im in a state where i get stressed about the stupidest things.just little things. and i dont know why i could be so stressed out. sometimes it gets so back i feel like i should go back to my self harming again. and yes i know i shouldnt do it and i havent. but in past time i have, i also am gay and i am stressed about comming out to my family.
ok so its come up in conversations(mind you i live with my grandparents) and it always ends up becoming a heated discussion and i feel bad about my self afterward. she said the last time cause my bother asked "what would you do if me or my sister was gay" and my grandmother replied like so " i would lose all respect for them". that kill me. i swear my heart dropped into my stomach. is that right?. i was scared after that. i kept thinking "if i tell her im going to lose every thing my stress is going to be even worse im not sure.
im not ready for the woman that raised me to sat to my face

"i no longer have any sort of respect for you it makes me disappointed you chose that path"

what should i do. it scares me. i mean i have been hiding my relationship from my grandmother for a year. and i know im in love and its just, what if she finds out and says i cant see her any more

should i just not stress about it, and just not tell her. please i need help

I had a similar situation with my grandmother, though it was only about eating less meat. We got into a heated discussion and I was not able to persuade her, in the end I even said that I am glad she'll die sooner than I will. Old people can be really thick headed, and I understand why you don't want to face her, I guess she's a person you do not want to lose. Nonetheless, even if it's a blood relative, I would not call someone who doesn't accept me the way I am family.
My relations with my grandmother were always healthy, she loved me unconditionally, and even when we had an argument, we would be reconciled a few minutes afterwards. Then again, if she were against my sexuality, it would most likely lead to consequences.
If my situation would allow it, I'd want to come out and tell them how I feel, if my family can't accept that, that's fine, I can live and coexist with differences. Although, it seems like your grandmother is going to abandon you once you tell her, so I think it's up to you to decide: Do you want to lie her and continue to live this stressful life or try and convey your feelings, risking your relationship, maybe even your place to be, which will at least allow you to keep true to yourself. I think you have to make a decission, which path you take is up to you.

Hi, I wanna let you know that I understand exactly where you're coming from. I'm not straight either and coming out is also one of my absolute biggest fears because my parents are homophobic. So I understand. Hearing the person who raised you, someone you love, say those sorts of things are like a punch to the gut. Worse than that, even. Like the words are putting a hole straight through you.

My plan is to not come out until I'm no longer living with my parents. (*If* I ever come out to them.) I guess I would suggest that to you also. (If you ever feel ready to come out before that though, go for it.) Always keep in mind that sometimes, people can change when they realize the "problem" is closer to them than they think. Maybe when the hypothetical "what would you do if I were gay" will become more real to her, and she'll at least try to change her views for you.
Still, you should probably steel yourself for the worst case scenario. Before you actually come out (if you ever do), try to accept the idea that maybe the result won't be so great. I know it's scary but if you're prepared, it might hurt a little less when it actually happens.
In the worst-case scenario, even if your grandmother won't treasure you after she finds out, surely your girlfriend will. You won't be alone afterwards. The dollars will still be here, too.

I know that this sort of worry is reaaaaally stressful. They're really intrusive thoughts and hard to ignore too. But the important thing is to find a distraction so you don't have to turn to self harming. Scribble hard on a sheet of paper. Get a marker and draw on yourself. Rub ice cubes on the places you want to harm. Watch funny vlog videos on youtube. Talk about something else to a friend or your girlfriend. When I feel the urge, I like doing the last two, because it helps me feel less like I'm alone with my thoughts.

To reduce stress, you can drink some un-caffeinated tea or eat some comfort food. Maybe lay down somewhere comfy and listen to music. Put aside any work you have for a little while. If you're at school or something and you're feeling stressed, go to the bathroom and take a minute to breathe.

I don't know. I hope I was of help here and I wish the best for you from here on xx

I am having similar problems in my life too. I want to tell my family that I am gay but I'm not sure how they will react. (They're all straight. I don't know how they react to gay people though...) But the first time that I felt anxious, I told my sister. (I trust her better than anyone else in my family.) She understood. Tell someone you trust. If you don't completely trust anyone in your family, then try and keep it in for a while.

When you feel the time is right, you can come out of the closet and tell them... If they lose their respect in you and shun you out, SCREW THEM!

It's your own life, you make your own choices. Nobody chooses for you... If you're gay or if your not gay, it doesn't matter what other people think of you... |
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YOU ARE YOU AND THAT IS NEVER GOING TO CHANGE!