Why? Why? Can someone please just tell me why?

I love my family. I do. I wouldn't want anything to happen to them, but I just CAN'T STAND being around them. OR talking to them. OR just thinking about them.

They just DON'T show that they care in my mind. I mean, they try. They try to prove that they put me first, but I honestly have to wonder sometimes. I seriously have to just sit there and ask myself, "Do they really care? Think about me? At all?"

I SHOULDN'T have to question that. I really shouldn't. No, it's not one of those things where we have a fight. No. Everything's just perfectly fucking fine!

However, when I bring up WHY I don't think that they show that they care, they do change. For a day. For one friggen day, they're like, "Let's have a date! ust you and me! Then I'm like, "Great!"

But then the next day, it's the same. All the fucking same. I can't actually tell them my problems anymore because I don't want to be lied to like that. I don't was a temporary or quick fix. I don't want a patch up job on our relationship. I want them to show that they take this seriously. That they take me seriously.

The worst part? It's part of the cause of my suicidal thoughts, panic attacks, and depression. Because the people that should care most can't prove that they care at all. I feel that if I were to just disappear, no one would realize it for a week. Maybe longer!

Is it too much to ask for? I don't need constant attention. No, I do quite fine by myself alone, but is it too much to ask for someone to just say, "Hey! Let's hang out! Just the two of us!" Every once in a while? To put a little effort into it?

I can't even tell them, because I feel needy and like I'm asking for attention. I know that everyone's just doing it to make me happy, not because they noticed that I'm upset. IT's not like I expect them to know that I'm upset. Just that they make it known that they care and try to keep our relationship going so that there's nothing to notice.

No. The worst part is when they know or I try to reach out, and they completely miss the point or just ignore or forget about it.

Is it wrong to need attention? I feel like it's bad.

Most people need attention, that's not wrong.
However, you have to realize that your way of thinking is egocentric. People won't understand one another unless they talk to one another, and similarly, they won't notice someone's problems unless that person unveils them. Be the one to reach out, ask them to spend time together. Even if family shares the same blood, they don't share their mindset nor interests.
I think you're depending too much on your family. While they will always be there for you, they can't focus their lives around you. They have their own problems, which they probably share with their friends. In terms of attention, seek it from friends whether than family, since friendship is som,ething they will work for, while family is a bond that exists no matter how much you neglect it. Each member has their own life, which they share with the people they find, knowing the ones that they can call family will back them up.