Recently, I've been having a lot of troubles with my family. My mother is a bit short-tempered whenever she feels as though someone is criticizing her knowledge. Sometimes, something will show up on the t.v. and it will spark up a conversation between my brother and my mom, and it always ends in a long, arduous argument. I usually agree with my brother, but even if I try to explain what he means in a calmer, kinder fashion, I get yelled at or pushed aside. My dad almost always takes my mom's side in pointless arguments, and I feel like I can't do anything. So recently, I've tried to take the position of a mediator for my family. It doesn't work. Even after trying to calm down my mother and brother, they still end up ignoring me and pushing me away. It really hurts me to feel so useless in these situations, but I can't do anything. My brother is going to leave for college soon, and I don't want him to be upset every week for the last year I get to spend with him. Can anybody give me any advice on how to deal with this? Maybe some ways to mediate the arguments better? I would really appreciate it!

I don't think you can really change your mom (in my opinion, adults never want to take advice from kids), but you could possibly tell your brother to just agree with her when something like that happens. Or at least, tell him before arguing any further when she gets angry to just say "ok...well, mom, I think...*discuss his side or whatever*"

Don't feel useless though, there's not much you can do about that =( I know from a similar experience myself.

Hope this helped.

Mediating dose not work in that scenario. As >>2 said adults hate taking advice from kids. Best thing you can do is stay out of it or try to steer conversation away from stuff like that. But don't ever give up on your beliefs or say something other than what you believe. If it makes someone unhappy, well fuck it, that person probably isn't meant to be in your life for a long time.

If it is just the arguments I can give some tips. First off it sounds like your mother is set in her thoughts and becomes aggravated when someone tells her otherwise. It sounds like your father avoids upsetting her, or avoids confrontation, and takes the short and easy way out.

Depending on who you try to debate with it becomes an argument. I like to debate and see others points of view, however most don't see it that way. When one states their own points the other usually mistakes it as being told they are wrong. I think that is how your mother takes it and becomes angry for being told she is wrong.

So I don't think a mediator would be feasible in this situation. The easiest way would just to end the arguments or discussions. I usually notice when someone starts becoming aggravated I change topics or end the discussion. Though it took me a while to notice since I pissed off a lot of people before.

I personally think >>2 is kind of right. I think it has more to do with being open minded to others views, or opinions. I am very open minded and it is very hard for one to insult me. I guess I am an adult, 23, and I still take advice from anyone, younger or older. Though if someone is closed minded they might be even more upset when someone younger offers their own opinion. Being younger, to them, would kind of mean they experienced less of life in a way. But I don't think that is why your mother gets so upset.