Here's my background for this. Sometimes, I look through my contact list and try to check up on friends I haven't seen or talked to in a while; I like to make sure everyone is still alive and well. A couple days ago, I texted a good friend to check on her, and apparently, things weren't well. She didn't want to talk, so we only exchanged a couple messages. Yesterday, she texted me and told me everything that was going on and I am having a hard time giving her any good advice. I would like to see if anyone out there has any good advice for her.

Here is her background, to the best of my understanding. I knew her for several years through middle school and high school. She dated one guy for quite some time in high school, but she moved away before her senior year. She and this guy were totally in love, and they were pretty perfect for each other, but the move was not good for their relationship and they broke up. Fast forward and now she's dating a new guy. She's been dating him for a little more than a year and she is very much in love with him now. Lately though, she and him have fought some, they haven't been able to see each other much, and things are hard.

Now for the reason I am trying to help her. Very recently, the old guy has approached her with an offer to see her again, even marriage if she is still interested. She agreed with her current boyfriend that if they marry, it won't be for another couple years after college. Normally, this would seem outrageous, but with instabilities in her current relationship, as well as the fact that they didn't break up for lack of love for each other, she has considered it. She definitely has to make a choice, but she only has two months to decide. She hasn't approached her current boyfriend because she knows she will be forced to make a decision then and there. I believe the reason she is so torn up is this: she thinks that if she goes with the old guy, they are still young, she'll be driven into a commitment she's unsure of, and things may not be the same as before. On the other hand, if she stays with the new guy, things look bad on that end, and she'll lose both of them.

She is trying to take her time and think about it as much as she can, but she only has a couple months to decide. On top of that, she's not a stress free person. When I went to school with her, I would have to catch her on a daily basis in class because she would pass out from a stress induced condition. In about three weeks I am going to be on vacation close by and spend some time with her, but I would like something worthwhile to tell her.

Sorry for such a long post. Obviously this sort of thing is almost purely opinion, but anything helpful at all, even if it is just food for thought would be greatly appreciated.

I think that either way she goes is going to hurt herself in some way. I know that she loved her old bf a lot, but that was in the past. He has changed, and he may not be the man that she once loved. This will hurt her a lot. She should live her life in the present. She shouldn't look back at who she used to love because that guy didn't even approach her again after they moved until now. Does she really think that the old guy is a keeper if he only approaches her WAY after they were torn apart? On the other hand, as well, the other guy does not seem to be caring her a lot especially through all of this fighting. Personally, it may be better to lose both of them. She must have other people who love her much more than these two guys, so it wouldn't be like she is in loss. I don't know too well about this kind of topic, but that's my personal opinion. Please, don't hate on me for it ^^;

it is a hard choiche seh has to make and since she is a very stressed person it is a even worse situation.well what can i say,the old guy ins t the same guy she have dated back then,people change it really depends on who she loves truthful,it is posible to love two people at the same time,but it ins t posible to cope with the two loves.peole stres on who she really want to be.in my opiniion it is really possible she wants to be with the old guy instead of the crappy new boyfriend she has now.wish your friend the best of luck.

Going with the old guy's plan is a no. Even if they once were in love, that doesn't mean that their relationship, which was easily broken by distance, was ready for marriage. Something seems suspicious for her old boyfriend to offer his hand in marriage all of a sudden, maybe he's feeling down and just reminisces the good old times. Rather than going back out of the blue, the two of them should meet again to see how things would work out. For this to happen, she would have to give up on her current relationship.
That's something she has to decide for herself. I don't think fighting means they don't get along well, you fight precisely because you care for that person. If it has gotten out of hand and their relationship consists only of quarreling, it's probably better to give up on it. If she still believes their relationship can be saved, she should try her best to do so.
This also depends on the circumstances of their arguments, if they just have discussions about ways to spend their time and that sparks a flame, it's negligible. If they fall out because either one of them tries to force their opinnions onto the other, it might be better to end it. It completely depends on her whether their relationship can be demmed savable.