way to sound like the fucking Incredible Hulk. Just drop it a notch. Drop it enough to hear a difference, but not enough to strain your throat. Usually with my voice, I make it sound just a little bit nasally.

Also, I know this is going to be a horrible thing to say, but if you're in feminine-presenting company, try not to look too interested in what they're saying. I can admit it myself- most guys are terrible listeners. If you're like me, this might come to you naturally.

Also, though this may sound kind of weird, you should consciously try to fit yourself into a male stereotype, even if it's not one that you fit. For example, a nerdy boy wears glasses, has a Marvel backpack, grins a lot, etc. Another example, a jock wears Nike shoes, is a raging misogynist, and has an unsettling smile.

If you fit the stereotypes for one "type" of boy, so to speak, then try to fit the rest of them. People naturally label strangers, so if they can quickly fit a male label to you (even if you don't totally agree with it), then you'll pass super easily.

I know I just rambled on a lot, so if something I said needs clarification then you can just let me know.