I hate my family.

I think I used to be happy and cheerful with my family. There were times when we fought, but I never really hated them and only loved them. But lately, something snapped, and ever since then I've had this feeling of hatred for them. My dad, my mom, and my sister. Recently, I've been withdrawn and less interactive with my family. They've noticed, and today my mom gave me a talk about being more considerate and interactive for and with the family. As my family are Christians, (as for me, I don't know or care anymore) she talked about letting Jesus work in my life and shit like that. Throughout her lecture, I realized that I didn't give a fuck. She asked me questions such as "do you want to be more considerate and loving towards the family", "do you want Jesus to help you", "do you want us, as the family, to help you" and so on. I wanted to say "no," but how else would I? I can't say no or else she'll jump into another full lecture or break down crying. It's obvious that she would never expect me to say no. As it is, I said "yes," but I don't mean it. I don't care, I don't give any fucks.

She asked me one last question: "Are you angry with something?" I wanted to say yes, and I wanted to say that I was especially angry with you. It's basically my mom's fault that I'm alive, isn't it? I never asked to be alive, I never wanted to be. But I didn't, and I only said I was angry. She asked me if she could help and if I wanted to talk to her about it, but I said no. She asked three more times in a different manner, but I rejected it. We ended our conversation like that.

By now, I'm pretty sure she's upset and she's talking with my dad about it. I honestly, again, don't care, no fucks given. My dad will probably talk to me too.

Ugh, I don't know if I really love or hate my family. They're family, but it's fine to hate them, right?

I don't know what to do. Should I just cover up my real feelings and pretend I love them? I hate this. I fucking hate this.

So why is it that you hate them exactly? All I got from it was you hated them for forcing religion on to you? Or because they want you to be a part of the family? There has to be more to it than just that. What did they do to that ignited this so called hatred?

If you are old enough just move out. I can't stand my family for long periods of time, so I will never move back in.

>>2 I'm not old enough to move out yet.

It's partly religion. My dad has been saying that I'm not "Christian enough" if I don't listen to Christian hymns or songs that are strictly directed towards praising God, stuff like that.
We've also been jumping around from church to church. Once we've settled in one, we move to another. It pisses me off, and I dislike the church we've recently been going to. I honestly don't like going to church anymore. I don't learn anything, and I only zone out when the preacher gives his sermon.

As to why I hate my family, I'm confused with that myself. I could probably list out a few personal reasons why, but I have always questioned if it's just a "teenage phase" I'm going through. I know teenagers may change throughout their years due to their hormones. If it is just a phase, I'll just have to suck it up and get through it, I guess.

I think I'm just wondering why I hate my family. There are personal reasons as to why, but as I said, I'm also thinking that it could be a phase.

I'm a Christian myself, Catholic to be specific. Since I moved places, I'm having some doubts about my faith as well. Maybe I consider myself agnostic. I don't really know what faith I belong to. However, I have this own view about the world and humanity that could be summarized to: "I don't give a fuck". I think that's what define my beliefs as of now.

As for my own family, I don't hate them. In fact they're important to me. But I feel that over this years my emotional (I guess) connection to them has been severely weakened. I think that the fight my father and mother would have from time to time contributed greatly to that. I also don't feel any sense of connection to my brother. It's as if he's just the most closest stranger to me.

Is it natural or right to feel this way? Should I leave it like this or fix it? Was it my fault, my family's or somebody's? I don't really know. I don't really know when it all started. But this is how I truly felt.

I think it is normal to push off your beliefs onto your family. But you will still be an individual and not be how your family wants you to be. My family wants me to be an engineer of sorts, but I dropped out of college since I don't want to be that. You have to do mainly what you want to. Don't feel too pressured into doing everything your parents tell you to do. For that would make you living their ideal life, not yours.

As for the religion I don't see one true religion. All religion has documents rewritten with bias. I believe there is truth within the documents, but not everything is true. I am really open to religion and I believe in a little bit of everything. I guess I am mainly Christian, but the last influence I had was from paganism. More along the lines of a Native American sense type though. Before that was Buddhism. There is just too many inconsistencies within any single religion for me.

Don't say you don't care for them if you obviously fear the consequences of being honest towards your family. Also, it's not entirely her fault for bringing you up, do you intend to shove all your problems onto your family? Your life is your own, even if others influence it, you are free to do what you want with it. (Obviously you are limited by your circumstances, but you see where I am coming from.)

As I find myself in a family I'd like to disconnect with, but still need them, I'll give you this advice: continue the charade. Unless you have a break down, being unable to deal with them, they'll slowly get used to your change of heart. Once you can move out, you can disconnect or keep up relations with them, just be patient.