I am 空白. translate my name to know how I feel. i have been living in the past. I have gotten over the past. the past chased back for me. I ran away. and am tired of this cruel dull world. nothing is left for me here. so why don't I disappear. I cant, because I am in line to be the next lamb to the slaughter.

Lol.
Why ran away?
Man,life will chase you more when you ran.
Same as the Dog chasing to bite you.
You're tired? Rest for a bit, and find the confidence to face that problem in this cruel world. Patience is a virtue.
Nothing's left? Oh really? What about yourself?
YOU are the only one left, why not appreciate YOURSELf more with different things you haven't owned yet? Im sure there's many things you can achieve in this hiddenly gorgeous world.
Why do you half to be in the slaughter when you can be in the Hospital? (This sounds funny to be a figurative,oh well shut up, im not good on figurative speeches -_-)
It's on you on how you want the world to treat you. Humans are made for a reason. And that reason is to LIVE even at the end you'll still die.
Life is a game. Why play it when you know you'll still die?
But strange is, it's fun even you know Game Over exist.
Try to be optimistic, you're just tired. It's over when you give up.

I've actually had a pretty similar feeling, started going by the name "null" too. Not gonna go in detail.
You're not "next" unless you make yourself next. You haven't gotten over the past if you're running from it now and whether or not you care to believe it; everyone has a purpose in life, you just have to find it.

It's time for your past to receive a punch to the face!
What happened is already over, no reason to sulk over it. Mistakes and tragedies are all experiences which we can learn from, take the weaknesses of your past and grow with them.
If you only look at the past, you turn your back to the future that's waiting, filled with opportunities.